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raajActually this time I'm not really upset about anything I've written. It's that what I've written isn't yet fitting into a cohesive thing. I can't seem to get a handle on what the driving points for these parts are, and as a result I'm pretty much getting to the point where I can't even make myself write more for it: I tweak stuff, rearrange sections, and... so little is actually properly complete as a scene or transitioning into each other because I don't know what scenes I even want to keep (this is way too long considering no scene in here is actually all the way complete). So yeah, warning, this is seriously messy to read.
Kind of debating just posting the first chapter as its own standalone and leaving the rest, well, alone. I like the idea of the story, it's the telling I can't figure out.
To start off with, HERE IS A BIT I CAN ACTUALLY CONSIDER COMPLETE even if I don't know it'll appear in the final draft of the story. (In fact it almost seems like with a bit of editing it could probably be its own thing as Tifa introspection.)
Cloud tells her, Aerith sent him a dream. That's how he knew she's headed for the City of the Ancients.
It doesn't hurt. Not harshly. The thought just sits there in Tifa's mind, lacking the good grace to know it's long overstayed its welcome.
A dream of peace and a promise. It sounds like something from a fairy tale, a more ethereal romance. It tempts a daydreamer to believe in soulmates—which, to be honest, Tifa never really has before. Cloud was her sweetheart always, her soulmate never. There is a connection, an understanding implied in 'soulmates' that she has never been able to pretend to with the blond, whose blue eyes hide thoughts she can't fathom. Even when they were both kids, he was hard to understand. She remembers that. It's getting harder to remember anything else about their friendship now.
If she had been made to claim anyone on this Planet as her soulmate...she thinks she would have said Aerith, the beautiful woman with hopeful green eyes. They had clicked so quickly, always breaking off from the others to do something together or teaming up when someone stubborn needed convincing, often without words. But--
But Aerith sent Cloud the dream. And for Tifa, there had only been a lie and excuse about why and where she was going out. "Stretching my legs!" Right. Aerith was stretching her legs across two continents.
Tifa understands well enough why she was lied to. Oh, she disagrees with it, but she understands. She would have stopped Aerith, she would have insisted on coming along, and even in the dream (as Cloud says, since she didn't have it) her friend didn't want to be followed. Rationally, it makes sense why Aerith carried things out the way she did, wanting what she did, even if Tifa Lockhart chafes at being kept away. So it doesn't hurt, not harshly.
But it still stings. That she was lied to. That Cloud got a proper explanation in their dream. Heh, "their" dream. If two people can share a dream, they really are connected, aren't they? In a bond that space and distance itself can't stretch out to fray.
Tifa had already known that night in Gold Saucer that she was going to get left behind. Once Aerith had made up her mind to pursue Cloud... Tifa hadn't even been able to choose then, or now, which one she loved more, which one she should confess to, and they'd been drawing ever steadily closer to each other. But to think, she'd been worried about something as ordinary as them kissing, when as it just so happened Aerith could touch Cloud's soul halfway around the world.
Had she ever stood a chance in this little love triangle?
So that's that. And then, backtracking a bit, here is the odds and ends and I swear I just cannot write anything long.
Aerith slept. Tifa didn't, keeping watch over her when she wasn't fretting over Cloud. He was dead to the world; wouldn't wake. But then, it was a near unanimous sentiment to let him take his time on that account. On the other hand Aerith needed to be woken up, every couple of hours, to make sure the concussion wasn't affecting her—it was never easy to tell with those if restorative materia had fully done the job. The smallness of Gongaga's inn meant a short patrol for Tifa as she paced between the two beds opposite each other in the tiny circular room, trying to count down the time and weighing counter impulses between letting Aerith recover from her exhaustion and wanting to make sure she would still wake, as well as to see if she might be able to explain any more of just what had happened in the pit that had been the Temple's foundation. One or two of the other members of their party were always in the inn as well, but the whole nine-man team was simply too big for the establishment, and after some discussion (and arguing, and uncertain looks that had hurt with their aim), they were mostly split up throughout the town. Gathering supplies and trying to figure out their next move, ostensibly.
Playing a waiting game as they wondered if the world might really come to an end.
The first time Aerith was carefully shook awake, she'd immediately spoken Cloud's name as a question, turning her head sharply to try catching sight of him. When she spotted him, the relieved sigh that passed her lips almost hurt to hear. "He's here, yeah," Tifa said needlessly. "We're back in Gongaga."
"He hasn't woken up?"
"No." The concern in Aerith's faint voice was heartening and frustrating all at once. If she was worried for Cloud even now, did she really not blame him? Tifa was glad for that, but she wanted to know why, so everyone could be reassured. …So she could be okay with the fact that Aerith was still bruised and disheveled from an assault that could have killed her, and already forgiving. "Aerith, do you think you can stay awake for a little while? We still don't know what happened down there…what happened to you and Cloud. And the Black Materia is…"
Tifa was already bracing herself as her friend's face grew dark and pinched, upset. The flower girl broke her gaze from their still-sleeping friend to answer: "Sephiroth has it."
A curse floated from the doorway; of course Cid was listening. Vincent surely was too, if more controlled in his reactions. After she'd carried Aerith out of the pit, Barret after her hauling Cloud like a sack of potatoes, Nanaki and Cait Sith had called up that they couldn't find the Black Materia in the pit. Tifa and Barret had each done a quick check of their unconscious passengers, but the materia seemed to have vanished. Immediately the gunman had yelled down demanding if this wasn't another fast one being pulled by Shinra, but Cait Sith was adamant that he'd done nothing fishy in the few minutes he'd been down in the pit—as though Nanaki's sharp eyes and hearing wouldn't have caught him out; they could check him too if they wanted! And it was testament to the tension running through the group that even with everyone aware of how unlikely the possibility was, Vincent actually did check the robot, just to put the nail in that coffin and lay it to rest. The narrow window of circumstance left a short list of suspects, and Sephiroth's name had topped it as the group remembered his strange movements, how he could have slipped past even the most careful watch. Tifa's heart still knotted like a noose to hear it confirmed.
"Then he's going to summon Meteor." And Nanaki's explanation of Sephiroth's plan for that particular spell had been chilling: if there was any truth in it, they were all in big trouble. If it was all true… the world really could come to an end.
"We still have time. He needs the Promised Land…" Aerith drifted off to silence, staring over Tifa's shoulder at what the fighter knew was just the brick wall of the hut; the room's entrance was on her other side.
"Aerith?"
Now she was looking at the door. And then the injured woman was trying to push herself off the bed. Even before her bruises made her stop short with a wince, Tifa was up on her feet, holding one hand out to stop her friend.
"No way. You need to rest."
"But, the Planet—"
"You said we still have time, right? So take a rest. You could tell me what it's saying." Not that Tifa really knew what to make of talking to the Planet; the only spirits she'd ever worked with were the alcoholic kind. But it was evident Aerith had talked to something in the temple…and even if she was the only who could hear it, that didn't mean others couldn't help her do whatever was needed, right?
There was so much tension knotted up in the brawler's limbs. She would have raced out and done just about anything, anything the Planet could ask, if it would fix this situation. If it would guarantee Cloud's eyes opening with clarity and calm, if it would mean Aerith could rest, if it would make everyone safe.
"I… I don't know. It's not clear," the Ancient admitted falteringly, sinking the hope of such a simple fix.
Tifa let out a slow breath. "Then we can't do anything yet. We need some sort of plan."
She had the strength to be firm, especially when the other woman's eyes were still murky with exhaustion; if Aerith wouldn't worry about herself, someone needed to. In the end the woman agreed to lie back down, 'for a little bit', and almost immediately slipped back into sleep. Tifa adjusted the pillow under the woman's head and fretted with the edges of her blanket, as her hands lacked anything better to do.
Cid summed up the situation: "Well, fuck!"
Cloud continued to sleep, and Tifa wondered, as she seemed to have countless times since finding him, what exactly was on his mind. Had he fully realized the trouble they were now in? Was that why had he snapped?
There still wasn't anything they could do, and it was starting to drive her mad.
Hours passed before Aerith was woken up again. The exhaustion in her eyes had turned into sadness. "Everyone's hurting."
That hit a little too close to home with how tense the group was, and Tifa shook her head. "What do you mean?"
"…Screaming…"
Tifa pursed her lips, sitting down by the side of the bed. Obviously her friend hadn't gotten the hoped-for restful sleep. "...Nanaki never heard Cloud scream."
"Ah?" Aerith's eyes flicked up to the ceiling without focusing on it. "...Oh." Her hands clasped gently under her chest, beginning to rise and fall with her breath. She closed her eyes for just a few seconds, and by the time Tifa recognized she might be praying--it was a gesture seen so rarely nowadays--her eyes were already open again. "No. I suppose he wouldn't have."
"I don't get it. What does that even mean? You were just hearing the Planet? But you sounded so sure he was hurt," Tifa blurted out, and almost winced at her pleading. But Aerith probably understood. She was concerned for Cloud too.
"I know what Cloud sounds like," Aerith said. Her voice was firm. "I've been listening, and watching, for him. For a while now. But I didn't know what to make of it."
Paying attention to Cloud? Tifa wasn't surprised, not after that night at the Gold Saucer, but that sting of petty jealousy was so slight at the moment. "Didn't know what to make of it?"
The other woman actually looked timid for a split-second, like she wanted to swallow back the very words she was clearly mulling over. "I thought... you would have said if something was really wrong with Cloud. You know him best of all of us."
For a moment, Tifa didn't react at all, her face slack at the unexpected statement. Aerith saw something wrong with Cloud too? So it wasn't just her... and then her cheeks colored at the implication she should have said something. And what would she have said? All she would have done was cast doubt on Cloud when she wasn't even sure he was the one wrong.
But any anger Tifa felt over the issue was pierced by the reality of where they were and where she'd wanted to be. Aerith herself had been laid up in bed by whatever was wrong with Cloud, and he was unconscious. Everyone was worried, even if they wouldn't show it. Would things be different if she'd said there was something off...? Tifa really had wanted to confide in someone all along. She'd wanted to confide in Aerith, she'd thought about it herself so many times, but the occasion had never been right.
No...she'd just never stopped being scared that the moment she admitted doubt in Cloud, she'd lose him again.
Aerith took in her silence and slowly nodded. "It's all right, Tifa. I could have said something too. It's pretty complicated, I guess... no, I know it is."
**
It was late in the night now since they'd gotten back from the temple. Tifa's body was already tired from travel and the scant sleep from the night before. She tried sitting down but the hard floors of the Gongaga Inn borne from poverty in the village made uncomfortable seating, little chance of resting on them. She found herself staring enviously at the beds. It was...those were the only way she could rest and be by Aerith and Cloud. Surely Aerith would not begrudge sharing the bed, right? Even after thinking it, and convincing herself of the truth of that thought, it still took Tifa a whole ten minutes to creep into the bed. She halted when Aerith's dark green eyes opened at her, but before she could apologize she realized there was no confusion or objection in them.
Aerith's hand lighted on her arm and tugged insistently. Tifa had to shift more and more into the bed, lying down beside her friend who curled in to nestle close. The girl's eyes were already closing again, but still Tifa wrapped one protective arm over her.
"It'll be all right," Tifa said quietly. "We're strong. We can get through this." Words she needed someone to say to her, words she knew Aerith needed to hear herself. It had to hurt, hearing the screams of a Planet. The screams of a friend as he was forced to betray. But Aerith was strong, stronger than her, smiling so often when there was little reason to. And she would shield Aerith, as much as possible.
She curled into Aerith, her head resting against the other girl's collarbone, thinking Aerith must be able to feel the lie of false confidence when she had to resist the urge to cling for dear life.
After a peaceful sleep that was too brief, that resistance failed when she felt the other woman pulling out from beneath her grasp; stuck between Tifa and the wall on each side, Aerith had decided instead to scoot downward along the bed and ease herself off its foot, slipping from beneath Tifa's arm. But Tifa's fingers tightened on her before the woman was fully out. "Aerith? Where are you going?"
"For a walk," Aerith said. "How long have I been asleep? It was much too long."
"No it wasn't. It was only..." Tifa was the one muddled by sleep now; she could tell Aerith how long she'd been asleep before being joined on the bed, but she had no idea of any track of time after that--the windowless state of the room definitely didn't help with that. She was so exhausted, her body's clock thoroughly out of sync, that it could have been morning, midnight, afternoon, how would she know?
She'd see outside. They were going on a walk. She pushed herself upright, trying to blink sleep from her eyes, but before she could swing up onto her feet there was a hand at her shoulder.
"Oh, Tifa. What are you doing?"
"I'll go with..."
"You've been watching over us this whole time, haven't you? You look so exhausted I feel like yawning all over again looking at you. Let yourself rest, Tifa."
Sleep did sound good. Really, really good—especially when the mere mention of yawning was suggestive enough for her traitorous mouth to do just that as soon as she opened it. "D...don't...go far. Everyone's been worried about you."
"I'll be back soon."
Tifa nodded, accepting her friend's word; though rather than lay back down, she dragged a bit of the blanket around her shoulders, feeling its extra warmth from body heat, and tracked Aerith blearily as she passed Yuffie with a smile and a blithe remark about needing to stretch her legs. She...did seem okay on her feet. Direct, not disoriented. So her concussion was truly healed then, a blessed reassurance. And she'd be back soon. Tifa wanted to wait for her to come back, but all too soon exhaustion pulled the caretaker back down into a blank, silent sleep.
"Tifa."
The body heat had dissipated. There was cold metal on her shoulder that made her fidget until realizing it was Vincent's metal claw resting on her, and then she jumped again because Vincent was never inclined to disturb others except for watch duty. "Wha, wha--is it my turn?" Were they taking turns here? She hadn't even thought to ask before.
Vincent ignored the question for the sleep-addled nonsense it was, instead crouching down slightly in front of the bed to meet her eyes. "Did Aerith tell you where she would be?"
"Out for a walk…she should be back soon."
His pale face was impassive. "She told Yuffie the same, but her 'walk' has been nearly four hours now."
Oh, God. She hadn't been well after all; she was probably collapsed in a faint somewhere. "We have to look for her—"
"We began searching two hours ago. She's not in the village," the former Turk summed up precisely, and Tifa felt both foolish and more frightened. Of course the others would have realized before now that something was wrong. Aerith could be easily distracted during her ventures, talk with locals turning "fifteen minutes" into "an hour" when the group was resting somewhere, but she was reliable when things got serious. Right now, they were dire. "We've begun sweeping the jungle… but it seemed prudent to check if she had said any more to you."
"No. She said she'd be right back… I don't understand. What could have happened?" The blanket's fabric became security as Tifa clutched it closer to her shoulders. "…We shouldn't have stopped here. Not after the last time. If Shinra took her—do you think she could have been?"
She was worrying now, openly fretting, and anyone else probably would have told her to calm down. At the moment, she was glad Vincent was the way he was, and willing to consider such possibilities. It still only took him a few seconds to shake his head. "There would have been a struggle. No one has seen or heard any evidence of that. I would say, more than likely… she's left of her own accord. Perhaps she finally made out what the Planet was telling her."
"You believe her, don't you, Vincent?"
"I've seen too much to be skeptical of such a claim." He straightened up. "We'll keep looking."
Tifa gritted her teeth, her hands folding up into fists. Damn it, why had her friend lied to her?! She wouldn't have stopped Aerith from going; she would have gone with, and kept an eye on her... someone else could watch Cloud, he was just sleeping, and he'd probably be okay, he hadn't even been injured, concerning as the assault on Aerith was.
**
When Cloud let out a soft moan, Tifa stopped still in her tracks, turning to him. Barret was also sharp at attention--enough to catch Tifa by the shoulder when the moaning continued and she started to approach Cloud, to wake him from the apparent nightmare.
Remembering what had happened when she'd shared a tent with Cloud near this town, she was glad for Barret's mindfulness. It was much too likely that he'd come back swinging, just as he'd gone out. It was already obvious as his jaw clenched and his fingers twitched that he was struggling against the dream.
"No...no! Come back!"
The next moment, Cloud's eyes opened, and they focused narrowly on Barret and Tifa. Clarity and calm were what she'd hoped would grace his expression, but he was wild-eyed and face twisted up, looking horrified.
He was aware, though. It was apparent by just how quickly his face settled again into something more controlled, even if his eyes still betrayed upset.
"You looked like you was havin' a nightmare," Barret told him. "How are you feeling?"
The first look Cloud gave him could easily have been interpreted as 'no shit', flat as it was. But the question seemed to be the final push he needed to get himself fully back to normal, blinking the last remnants of a restless sleep away: "...I seem to be okay now."
"That's good. For a while there I wasn't sure how things were going."
What were they talking like this for? Tifa knew Cloud, she knew Barret knew him--he wasn't going to spill his heart over a nightmare. "Cloud, Aerith is missing."
So they had to go now. He was awake, he was aware, he was probably shook up about what had happened because they all had been but for god's sake, Aerith was missing. She could be killed. They had to find her straight away.
She wasn't expecting Cloud to actually know where Aerith was.
"...City of the Ancients. Aerith is headed there."
That--sounded familiar, though Tifa couldn't quite place it. The answer sure got Barret in a fury, though, and Tifa immediately guessed: it was far, dangeous, or both. Well, it wasn't like the Temple of the Ancients had been easily accessible either.
"By herself?! Why'd she go by herself? Hey, we're going, too."
"Only the Ancients, only Aerith can save us from Meteor..."
"Then we MUST go," Tifa said, growing nervous. Cloud didn't sound like himself. Because really, any time Aerith was in danger or doing something that might be dangerous, he was there to be overly sensible. Sometimes annoyingly so, depending on how he phrased his objection. "What'll we do if something happens to Aerith? If Sephiroth finds her, she's in trouble."
Cloud didn't exactly freeze on the bed; he hadn't been moving in the first place. But movement became even more unlikely in that moment, with his eyes staying fastened toward the ground. "Sephiroth... already knows."
"Hey! Why are you still sitting around?" Barret demanded.
Exactly what Tifa had wanted to say, so she didn't reiterate it, upset as she was. They just needed to get moving. Before Aerith was taken from them. "Let's go, Cloud."
Something inside her crumpled when he did, folding in on himself on the bed and cradling his head like it could break. "No… I'm afraid. If this keeps up, I might go crazy! I'm afraid…"
Afraid he might be the one to hurt her? Was he really that unstable?
**
The point where it gets EVEN MESSIER TO READ because haha writing:
Cloud wanted to be by Tifa, as much as he wanted to be by anyone at all. He still didn't have a good explanation for his actions in the pit of the once Temple and it scared him. He'd wanted Aerith to--tell me who I am--but she hadn't, couldn't. She had to go save the world. That sense of goodness that radiated from her eyes, like they were reflecting something only she could perceive in him, quickly vanished. It had felt like there was no way he could do anything for her.
Tifa and Barret had quickly raged at him, promises of knocks upside the head and quiet pleas that they must go save Aerith getting him back up on his feet, and once there... yeah, he was annoyed with himself too. He had been a SOLDIER. He wasn't going to fail her by doing nothing.
Still...it...scared him, the moment the world had slipped out of focus and he had practically been outside his body, watching himself hand over the materia. He'd screamed at himself, tried to hold his own body back, but in the end nothing had worked; the materia had been handed over to Sephiroth.
And then... then...
He'd beaten Aerith. Tifa had told him, with a pinched, unhappy face, that that was the reason he now had jagged claw marks over the back of his left shoulder: he'd been beating Aerith, and after Nanaki had failed to get any response by yelling at him the feline had pounced on him to bring him to the ground.
Cloud barely remembered any yelling under the heavy tinnitus ringing not in his ears but in his head; but Tifa was honest. So the only thing to do had been thank Nanaki--quickly, without fuss, but it needed to be said.
'You did the right thing. If I'm a threat, take me out.'
Nanaki's actions, Barret's words...yes, he knew he could trust in his party if he went wild. But...
But he wasn't really sure...if a second time would find him coming back to normal. It felt like he was unraveling, and badly. It scared him. Like he was weaving offstep--he just didn't want to go crazy like that again.
So...so he was gravitating to Tifa. Even though she was looking away from him. It's because he's letting down her best friend. He understands that, so he's not angry, but he's just... something inside him is aching. He needed Aerith to tell him who he was, but she wouldn't. And Tifa's always, always had the answers, always been willing to take care of people, so maybe she would--if he could just get her to look at him.
What he does is sit down on the bed at the same moment she does. Their backs bump into each other and she sucks a breath in, jerking back up. "Cloud--"
Barret is giving him a look that promises so much shit if he even breathes on her wrong, but the man soon looks away. Cloud's not sure if it's because Barret knows him better than that now, or if he knows Tifa would kick his ass herself if it needed beating, or if his face is saying too much about how he feels.
It'd be just perfect if his face is saying too much when he can't even get his mouth to work.
"I wanted to talk to you," he murmurs to Tifa.
**
((...Also that is like three different attempts at that scene spliced together just now. So pretty much everything I've done with this fic lately was just "Oh, I think I have an idea. No, I don't know how to make the idea work. Let's try this. Now I'm frustrated. Let's try something else. LET'S GO BACK TO THIS...))
**
Her fingers twitched before clasping around cloud's bicep. "Cloud."
He looked at her with confusion. She knew her request was one that would throw him for a loop.
"Let me go up to Aerith first," she whispered. Because she could protect Aerith too, because she wanted to. She wanted to protect Cloud.
He nodded, though with uncertainty in his eyes, and she strode toward the first pillar and took a short leap up to it. She wondered if originally they'd been closer, or had more pillars in between--they weren't level but slightly crooked beneath her feet, leading to the guess that they'd been disturbed at one point.
And yet, still, she passed with little enough noise. Aerith did not stir one bit, which made Tifa grit her teeth. They had been so worried about her... shouldn't she at least acknowledge them? But the woman continued to keep her head bowed, hands clasped.
...Perhaps, then, she was communicating to someone. Probably the Planet. After sharing dreams with Cloud, Aerith wouldn't exactly be pulling a surprise by communicating to the Planet by prayer. So this was what she'd left them behind for.
A cut-off sound pulled her attention back for just a moment. Cloud had started toward the pillar, only for Barret to immediately grab his shoulder. He wanted to see Aerith, so it shouldn't have been a surprise to anyone...but it seemed to be a surprise to himself. His eyes were a touch wide, mouth working fruitlessly for a second before he closed it and shook his head.
Tifa wasn't sure if she wanted to know, not when they were so close to having Aerith back, so she crossed the final pillar into the threshold of the altar.
Aerith was still in prayer. Tifa wanted to shake her out of it and one hand rose to do that, but she just--couldn't. Aerith had come here to pray, so she needed to do that, obviously. She was the one saving the world, and just watching her... Tifa wasn't sure if it was the angle of her brow or the curve of her shoulders in prayer, but somehow she could see Aerith was pouring her whole heart into that.
Finally, green eyes opened, and Aerith immediately smiled at Tifa. It was the warmth of that gesture and the sure sign of hope behind it--Aerith was done praying and she was happy, it must mean something good--that let the tension ease out of the brawler's muscles, even as she caught herself and resolved that she wanted to tell the other woman how she felt about that little vanishing trick back in Gongaga.
"Aerith, we were so worried--"
In the glass surrounding them, there was a single flicker: a shadow, where there should only have been light.
It was enough for Tifa to shove Aerith back. And that was enough to place her in the path of a blade she recognized all too well when it sliced through her stomach from front to back.
Masamune. Seeing it embedded into her flesh once again felt unreal, but she was already struggling to pull in breath. Not a dream then, not a nightmare.
This...this was something she might never wake up from.
IN CONCLUSION: I think I am pretty much going about this chapter all wrong and am just now contemplating doing the final chapter as a sort of round of sleeping scenes...especially since I for some reason want to write about Aerith in the Sleeping Forest on her own. Even though no one else is with her \o_o/ I have pretty much hit the wall for a while now on knowing what I want to do with this.
Kind of debating just posting the first chapter as its own standalone and leaving the rest, well, alone. I like the idea of the story, it's the telling I can't figure out.
To start off with, HERE IS A BIT I CAN ACTUALLY CONSIDER COMPLETE even if I don't know it'll appear in the final draft of the story. (In fact it almost seems like with a bit of editing it could probably be its own thing as Tifa introspection.)
Cloud tells her, Aerith sent him a dream. That's how he knew she's headed for the City of the Ancients.
It doesn't hurt. Not harshly. The thought just sits there in Tifa's mind, lacking the good grace to know it's long overstayed its welcome.
A dream of peace and a promise. It sounds like something from a fairy tale, a more ethereal romance. It tempts a daydreamer to believe in soulmates—which, to be honest, Tifa never really has before. Cloud was her sweetheart always, her soulmate never. There is a connection, an understanding implied in 'soulmates' that she has never been able to pretend to with the blond, whose blue eyes hide thoughts she can't fathom. Even when they were both kids, he was hard to understand. She remembers that. It's getting harder to remember anything else about their friendship now.
If she had been made to claim anyone on this Planet as her soulmate...she thinks she would have said Aerith, the beautiful woman with hopeful green eyes. They had clicked so quickly, always breaking off from the others to do something together or teaming up when someone stubborn needed convincing, often without words. But--
But Aerith sent Cloud the dream. And for Tifa, there had only been a lie and excuse about why and where she was going out. "Stretching my legs!" Right. Aerith was stretching her legs across two continents.
Tifa understands well enough why she was lied to. Oh, she disagrees with it, but she understands. She would have stopped Aerith, she would have insisted on coming along, and even in the dream (as Cloud says, since she didn't have it) her friend didn't want to be followed. Rationally, it makes sense why Aerith carried things out the way she did, wanting what she did, even if Tifa Lockhart chafes at being kept away. So it doesn't hurt, not harshly.
But it still stings. That she was lied to. That Cloud got a proper explanation in their dream. Heh, "their" dream. If two people can share a dream, they really are connected, aren't they? In a bond that space and distance itself can't stretch out to fray.
Tifa had already known that night in Gold Saucer that she was going to get left behind. Once Aerith had made up her mind to pursue Cloud... Tifa hadn't even been able to choose then, or now, which one she loved more, which one she should confess to, and they'd been drawing ever steadily closer to each other. But to think, she'd been worried about something as ordinary as them kissing, when as it just so happened Aerith could touch Cloud's soul halfway around the world.
Had she ever stood a chance in this little love triangle?
So that's that. And then, backtracking a bit, here is the odds and ends and I swear I just cannot write anything long.
Aerith slept. Tifa didn't, keeping watch over her when she wasn't fretting over Cloud. He was dead to the world; wouldn't wake. But then, it was a near unanimous sentiment to let him take his time on that account. On the other hand Aerith needed to be woken up, every couple of hours, to make sure the concussion wasn't affecting her—it was never easy to tell with those if restorative materia had fully done the job. The smallness of Gongaga's inn meant a short patrol for Tifa as she paced between the two beds opposite each other in the tiny circular room, trying to count down the time and weighing counter impulses between letting Aerith recover from her exhaustion and wanting to make sure she would still wake, as well as to see if she might be able to explain any more of just what had happened in the pit that had been the Temple's foundation. One or two of the other members of their party were always in the inn as well, but the whole nine-man team was simply too big for the establishment, and after some discussion (and arguing, and uncertain looks that had hurt with their aim), they were mostly split up throughout the town. Gathering supplies and trying to figure out their next move, ostensibly.
Playing a waiting game as they wondered if the world might really come to an end.
The first time Aerith was carefully shook awake, she'd immediately spoken Cloud's name as a question, turning her head sharply to try catching sight of him. When she spotted him, the relieved sigh that passed her lips almost hurt to hear. "He's here, yeah," Tifa said needlessly. "We're back in Gongaga."
"He hasn't woken up?"
"No." The concern in Aerith's faint voice was heartening and frustrating all at once. If she was worried for Cloud even now, did she really not blame him? Tifa was glad for that, but she wanted to know why, so everyone could be reassured. …So she could be okay with the fact that Aerith was still bruised and disheveled from an assault that could have killed her, and already forgiving. "Aerith, do you think you can stay awake for a little while? We still don't know what happened down there…what happened to you and Cloud. And the Black Materia is…"
Tifa was already bracing herself as her friend's face grew dark and pinched, upset. The flower girl broke her gaze from their still-sleeping friend to answer: "Sephiroth has it."
A curse floated from the doorway; of course Cid was listening. Vincent surely was too, if more controlled in his reactions. After she'd carried Aerith out of the pit, Barret after her hauling Cloud like a sack of potatoes, Nanaki and Cait Sith had called up that they couldn't find the Black Materia in the pit. Tifa and Barret had each done a quick check of their unconscious passengers, but the materia seemed to have vanished. Immediately the gunman had yelled down demanding if this wasn't another fast one being pulled by Shinra, but Cait Sith was adamant that he'd done nothing fishy in the few minutes he'd been down in the pit—as though Nanaki's sharp eyes and hearing wouldn't have caught him out; they could check him too if they wanted! And it was testament to the tension running through the group that even with everyone aware of how unlikely the possibility was, Vincent actually did check the robot, just to put the nail in that coffin and lay it to rest. The narrow window of circumstance left a short list of suspects, and Sephiroth's name had topped it as the group remembered his strange movements, how he could have slipped past even the most careful watch. Tifa's heart still knotted like a noose to hear it confirmed.
"Then he's going to summon Meteor." And Nanaki's explanation of Sephiroth's plan for that particular spell had been chilling: if there was any truth in it, they were all in big trouble. If it was all true… the world really could come to an end.
"We still have time. He needs the Promised Land…" Aerith drifted off to silence, staring over Tifa's shoulder at what the fighter knew was just the brick wall of the hut; the room's entrance was on her other side.
"Aerith?"
Now she was looking at the door. And then the injured woman was trying to push herself off the bed. Even before her bruises made her stop short with a wince, Tifa was up on her feet, holding one hand out to stop her friend.
"No way. You need to rest."
"But, the Planet—"
"You said we still have time, right? So take a rest. You could tell me what it's saying." Not that Tifa really knew what to make of talking to the Planet; the only spirits she'd ever worked with were the alcoholic kind. But it was evident Aerith had talked to something in the temple…and even if she was the only who could hear it, that didn't mean others couldn't help her do whatever was needed, right?
There was so much tension knotted up in the brawler's limbs. She would have raced out and done just about anything, anything the Planet could ask, if it would fix this situation. If it would guarantee Cloud's eyes opening with clarity and calm, if it would mean Aerith could rest, if it would make everyone safe.
"I… I don't know. It's not clear," the Ancient admitted falteringly, sinking the hope of such a simple fix.
Tifa let out a slow breath. "Then we can't do anything yet. We need some sort of plan."
She had the strength to be firm, especially when the other woman's eyes were still murky with exhaustion; if Aerith wouldn't worry about herself, someone needed to. In the end the woman agreed to lie back down, 'for a little bit', and almost immediately slipped back into sleep. Tifa adjusted the pillow under the woman's head and fretted with the edges of her blanket, as her hands lacked anything better to do.
Cid summed up the situation: "Well, fuck!"
Cloud continued to sleep, and Tifa wondered, as she seemed to have countless times since finding him, what exactly was on his mind. Had he fully realized the trouble they were now in? Was that why had he snapped?
There still wasn't anything they could do, and it was starting to drive her mad.
Hours passed before Aerith was woken up again. The exhaustion in her eyes had turned into sadness. "Everyone's hurting."
That hit a little too close to home with how tense the group was, and Tifa shook her head. "What do you mean?"
"…Screaming…"
Tifa pursed her lips, sitting down by the side of the bed. Obviously her friend hadn't gotten the hoped-for restful sleep. "...Nanaki never heard Cloud scream."
"Ah?" Aerith's eyes flicked up to the ceiling without focusing on it. "...Oh." Her hands clasped gently under her chest, beginning to rise and fall with her breath. She closed her eyes for just a few seconds, and by the time Tifa recognized she might be praying--it was a gesture seen so rarely nowadays--her eyes were already open again. "No. I suppose he wouldn't have."
"I don't get it. What does that even mean? You were just hearing the Planet? But you sounded so sure he was hurt," Tifa blurted out, and almost winced at her pleading. But Aerith probably understood. She was concerned for Cloud too.
"I know what Cloud sounds like," Aerith said. Her voice was firm. "I've been listening, and watching, for him. For a while now. But I didn't know what to make of it."
Paying attention to Cloud? Tifa wasn't surprised, not after that night at the Gold Saucer, but that sting of petty jealousy was so slight at the moment. "Didn't know what to make of it?"
The other woman actually looked timid for a split-second, like she wanted to swallow back the very words she was clearly mulling over. "I thought... you would have said if something was really wrong with Cloud. You know him best of all of us."
For a moment, Tifa didn't react at all, her face slack at the unexpected statement. Aerith saw something wrong with Cloud too? So it wasn't just her... and then her cheeks colored at the implication she should have said something. And what would she have said? All she would have done was cast doubt on Cloud when she wasn't even sure he was the one wrong.
But any anger Tifa felt over the issue was pierced by the reality of where they were and where she'd wanted to be. Aerith herself had been laid up in bed by whatever was wrong with Cloud, and he was unconscious. Everyone was worried, even if they wouldn't show it. Would things be different if she'd said there was something off...? Tifa really had wanted to confide in someone all along. She'd wanted to confide in Aerith, she'd thought about it herself so many times, but the occasion had never been right.
No...she'd just never stopped being scared that the moment she admitted doubt in Cloud, she'd lose him again.
Aerith took in her silence and slowly nodded. "It's all right, Tifa. I could have said something too. It's pretty complicated, I guess... no, I know it is."
**
It was late in the night now since they'd gotten back from the temple. Tifa's body was already tired from travel and the scant sleep from the night before. She tried sitting down but the hard floors of the Gongaga Inn borne from poverty in the village made uncomfortable seating, little chance of resting on them. She found herself staring enviously at the beds. It was...those were the only way she could rest and be by Aerith and Cloud. Surely Aerith would not begrudge sharing the bed, right? Even after thinking it, and convincing herself of the truth of that thought, it still took Tifa a whole ten minutes to creep into the bed. She halted when Aerith's dark green eyes opened at her, but before she could apologize she realized there was no confusion or objection in them.
Aerith's hand lighted on her arm and tugged insistently. Tifa had to shift more and more into the bed, lying down beside her friend who curled in to nestle close. The girl's eyes were already closing again, but still Tifa wrapped one protective arm over her.
"It'll be all right," Tifa said quietly. "We're strong. We can get through this." Words she needed someone to say to her, words she knew Aerith needed to hear herself. It had to hurt, hearing the screams of a Planet. The screams of a friend as he was forced to betray. But Aerith was strong, stronger than her, smiling so often when there was little reason to. And she would shield Aerith, as much as possible.
She curled into Aerith, her head resting against the other girl's collarbone, thinking Aerith must be able to feel the lie of false confidence when she had to resist the urge to cling for dear life.
After a peaceful sleep that was too brief, that resistance failed when she felt the other woman pulling out from beneath her grasp; stuck between Tifa and the wall on each side, Aerith had decided instead to scoot downward along the bed and ease herself off its foot, slipping from beneath Tifa's arm. But Tifa's fingers tightened on her before the woman was fully out. "Aerith? Where are you going?"
"For a walk," Aerith said. "How long have I been asleep? It was much too long."
"No it wasn't. It was only..." Tifa was the one muddled by sleep now; she could tell Aerith how long she'd been asleep before being joined on the bed, but she had no idea of any track of time after that--the windowless state of the room definitely didn't help with that. She was so exhausted, her body's clock thoroughly out of sync, that it could have been morning, midnight, afternoon, how would she know?
She'd see outside. They were going on a walk. She pushed herself upright, trying to blink sleep from her eyes, but before she could swing up onto her feet there was a hand at her shoulder.
"Oh, Tifa. What are you doing?"
"I'll go with..."
"You've been watching over us this whole time, haven't you? You look so exhausted I feel like yawning all over again looking at you. Let yourself rest, Tifa."
Sleep did sound good. Really, really good—especially when the mere mention of yawning was suggestive enough for her traitorous mouth to do just that as soon as she opened it. "D...don't...go far. Everyone's been worried about you."
"I'll be back soon."
Tifa nodded, accepting her friend's word; though rather than lay back down, she dragged a bit of the blanket around her shoulders, feeling its extra warmth from body heat, and tracked Aerith blearily as she passed Yuffie with a smile and a blithe remark about needing to stretch her legs. She...did seem okay on her feet. Direct, not disoriented. So her concussion was truly healed then, a blessed reassurance. And she'd be back soon. Tifa wanted to wait for her to come back, but all too soon exhaustion pulled the caretaker back down into a blank, silent sleep.
"Tifa."
The body heat had dissipated. There was cold metal on her shoulder that made her fidget until realizing it was Vincent's metal claw resting on her, and then she jumped again because Vincent was never inclined to disturb others except for watch duty. "Wha, wha--is it my turn?" Were they taking turns here? She hadn't even thought to ask before.
Vincent ignored the question for the sleep-addled nonsense it was, instead crouching down slightly in front of the bed to meet her eyes. "Did Aerith tell you where she would be?"
"Out for a walk…she should be back soon."
His pale face was impassive. "She told Yuffie the same, but her 'walk' has been nearly four hours now."
Oh, God. She hadn't been well after all; she was probably collapsed in a faint somewhere. "We have to look for her—"
"We began searching two hours ago. She's not in the village," the former Turk summed up precisely, and Tifa felt both foolish and more frightened. Of course the others would have realized before now that something was wrong. Aerith could be easily distracted during her ventures, talk with locals turning "fifteen minutes" into "an hour" when the group was resting somewhere, but she was reliable when things got serious. Right now, they were dire. "We've begun sweeping the jungle… but it seemed prudent to check if she had said any more to you."
"No. She said she'd be right back… I don't understand. What could have happened?" The blanket's fabric became security as Tifa clutched it closer to her shoulders. "…We shouldn't have stopped here. Not after the last time. If Shinra took her—do you think she could have been?"
She was worrying now, openly fretting, and anyone else probably would have told her to calm down. At the moment, she was glad Vincent was the way he was, and willing to consider such possibilities. It still only took him a few seconds to shake his head. "There would have been a struggle. No one has seen or heard any evidence of that. I would say, more than likely… she's left of her own accord. Perhaps she finally made out what the Planet was telling her."
"You believe her, don't you, Vincent?"
"I've seen too much to be skeptical of such a claim." He straightened up. "We'll keep looking."
Tifa gritted her teeth, her hands folding up into fists. Damn it, why had her friend lied to her?! She wouldn't have stopped Aerith from going; she would have gone with, and kept an eye on her... someone else could watch Cloud, he was just sleeping, and he'd probably be okay, he hadn't even been injured, concerning as the assault on Aerith was.
**
When Cloud let out a soft moan, Tifa stopped still in her tracks, turning to him. Barret was also sharp at attention--enough to catch Tifa by the shoulder when the moaning continued and she started to approach Cloud, to wake him from the apparent nightmare.
Remembering what had happened when she'd shared a tent with Cloud near this town, she was glad for Barret's mindfulness. It was much too likely that he'd come back swinging, just as he'd gone out. It was already obvious as his jaw clenched and his fingers twitched that he was struggling against the dream.
"No...no! Come back!"
The next moment, Cloud's eyes opened, and they focused narrowly on Barret and Tifa. Clarity and calm were what she'd hoped would grace his expression, but he was wild-eyed and face twisted up, looking horrified.
He was aware, though. It was apparent by just how quickly his face settled again into something more controlled, even if his eyes still betrayed upset.
"You looked like you was havin' a nightmare," Barret told him. "How are you feeling?"
The first look Cloud gave him could easily have been interpreted as 'no shit', flat as it was. But the question seemed to be the final push he needed to get himself fully back to normal, blinking the last remnants of a restless sleep away: "...I seem to be okay now."
"That's good. For a while there I wasn't sure how things were going."
What were they talking like this for? Tifa knew Cloud, she knew Barret knew him--he wasn't going to spill his heart over a nightmare. "Cloud, Aerith is missing."
So they had to go now. He was awake, he was aware, he was probably shook up about what had happened because they all had been but for god's sake, Aerith was missing. She could be killed. They had to find her straight away.
She wasn't expecting Cloud to actually know where Aerith was.
"...City of the Ancients. Aerith is headed there."
That--sounded familiar, though Tifa couldn't quite place it. The answer sure got Barret in a fury, though, and Tifa immediately guessed: it was far, dangeous, or both. Well, it wasn't like the Temple of the Ancients had been easily accessible either.
"By herself?! Why'd she go by herself? Hey, we're going, too."
"Only the Ancients, only Aerith can save us from Meteor..."
"Then we MUST go," Tifa said, growing nervous. Cloud didn't sound like himself. Because really, any time Aerith was in danger or doing something that might be dangerous, he was there to be overly sensible. Sometimes annoyingly so, depending on how he phrased his objection. "What'll we do if something happens to Aerith? If Sephiroth finds her, she's in trouble."
Cloud didn't exactly freeze on the bed; he hadn't been moving in the first place. But movement became even more unlikely in that moment, with his eyes staying fastened toward the ground. "Sephiroth... already knows."
"Hey! Why are you still sitting around?" Barret demanded.
Exactly what Tifa had wanted to say, so she didn't reiterate it, upset as she was. They just needed to get moving. Before Aerith was taken from them. "Let's go, Cloud."
Something inside her crumpled when he did, folding in on himself on the bed and cradling his head like it could break. "No… I'm afraid. If this keeps up, I might go crazy! I'm afraid…"
Afraid he might be the one to hurt her? Was he really that unstable?
**
The point where it gets EVEN MESSIER TO READ because haha writing:
Cloud wanted to be by Tifa, as much as he wanted to be by anyone at all. He still didn't have a good explanation for his actions in the pit of the once Temple and it scared him. He'd wanted Aerith to--tell me who I am--but she hadn't, couldn't. She had to go save the world. That sense of goodness that radiated from her eyes, like they were reflecting something only she could perceive in him, quickly vanished. It had felt like there was no way he could do anything for her.
Tifa and Barret had quickly raged at him, promises of knocks upside the head and quiet pleas that they must go save Aerith getting him back up on his feet, and once there... yeah, he was annoyed with himself too. He had been a SOLDIER. He wasn't going to fail her by doing nothing.
Still...it...scared him, the moment the world had slipped out of focus and he had practically been outside his body, watching himself hand over the materia. He'd screamed at himself, tried to hold his own body back, but in the end nothing had worked; the materia had been handed over to Sephiroth.
And then... then...
He'd beaten Aerith. Tifa had told him, with a pinched, unhappy face, that that was the reason he now had jagged claw marks over the back of his left shoulder: he'd been beating Aerith, and after Nanaki had failed to get any response by yelling at him the feline had pounced on him to bring him to the ground.
Cloud barely remembered any yelling under the heavy tinnitus ringing not in his ears but in his head; but Tifa was honest. So the only thing to do had been thank Nanaki--quickly, without fuss, but it needed to be said.
'You did the right thing. If I'm a threat, take me out.'
Nanaki's actions, Barret's words...yes, he knew he could trust in his party if he went wild. But...
But he wasn't really sure...if a second time would find him coming back to normal. It felt like he was unraveling, and badly. It scared him. Like he was weaving offstep--he just didn't want to go crazy like that again.
So...so he was gravitating to Tifa. Even though she was looking away from him. It's because he's letting down her best friend. He understands that, so he's not angry, but he's just... something inside him is aching. He needed Aerith to tell him who he was, but she wouldn't. And Tifa's always, always had the answers, always been willing to take care of people, so maybe she would--if he could just get her to look at him.
What he does is sit down on the bed at the same moment she does. Their backs bump into each other and she sucks a breath in, jerking back up. "Cloud--"
Barret is giving him a look that promises so much shit if he even breathes on her wrong, but the man soon looks away. Cloud's not sure if it's because Barret knows him better than that now, or if he knows Tifa would kick his ass herself if it needed beating, or if his face is saying too much about how he feels.
It'd be just perfect if his face is saying too much when he can't even get his mouth to work.
"I wanted to talk to you," he murmurs to Tifa.
**
((...Also that is like three different attempts at that scene spliced together just now. So pretty much everything I've done with this fic lately was just "Oh, I think I have an idea. No, I don't know how to make the idea work. Let's try this. Now I'm frustrated. Let's try something else. LET'S GO BACK TO THIS...))
**
Her fingers twitched before clasping around cloud's bicep. "Cloud."
He looked at her with confusion. She knew her request was one that would throw him for a loop.
"Let me go up to Aerith first," she whispered. Because she could protect Aerith too, because she wanted to. She wanted to protect Cloud.
He nodded, though with uncertainty in his eyes, and she strode toward the first pillar and took a short leap up to it. She wondered if originally they'd been closer, or had more pillars in between--they weren't level but slightly crooked beneath her feet, leading to the guess that they'd been disturbed at one point.
And yet, still, she passed with little enough noise. Aerith did not stir one bit, which made Tifa grit her teeth. They had been so worried about her... shouldn't she at least acknowledge them? But the woman continued to keep her head bowed, hands clasped.
...Perhaps, then, she was communicating to someone. Probably the Planet. After sharing dreams with Cloud, Aerith wouldn't exactly be pulling a surprise by communicating to the Planet by prayer. So this was what she'd left them behind for.
A cut-off sound pulled her attention back for just a moment. Cloud had started toward the pillar, only for Barret to immediately grab his shoulder. He wanted to see Aerith, so it shouldn't have been a surprise to anyone...but it seemed to be a surprise to himself. His eyes were a touch wide, mouth working fruitlessly for a second before he closed it and shook his head.
Tifa wasn't sure if she wanted to know, not when they were so close to having Aerith back, so she crossed the final pillar into the threshold of the altar.
Aerith was still in prayer. Tifa wanted to shake her out of it and one hand rose to do that, but she just--couldn't. Aerith had come here to pray, so she needed to do that, obviously. She was the one saving the world, and just watching her... Tifa wasn't sure if it was the angle of her brow or the curve of her shoulders in prayer, but somehow she could see Aerith was pouring her whole heart into that.
Finally, green eyes opened, and Aerith immediately smiled at Tifa. It was the warmth of that gesture and the sure sign of hope behind it--Aerith was done praying and she was happy, it must mean something good--that let the tension ease out of the brawler's muscles, even as she caught herself and resolved that she wanted to tell the other woman how she felt about that little vanishing trick back in Gongaga.
"Aerith, we were so worried--"
In the glass surrounding them, there was a single flicker: a shadow, where there should only have been light.
It was enough for Tifa to shove Aerith back. And that was enough to place her in the path of a blade she recognized all too well when it sliced through her stomach from front to back.
Masamune. Seeing it embedded into her flesh once again felt unreal, but she was already struggling to pull in breath. Not a dream then, not a nightmare.
This...this was something she might never wake up from.
IN CONCLUSION: I think I am pretty much going about this chapter all wrong and am just now contemplating doing the final chapter as a sort of round of sleeping scenes...especially since I for some reason want to write about Aerith in the Sleeping Forest on her own. Even though no one else is with her \o_o/ I have pretty much hit the wall for a while now on knowing what I want to do with this.
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-08-26 04:35 pm (UTC)And the fear of the sky was ridiculous, and it's not helped by the fact that CC does nothing to 1) explain where it's from or 2) show it being overcome by Aerith. It's just lazy writing about it being resolved (we only know it is because of original game) and it's just. argh. And sadly it's probably better they didn't show it being resolved because it would have been about ~how Zack influenced Aerith~ again /shoves him off a cliff look he's a SOLDIER he can survive that
To be honest though I just really like Aerith so I hate people trying to make all her traits from other people. Like there was a Tseng roleplayer who wanted Tseng to have essentially manipulated her into learning how to use a staff (because he wanted her to protect herself and he knew she wouldn't take it directly from him) and it's like OH SCREW THAT did everyone forget about her being street smart in the original game? She learned how to use a staff because she knew she could find herself in trouble. My sole concession to compilation in this case is that, going with CC leaving that wolf Angeal-copy with her, she first started practicing with him watching over her and he did sometimes help her out when she got in over her head actually now I'm amused at the mental image of him divebombing Reno or Tseng or both at least once to make them stop bothering her. But it's just. Argh. Like she wouldn't figure it out if it was from Tseng?? Like she couldn't have thought on her own "Hey, I keep finding myself in trouble, I want to be able to keep myself safe"? /ranty
(it... is a little unbelievable that Zack does seemingly suffer everything with no ill-effects. I think Scribbler came the closest to having Zack actually start crumbling, but even then Aeris was able to help him. But he's usually shown to be completely mentally balanced and unaffected by the process. I get the impression there are others I just haven't run across them yet)
I think this might be more a thing in LJ/DWRP, or that it might be the way it pops up in fics it's not really registering as a serious issue? Like in the rp with Zack/Cloud/Aerith Zack was, most of the time, the level-headed and emotionally open one. Cloud was the problem child, and Aerith caused one or two incidents with the guys wanting to protect her and her trying to protect THEM by outright cutting them out of the loop, and Zack was pretty much the one who teamed up with whichever of them was still being reasonable to either cajole the current drama queen into calming down or scold them or--whatever was going on, he pretty much got set on fixing it. But he did have incidents where he got weird; there was at least one time he got so upset remembering something from the labs that he outright left for the bar because he couldn't talk to Cloud about it at all (I'm pretty sure there were others too, but some of this was before I started with Aerith/a long time ago anyway), and toward the end of my run (so sadly this issue did not quite get resolved, I wasn't sure how to proceed in it) he was affected by an event of the roleplay that caused people to have hallucinations and he outright broke things like walls when he was made to hallucinate being trapped in the labs again. Once he snapped out of it he went straight back to peppy and cheerful, sheepishly laughing off the incident...until Cloud called him out on hiding his feelings with a smile, and then he snapped at Cloud. And there was a long conversation with all of this and toward the end Cloud realized that with Zack being so dead set on protecting him from his memories of the labs, he wouldn't be able to get him to open up on this, so Cloud discreetly asked Aerith to help Zack because they were both really worried about how strong Zack's reaction had been and that Zack was basically not allowing himself to be upset about things that he had good reason to be upset about (and Aerith did try to get him to open up at least one time after this, but... :/ well, I flopped in rp activity a short while after). And I know other players played it in a way like this too; like, honestly, I remember player commentary on the state of Zack's mind post-labs because it usually came off as funny in a sad way (player commentary: "Oh right Zack you just go sleep off years of mental/emotional/physical abuse" "are you saying his tried-and-true method hasn't worked and kept him sane all this time, HMMM" "Zack's not sane. He's just not destructive in his insanity." "...Point." Or like in another game the FFVII crew was looking at the Ultimania timeline which gives nine months for Zack and Cloud being on the run, which I actually think is pretty reasonable, but they found weird compared to the game timeline (also understandable), but also just. Given that length of time, they pretty much agreed that Zack was the BEST NURSE EVER and MOST AWESOME FRIEND for believing Cloud could hear him that entire time, and also probably a little off-kilter and emotionally dependent on Cloud's survival and would have fallen apart if Cloud had died, which is the premise of at least one fic floating around out there...). Like, I wouldn't expect Zack to flip out the same way Sephiroth or Dyne, violently, or even the way Cloud does, denying everything (although actually, I'd probably be willing to buy him having some kind of break from reality in a fic if even more stuff happened). But I can definitely see him having emotional issues and just plain being worn ragged and clinging to a smile even when he should be able to admit that nothing is okay at the moment.
There have been some fic/rp takes that go too far to the dysfunctional extreme with it (again, he DID get himself and Cloud across continents--there was an RP Zack who literally would lose himself in memories and sit in acid rain and that was just "uh...") but I do think CC's take on it is really idealized too/skims over possibilities that might have been interesting.
Well, I think your friend is pretty right with the HOW IMPORTANT IS ZACK thing. I was actually thinking about the Zack/Tifa last night and it being pretty much crack because what was supposed to attract them to each other? and remembered that I have seen serious arguments for it but they're usually...anti-Cloud/Tifa and vaguely anti-Tifa OR anti-Cloud for their reasoning... which is that given her desire for a SOLDIER to protect her and her seeming most impressed with the SOLDIER!Cloud (from some conversations, like her being proud of him for getting in), Zack would be what she really wants (which...ignores the fact that she's okay with Cloud as he really is) and would be best for her given her frustrations with Cloud (...CoT did not really help there). So then this usually comes off as putting down either Cloud or Tifa, either Cloud for not meeting her expectations or vaguely Tifa for having unrealistic expectations that fit only a really idealized person (with this take usually also painting Zack as something of a Gary Stu). And... yeah. Zack/Tifa is occasionally fun as "these two look hot together" but trying to make it work in the canon pretty much just leads to sketchiness as far as I've seen.
heoih I don't even like Maiden I get so annoyed at the "thoughtlessly selling flowers" line orz
And I do still read people saying that Aeris is still getting over Zack in VII, which feels a remarkably long time to do so; five years with no contact for a relationship which was never depicted as especially intense (I do get the sense I overlook emotional intensity as that also seems to be a main-stay of the CC defenders, but it feels off for the relationship to be apparently that strong when Aeris and Zack haven't even kissed, let alone been especially intimate by all canon accounts. There is a lot of repetition that they can be passionate without much physical contact/sex and its also regularly applied to Cloud and Tifa as well. It has a kind of invented feel to it, this passion/feelings we can't directly see or have conveyed to us are vital to arguments - and soooo much of that is right out of the Ultimanias as well!).
I HAVE TO ADMIT I was a little confused when I first read this because I've been pretty much reading the Cloud/Aerith sex fic as Aerith still getting over Zack? Although you're probably talking about the intensity off her feelings about Zack/how much progress she does/doesn't make in getting over him--because I do think she is getting over him myself, but I also think it's not so much the end of the relationship itself as that, going by Crisis Core's ending/the parallel of Elmyra's husband coming back to see her and dying and Aerith hearing this in OGC, she heard Zack die and she still cared about him so that was a big shock for her (especially if as in CC he'd hoped to see her and she heard that). But saying she didn't get over him at all so can't love Cloud is my "lol NOPE" point.
It is kind of weird though that for how strong Zack/Aerith or Cloud/Tifa or heck, even Cloud/Aerith is supposed to be, we...don't really see intimacy between them. Cloud and Tifa have a clear distance in the children's room the whole time, their only contact is when Cloud is holding her protectively or she's helping him get to Bahamut (which, yay, team-building exercise). Then Cloud/Aerith is similar, he holds her protectively (or to bury her :( ) and getting to Bahamut
but hey they also have the moment of standing back to back and her touching his arm. yes I do like that.Both Cloud/Aerith and Cloud/Tifa in the original game has moments of them leaning by/sitting close to Cloud. And then Zack/Aerith probably has the most touching going on (Zack tying Aerith's ribbon, her playfully shoving him, the hug after Angeal's death) but even that's like... okay two of these examples are from before them going steady and the third is an example of comfort and yeah it is really hard to think of anything that is just WE ARE TOUCHING EACH OTHER BECAUSE WE WANT TO TOUCH EACH OTHER ~IN LOVE~. Except the girls' original game gestures and that is hilarious considering they were all blocky legos then....I have not seen enough of the Simpsons, I never realized there was a fake Skinner/real Skinner thing going on. XD
I definitely think the FFVII fandom has had more TIME to calm down, both fandoms are about the same age but Harry Potter's built up through subsequent releases while Compilation was a bit more rocky (no new English releases until AC in 200...5, I think? flops in the form of Dirge, not nearly as many things going on, broken fanbase) so I think part of it is the LTD not being as vehement. But also probably that, yeah, while Cloud has a lot of potential ships it's only ever been two warring for 'legitimacy', meanwhile Harry people got plenty ideas about different things of how they thought he'd end up... Also Harry/Ginny was really suggested in the first book Ginny appeared in; she had a massive crush on him. It's just that Harry didn't come to reciprocate until late on, but I don't think it's surprising that some people would have been shipping it in since the Chamber of Secrets (and then they were probably feeling very smug by the end...)