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raajActually this time I'm not really upset about anything I've written. It's that what I've written isn't yet fitting into a cohesive thing. I can't seem to get a handle on what the driving points for these parts are, and as a result I'm pretty much getting to the point where I can't even make myself write more for it: I tweak stuff, rearrange sections, and... so little is actually properly complete as a scene or transitioning into each other because I don't know what scenes I even want to keep (this is way too long considering no scene in here is actually all the way complete). So yeah, warning, this is seriously messy to read.
Kind of debating just posting the first chapter as its own standalone and leaving the rest, well, alone. I like the idea of the story, it's the telling I can't figure out.
To start off with, HERE IS A BIT I CAN ACTUALLY CONSIDER COMPLETE even if I don't know it'll appear in the final draft of the story. (In fact it almost seems like with a bit of editing it could probably be its own thing as Tifa introspection.)
Cloud tells her, Aerith sent him a dream. That's how he knew she's headed for the City of the Ancients.
It doesn't hurt. Not harshly. The thought just sits there in Tifa's mind, lacking the good grace to know it's long overstayed its welcome.
A dream of peace and a promise. It sounds like something from a fairy tale, a more ethereal romance. It tempts a daydreamer to believe in soulmates—which, to be honest, Tifa never really has before. Cloud was her sweetheart always, her soulmate never. There is a connection, an understanding implied in 'soulmates' that she has never been able to pretend to with the blond, whose blue eyes hide thoughts she can't fathom. Even when they were both kids, he was hard to understand. She remembers that. It's getting harder to remember anything else about their friendship now.
If she had been made to claim anyone on this Planet as her soulmate...she thinks she would have said Aerith, the beautiful woman with hopeful green eyes. They had clicked so quickly, always breaking off from the others to do something together or teaming up when someone stubborn needed convincing, often without words. But--
But Aerith sent Cloud the dream. And for Tifa, there had only been a lie and excuse about why and where she was going out. "Stretching my legs!" Right. Aerith was stretching her legs across two continents.
Tifa understands well enough why she was lied to. Oh, she disagrees with it, but she understands. She would have stopped Aerith, she would have insisted on coming along, and even in the dream (as Cloud says, since she didn't have it) her friend didn't want to be followed. Rationally, it makes sense why Aerith carried things out the way she did, wanting what she did, even if Tifa Lockhart chafes at being kept away. So it doesn't hurt, not harshly.
But it still stings. That she was lied to. That Cloud got a proper explanation in their dream. Heh, "their" dream. If two people can share a dream, they really are connected, aren't they? In a bond that space and distance itself can't stretch out to fray.
Tifa had already known that night in Gold Saucer that she was going to get left behind. Once Aerith had made up her mind to pursue Cloud... Tifa hadn't even been able to choose then, or now, which one she loved more, which one she should confess to, and they'd been drawing ever steadily closer to each other. But to think, she'd been worried about something as ordinary as them kissing, when as it just so happened Aerith could touch Cloud's soul halfway around the world.
Had she ever stood a chance in this little love triangle?
So that's that. And then, backtracking a bit, here is the odds and ends and I swear I just cannot write anything long.
Aerith slept. Tifa didn't, keeping watch over her when she wasn't fretting over Cloud. He was dead to the world; wouldn't wake. But then, it was a near unanimous sentiment to let him take his time on that account. On the other hand Aerith needed to be woken up, every couple of hours, to make sure the concussion wasn't affecting her—it was never easy to tell with those if restorative materia had fully done the job. The smallness of Gongaga's inn meant a short patrol for Tifa as she paced between the two beds opposite each other in the tiny circular room, trying to count down the time and weighing counter impulses between letting Aerith recover from her exhaustion and wanting to make sure she would still wake, as well as to see if she might be able to explain any more of just what had happened in the pit that had been the Temple's foundation. One or two of the other members of their party were always in the inn as well, but the whole nine-man team was simply too big for the establishment, and after some discussion (and arguing, and uncertain looks that had hurt with their aim), they were mostly split up throughout the town. Gathering supplies and trying to figure out their next move, ostensibly.
Playing a waiting game as they wondered if the world might really come to an end.
The first time Aerith was carefully shook awake, she'd immediately spoken Cloud's name as a question, turning her head sharply to try catching sight of him. When she spotted him, the relieved sigh that passed her lips almost hurt to hear. "He's here, yeah," Tifa said needlessly. "We're back in Gongaga."
"He hasn't woken up?"
"No." The concern in Aerith's faint voice was heartening and frustrating all at once. If she was worried for Cloud even now, did she really not blame him? Tifa was glad for that, but she wanted to know why, so everyone could be reassured. …So she could be okay with the fact that Aerith was still bruised and disheveled from an assault that could have killed her, and already forgiving. "Aerith, do you think you can stay awake for a little while? We still don't know what happened down there…what happened to you and Cloud. And the Black Materia is…"
Tifa was already bracing herself as her friend's face grew dark and pinched, upset. The flower girl broke her gaze from their still-sleeping friend to answer: "Sephiroth has it."
A curse floated from the doorway; of course Cid was listening. Vincent surely was too, if more controlled in his reactions. After she'd carried Aerith out of the pit, Barret after her hauling Cloud like a sack of potatoes, Nanaki and Cait Sith had called up that they couldn't find the Black Materia in the pit. Tifa and Barret had each done a quick check of their unconscious passengers, but the materia seemed to have vanished. Immediately the gunman had yelled down demanding if this wasn't another fast one being pulled by Shinra, but Cait Sith was adamant that he'd done nothing fishy in the few minutes he'd been down in the pit—as though Nanaki's sharp eyes and hearing wouldn't have caught him out; they could check him too if they wanted! And it was testament to the tension running through the group that even with everyone aware of how unlikely the possibility was, Vincent actually did check the robot, just to put the nail in that coffin and lay it to rest. The narrow window of circumstance left a short list of suspects, and Sephiroth's name had topped it as the group remembered his strange movements, how he could have slipped past even the most careful watch. Tifa's heart still knotted like a noose to hear it confirmed.
"Then he's going to summon Meteor." And Nanaki's explanation of Sephiroth's plan for that particular spell had been chilling: if there was any truth in it, they were all in big trouble. If it was all true… the world really could come to an end.
"We still have time. He needs the Promised Land…" Aerith drifted off to silence, staring over Tifa's shoulder at what the fighter knew was just the brick wall of the hut; the room's entrance was on her other side.
"Aerith?"
Now she was looking at the door. And then the injured woman was trying to push herself off the bed. Even before her bruises made her stop short with a wince, Tifa was up on her feet, holding one hand out to stop her friend.
"No way. You need to rest."
"But, the Planet—"
"You said we still have time, right? So take a rest. You could tell me what it's saying." Not that Tifa really knew what to make of talking to the Planet; the only spirits she'd ever worked with were the alcoholic kind. But it was evident Aerith had talked to something in the temple…and even if she was the only who could hear it, that didn't mean others couldn't help her do whatever was needed, right?
There was so much tension knotted up in the brawler's limbs. She would have raced out and done just about anything, anything the Planet could ask, if it would fix this situation. If it would guarantee Cloud's eyes opening with clarity and calm, if it would mean Aerith could rest, if it would make everyone safe.
"I… I don't know. It's not clear," the Ancient admitted falteringly, sinking the hope of such a simple fix.
Tifa let out a slow breath. "Then we can't do anything yet. We need some sort of plan."
She had the strength to be firm, especially when the other woman's eyes were still murky with exhaustion; if Aerith wouldn't worry about herself, someone needed to. In the end the woman agreed to lie back down, 'for a little bit', and almost immediately slipped back into sleep. Tifa adjusted the pillow under the woman's head and fretted with the edges of her blanket, as her hands lacked anything better to do.
Cid summed up the situation: "Well, fuck!"
Cloud continued to sleep, and Tifa wondered, as she seemed to have countless times since finding him, what exactly was on his mind. Had he fully realized the trouble they were now in? Was that why had he snapped?
There still wasn't anything they could do, and it was starting to drive her mad.
Hours passed before Aerith was woken up again. The exhaustion in her eyes had turned into sadness. "Everyone's hurting."
That hit a little too close to home with how tense the group was, and Tifa shook her head. "What do you mean?"
"…Screaming…"
Tifa pursed her lips, sitting down by the side of the bed. Obviously her friend hadn't gotten the hoped-for restful sleep. "...Nanaki never heard Cloud scream."
"Ah?" Aerith's eyes flicked up to the ceiling without focusing on it. "...Oh." Her hands clasped gently under her chest, beginning to rise and fall with her breath. She closed her eyes for just a few seconds, and by the time Tifa recognized she might be praying--it was a gesture seen so rarely nowadays--her eyes were already open again. "No. I suppose he wouldn't have."
"I don't get it. What does that even mean? You were just hearing the Planet? But you sounded so sure he was hurt," Tifa blurted out, and almost winced at her pleading. But Aerith probably understood. She was concerned for Cloud too.
"I know what Cloud sounds like," Aerith said. Her voice was firm. "I've been listening, and watching, for him. For a while now. But I didn't know what to make of it."
Paying attention to Cloud? Tifa wasn't surprised, not after that night at the Gold Saucer, but that sting of petty jealousy was so slight at the moment. "Didn't know what to make of it?"
The other woman actually looked timid for a split-second, like she wanted to swallow back the very words she was clearly mulling over. "I thought... you would have said if something was really wrong with Cloud. You know him best of all of us."
For a moment, Tifa didn't react at all, her face slack at the unexpected statement. Aerith saw something wrong with Cloud too? So it wasn't just her... and then her cheeks colored at the implication she should have said something. And what would she have said? All she would have done was cast doubt on Cloud when she wasn't even sure he was the one wrong.
But any anger Tifa felt over the issue was pierced by the reality of where they were and where she'd wanted to be. Aerith herself had been laid up in bed by whatever was wrong with Cloud, and he was unconscious. Everyone was worried, even if they wouldn't show it. Would things be different if she'd said there was something off...? Tifa really had wanted to confide in someone all along. She'd wanted to confide in Aerith, she'd thought about it herself so many times, but the occasion had never been right.
No...she'd just never stopped being scared that the moment she admitted doubt in Cloud, she'd lose him again.
Aerith took in her silence and slowly nodded. "It's all right, Tifa. I could have said something too. It's pretty complicated, I guess... no, I know it is."
**
It was late in the night now since they'd gotten back from the temple. Tifa's body was already tired from travel and the scant sleep from the night before. She tried sitting down but the hard floors of the Gongaga Inn borne from poverty in the village made uncomfortable seating, little chance of resting on them. She found herself staring enviously at the beds. It was...those were the only way she could rest and be by Aerith and Cloud. Surely Aerith would not begrudge sharing the bed, right? Even after thinking it, and convincing herself of the truth of that thought, it still took Tifa a whole ten minutes to creep into the bed. She halted when Aerith's dark green eyes opened at her, but before she could apologize she realized there was no confusion or objection in them.
Aerith's hand lighted on her arm and tugged insistently. Tifa had to shift more and more into the bed, lying down beside her friend who curled in to nestle close. The girl's eyes were already closing again, but still Tifa wrapped one protective arm over her.
"It'll be all right," Tifa said quietly. "We're strong. We can get through this." Words she needed someone to say to her, words she knew Aerith needed to hear herself. It had to hurt, hearing the screams of a Planet. The screams of a friend as he was forced to betray. But Aerith was strong, stronger than her, smiling so often when there was little reason to. And she would shield Aerith, as much as possible.
She curled into Aerith, her head resting against the other girl's collarbone, thinking Aerith must be able to feel the lie of false confidence when she had to resist the urge to cling for dear life.
After a peaceful sleep that was too brief, that resistance failed when she felt the other woman pulling out from beneath her grasp; stuck between Tifa and the wall on each side, Aerith had decided instead to scoot downward along the bed and ease herself off its foot, slipping from beneath Tifa's arm. But Tifa's fingers tightened on her before the woman was fully out. "Aerith? Where are you going?"
"For a walk," Aerith said. "How long have I been asleep? It was much too long."
"No it wasn't. It was only..." Tifa was the one muddled by sleep now; she could tell Aerith how long she'd been asleep before being joined on the bed, but she had no idea of any track of time after that--the windowless state of the room definitely didn't help with that. She was so exhausted, her body's clock thoroughly out of sync, that it could have been morning, midnight, afternoon, how would she know?
She'd see outside. They were going on a walk. She pushed herself upright, trying to blink sleep from her eyes, but before she could swing up onto her feet there was a hand at her shoulder.
"Oh, Tifa. What are you doing?"
"I'll go with..."
"You've been watching over us this whole time, haven't you? You look so exhausted I feel like yawning all over again looking at you. Let yourself rest, Tifa."
Sleep did sound good. Really, really good—especially when the mere mention of yawning was suggestive enough for her traitorous mouth to do just that as soon as she opened it. "D...don't...go far. Everyone's been worried about you."
"I'll be back soon."
Tifa nodded, accepting her friend's word; though rather than lay back down, she dragged a bit of the blanket around her shoulders, feeling its extra warmth from body heat, and tracked Aerith blearily as she passed Yuffie with a smile and a blithe remark about needing to stretch her legs. She...did seem okay on her feet. Direct, not disoriented. So her concussion was truly healed then, a blessed reassurance. And she'd be back soon. Tifa wanted to wait for her to come back, but all too soon exhaustion pulled the caretaker back down into a blank, silent sleep.
"Tifa."
The body heat had dissipated. There was cold metal on her shoulder that made her fidget until realizing it was Vincent's metal claw resting on her, and then she jumped again because Vincent was never inclined to disturb others except for watch duty. "Wha, wha--is it my turn?" Were they taking turns here? She hadn't even thought to ask before.
Vincent ignored the question for the sleep-addled nonsense it was, instead crouching down slightly in front of the bed to meet her eyes. "Did Aerith tell you where she would be?"
"Out for a walk…she should be back soon."
His pale face was impassive. "She told Yuffie the same, but her 'walk' has been nearly four hours now."
Oh, God. She hadn't been well after all; she was probably collapsed in a faint somewhere. "We have to look for her—"
"We began searching two hours ago. She's not in the village," the former Turk summed up precisely, and Tifa felt both foolish and more frightened. Of course the others would have realized before now that something was wrong. Aerith could be easily distracted during her ventures, talk with locals turning "fifteen minutes" into "an hour" when the group was resting somewhere, but she was reliable when things got serious. Right now, they were dire. "We've begun sweeping the jungle… but it seemed prudent to check if she had said any more to you."
"No. She said she'd be right back… I don't understand. What could have happened?" The blanket's fabric became security as Tifa clutched it closer to her shoulders. "…We shouldn't have stopped here. Not after the last time. If Shinra took her—do you think she could have been?"
She was worrying now, openly fretting, and anyone else probably would have told her to calm down. At the moment, she was glad Vincent was the way he was, and willing to consider such possibilities. It still only took him a few seconds to shake his head. "There would have been a struggle. No one has seen or heard any evidence of that. I would say, more than likely… she's left of her own accord. Perhaps she finally made out what the Planet was telling her."
"You believe her, don't you, Vincent?"
"I've seen too much to be skeptical of such a claim." He straightened up. "We'll keep looking."
Tifa gritted her teeth, her hands folding up into fists. Damn it, why had her friend lied to her?! She wouldn't have stopped Aerith from going; she would have gone with, and kept an eye on her... someone else could watch Cloud, he was just sleeping, and he'd probably be okay, he hadn't even been injured, concerning as the assault on Aerith was.
**
When Cloud let out a soft moan, Tifa stopped still in her tracks, turning to him. Barret was also sharp at attention--enough to catch Tifa by the shoulder when the moaning continued and she started to approach Cloud, to wake him from the apparent nightmare.
Remembering what had happened when she'd shared a tent with Cloud near this town, she was glad for Barret's mindfulness. It was much too likely that he'd come back swinging, just as he'd gone out. It was already obvious as his jaw clenched and his fingers twitched that he was struggling against the dream.
"No...no! Come back!"
The next moment, Cloud's eyes opened, and they focused narrowly on Barret and Tifa. Clarity and calm were what she'd hoped would grace his expression, but he was wild-eyed and face twisted up, looking horrified.
He was aware, though. It was apparent by just how quickly his face settled again into something more controlled, even if his eyes still betrayed upset.
"You looked like you was havin' a nightmare," Barret told him. "How are you feeling?"
The first look Cloud gave him could easily have been interpreted as 'no shit', flat as it was. But the question seemed to be the final push he needed to get himself fully back to normal, blinking the last remnants of a restless sleep away: "...I seem to be okay now."
"That's good. For a while there I wasn't sure how things were going."
What were they talking like this for? Tifa knew Cloud, she knew Barret knew him--he wasn't going to spill his heart over a nightmare. "Cloud, Aerith is missing."
So they had to go now. He was awake, he was aware, he was probably shook up about what had happened because they all had been but for god's sake, Aerith was missing. She could be killed. They had to find her straight away.
She wasn't expecting Cloud to actually know where Aerith was.
"...City of the Ancients. Aerith is headed there."
That--sounded familiar, though Tifa couldn't quite place it. The answer sure got Barret in a fury, though, and Tifa immediately guessed: it was far, dangeous, or both. Well, it wasn't like the Temple of the Ancients had been easily accessible either.
"By herself?! Why'd she go by herself? Hey, we're going, too."
"Only the Ancients, only Aerith can save us from Meteor..."
"Then we MUST go," Tifa said, growing nervous. Cloud didn't sound like himself. Because really, any time Aerith was in danger or doing something that might be dangerous, he was there to be overly sensible. Sometimes annoyingly so, depending on how he phrased his objection. "What'll we do if something happens to Aerith? If Sephiroth finds her, she's in trouble."
Cloud didn't exactly freeze on the bed; he hadn't been moving in the first place. But movement became even more unlikely in that moment, with his eyes staying fastened toward the ground. "Sephiroth... already knows."
"Hey! Why are you still sitting around?" Barret demanded.
Exactly what Tifa had wanted to say, so she didn't reiterate it, upset as she was. They just needed to get moving. Before Aerith was taken from them. "Let's go, Cloud."
Something inside her crumpled when he did, folding in on himself on the bed and cradling his head like it could break. "No… I'm afraid. If this keeps up, I might go crazy! I'm afraid…"
Afraid he might be the one to hurt her? Was he really that unstable?
**
The point where it gets EVEN MESSIER TO READ because haha writing:
Cloud wanted to be by Tifa, as much as he wanted to be by anyone at all. He still didn't have a good explanation for his actions in the pit of the once Temple and it scared him. He'd wanted Aerith to--tell me who I am--but she hadn't, couldn't. She had to go save the world. That sense of goodness that radiated from her eyes, like they were reflecting something only she could perceive in him, quickly vanished. It had felt like there was no way he could do anything for her.
Tifa and Barret had quickly raged at him, promises of knocks upside the head and quiet pleas that they must go save Aerith getting him back up on his feet, and once there... yeah, he was annoyed with himself too. He had been a SOLDIER. He wasn't going to fail her by doing nothing.
Still...it...scared him, the moment the world had slipped out of focus and he had practically been outside his body, watching himself hand over the materia. He'd screamed at himself, tried to hold his own body back, but in the end nothing had worked; the materia had been handed over to Sephiroth.
And then... then...
He'd beaten Aerith. Tifa had told him, with a pinched, unhappy face, that that was the reason he now had jagged claw marks over the back of his left shoulder: he'd been beating Aerith, and after Nanaki had failed to get any response by yelling at him the feline had pounced on him to bring him to the ground.
Cloud barely remembered any yelling under the heavy tinnitus ringing not in his ears but in his head; but Tifa was honest. So the only thing to do had been thank Nanaki--quickly, without fuss, but it needed to be said.
'You did the right thing. If I'm a threat, take me out.'
Nanaki's actions, Barret's words...yes, he knew he could trust in his party if he went wild. But...
But he wasn't really sure...if a second time would find him coming back to normal. It felt like he was unraveling, and badly. It scared him. Like he was weaving offstep--he just didn't want to go crazy like that again.
So...so he was gravitating to Tifa. Even though she was looking away from him. It's because he's letting down her best friend. He understands that, so he's not angry, but he's just... something inside him is aching. He needed Aerith to tell him who he was, but she wouldn't. And Tifa's always, always had the answers, always been willing to take care of people, so maybe she would--if he could just get her to look at him.
What he does is sit down on the bed at the same moment she does. Their backs bump into each other and she sucks a breath in, jerking back up. "Cloud--"
Barret is giving him a look that promises so much shit if he even breathes on her wrong, but the man soon looks away. Cloud's not sure if it's because Barret knows him better than that now, or if he knows Tifa would kick his ass herself if it needed beating, or if his face is saying too much about how he feels.
It'd be just perfect if his face is saying too much when he can't even get his mouth to work.
"I wanted to talk to you," he murmurs to Tifa.
**
((...Also that is like three different attempts at that scene spliced together just now. So pretty much everything I've done with this fic lately was just "Oh, I think I have an idea. No, I don't know how to make the idea work. Let's try this. Now I'm frustrated. Let's try something else. LET'S GO BACK TO THIS...))
**
Her fingers twitched before clasping around cloud's bicep. "Cloud."
He looked at her with confusion. She knew her request was one that would throw him for a loop.
"Let me go up to Aerith first," she whispered. Because she could protect Aerith too, because she wanted to. She wanted to protect Cloud.
He nodded, though with uncertainty in his eyes, and she strode toward the first pillar and took a short leap up to it. She wondered if originally they'd been closer, or had more pillars in between--they weren't level but slightly crooked beneath her feet, leading to the guess that they'd been disturbed at one point.
And yet, still, she passed with little enough noise. Aerith did not stir one bit, which made Tifa grit her teeth. They had been so worried about her... shouldn't she at least acknowledge them? But the woman continued to keep her head bowed, hands clasped.
...Perhaps, then, she was communicating to someone. Probably the Planet. After sharing dreams with Cloud, Aerith wouldn't exactly be pulling a surprise by communicating to the Planet by prayer. So this was what she'd left them behind for.
A cut-off sound pulled her attention back for just a moment. Cloud had started toward the pillar, only for Barret to immediately grab his shoulder. He wanted to see Aerith, so it shouldn't have been a surprise to anyone...but it seemed to be a surprise to himself. His eyes were a touch wide, mouth working fruitlessly for a second before he closed it and shook his head.
Tifa wasn't sure if she wanted to know, not when they were so close to having Aerith back, so she crossed the final pillar into the threshold of the altar.
Aerith was still in prayer. Tifa wanted to shake her out of it and one hand rose to do that, but she just--couldn't. Aerith had come here to pray, so she needed to do that, obviously. She was the one saving the world, and just watching her... Tifa wasn't sure if it was the angle of her brow or the curve of her shoulders in prayer, but somehow she could see Aerith was pouring her whole heart into that.
Finally, green eyes opened, and Aerith immediately smiled at Tifa. It was the warmth of that gesture and the sure sign of hope behind it--Aerith was done praying and she was happy, it must mean something good--that let the tension ease out of the brawler's muscles, even as she caught herself and resolved that she wanted to tell the other woman how she felt about that little vanishing trick back in Gongaga.
"Aerith, we were so worried--"
In the glass surrounding them, there was a single flicker: a shadow, where there should only have been light.
It was enough for Tifa to shove Aerith back. And that was enough to place her in the path of a blade she recognized all too well when it sliced through her stomach from front to back.
Masamune. Seeing it embedded into her flesh once again felt unreal, but she was already struggling to pull in breath. Not a dream then, not a nightmare.
This...this was something she might never wake up from.
IN CONCLUSION: I think I am pretty much going about this chapter all wrong and am just now contemplating doing the final chapter as a sort of round of sleeping scenes...especially since I for some reason want to write about Aerith in the Sleeping Forest on her own. Even though no one else is with her \o_o/ I have pretty much hit the wall for a while now on knowing what I want to do with this.
Kind of debating just posting the first chapter as its own standalone and leaving the rest, well, alone. I like the idea of the story, it's the telling I can't figure out.
To start off with, HERE IS A BIT I CAN ACTUALLY CONSIDER COMPLETE even if I don't know it'll appear in the final draft of the story. (In fact it almost seems like with a bit of editing it could probably be its own thing as Tifa introspection.)
Cloud tells her, Aerith sent him a dream. That's how he knew she's headed for the City of the Ancients.
It doesn't hurt. Not harshly. The thought just sits there in Tifa's mind, lacking the good grace to know it's long overstayed its welcome.
A dream of peace and a promise. It sounds like something from a fairy tale, a more ethereal romance. It tempts a daydreamer to believe in soulmates—which, to be honest, Tifa never really has before. Cloud was her sweetheart always, her soulmate never. There is a connection, an understanding implied in 'soulmates' that she has never been able to pretend to with the blond, whose blue eyes hide thoughts she can't fathom. Even when they were both kids, he was hard to understand. She remembers that. It's getting harder to remember anything else about their friendship now.
If she had been made to claim anyone on this Planet as her soulmate...she thinks she would have said Aerith, the beautiful woman with hopeful green eyes. They had clicked so quickly, always breaking off from the others to do something together or teaming up when someone stubborn needed convincing, often without words. But--
But Aerith sent Cloud the dream. And for Tifa, there had only been a lie and excuse about why and where she was going out. "Stretching my legs!" Right. Aerith was stretching her legs across two continents.
Tifa understands well enough why she was lied to. Oh, she disagrees with it, but she understands. She would have stopped Aerith, she would have insisted on coming along, and even in the dream (as Cloud says, since she didn't have it) her friend didn't want to be followed. Rationally, it makes sense why Aerith carried things out the way she did, wanting what she did, even if Tifa Lockhart chafes at being kept away. So it doesn't hurt, not harshly.
But it still stings. That she was lied to. That Cloud got a proper explanation in their dream. Heh, "their" dream. If two people can share a dream, they really are connected, aren't they? In a bond that space and distance itself can't stretch out to fray.
Tifa had already known that night in Gold Saucer that she was going to get left behind. Once Aerith had made up her mind to pursue Cloud... Tifa hadn't even been able to choose then, or now, which one she loved more, which one she should confess to, and they'd been drawing ever steadily closer to each other. But to think, she'd been worried about something as ordinary as them kissing, when as it just so happened Aerith could touch Cloud's soul halfway around the world.
Had she ever stood a chance in this little love triangle?
So that's that. And then, backtracking a bit, here is the odds and ends and I swear I just cannot write anything long.
Aerith slept. Tifa didn't, keeping watch over her when she wasn't fretting over Cloud. He was dead to the world; wouldn't wake. But then, it was a near unanimous sentiment to let him take his time on that account. On the other hand Aerith needed to be woken up, every couple of hours, to make sure the concussion wasn't affecting her—it was never easy to tell with those if restorative materia had fully done the job. The smallness of Gongaga's inn meant a short patrol for Tifa as she paced between the two beds opposite each other in the tiny circular room, trying to count down the time and weighing counter impulses between letting Aerith recover from her exhaustion and wanting to make sure she would still wake, as well as to see if she might be able to explain any more of just what had happened in the pit that had been the Temple's foundation. One or two of the other members of their party were always in the inn as well, but the whole nine-man team was simply too big for the establishment, and after some discussion (and arguing, and uncertain looks that had hurt with their aim), they were mostly split up throughout the town. Gathering supplies and trying to figure out their next move, ostensibly.
Playing a waiting game as they wondered if the world might really come to an end.
The first time Aerith was carefully shook awake, she'd immediately spoken Cloud's name as a question, turning her head sharply to try catching sight of him. When she spotted him, the relieved sigh that passed her lips almost hurt to hear. "He's here, yeah," Tifa said needlessly. "We're back in Gongaga."
"He hasn't woken up?"
"No." The concern in Aerith's faint voice was heartening and frustrating all at once. If she was worried for Cloud even now, did she really not blame him? Tifa was glad for that, but she wanted to know why, so everyone could be reassured. …So she could be okay with the fact that Aerith was still bruised and disheveled from an assault that could have killed her, and already forgiving. "Aerith, do you think you can stay awake for a little while? We still don't know what happened down there…what happened to you and Cloud. And the Black Materia is…"
Tifa was already bracing herself as her friend's face grew dark and pinched, upset. The flower girl broke her gaze from their still-sleeping friend to answer: "Sephiroth has it."
A curse floated from the doorway; of course Cid was listening. Vincent surely was too, if more controlled in his reactions. After she'd carried Aerith out of the pit, Barret after her hauling Cloud like a sack of potatoes, Nanaki and Cait Sith had called up that they couldn't find the Black Materia in the pit. Tifa and Barret had each done a quick check of their unconscious passengers, but the materia seemed to have vanished. Immediately the gunman had yelled down demanding if this wasn't another fast one being pulled by Shinra, but Cait Sith was adamant that he'd done nothing fishy in the few minutes he'd been down in the pit—as though Nanaki's sharp eyes and hearing wouldn't have caught him out; they could check him too if they wanted! And it was testament to the tension running through the group that even with everyone aware of how unlikely the possibility was, Vincent actually did check the robot, just to put the nail in that coffin and lay it to rest. The narrow window of circumstance left a short list of suspects, and Sephiroth's name had topped it as the group remembered his strange movements, how he could have slipped past even the most careful watch. Tifa's heart still knotted like a noose to hear it confirmed.
"Then he's going to summon Meteor." And Nanaki's explanation of Sephiroth's plan for that particular spell had been chilling: if there was any truth in it, they were all in big trouble. If it was all true… the world really could come to an end.
"We still have time. He needs the Promised Land…" Aerith drifted off to silence, staring over Tifa's shoulder at what the fighter knew was just the brick wall of the hut; the room's entrance was on her other side.
"Aerith?"
Now she was looking at the door. And then the injured woman was trying to push herself off the bed. Even before her bruises made her stop short with a wince, Tifa was up on her feet, holding one hand out to stop her friend.
"No way. You need to rest."
"But, the Planet—"
"You said we still have time, right? So take a rest. You could tell me what it's saying." Not that Tifa really knew what to make of talking to the Planet; the only spirits she'd ever worked with were the alcoholic kind. But it was evident Aerith had talked to something in the temple…and even if she was the only who could hear it, that didn't mean others couldn't help her do whatever was needed, right?
There was so much tension knotted up in the brawler's limbs. She would have raced out and done just about anything, anything the Planet could ask, if it would fix this situation. If it would guarantee Cloud's eyes opening with clarity and calm, if it would mean Aerith could rest, if it would make everyone safe.
"I… I don't know. It's not clear," the Ancient admitted falteringly, sinking the hope of such a simple fix.
Tifa let out a slow breath. "Then we can't do anything yet. We need some sort of plan."
She had the strength to be firm, especially when the other woman's eyes were still murky with exhaustion; if Aerith wouldn't worry about herself, someone needed to. In the end the woman agreed to lie back down, 'for a little bit', and almost immediately slipped back into sleep. Tifa adjusted the pillow under the woman's head and fretted with the edges of her blanket, as her hands lacked anything better to do.
Cid summed up the situation: "Well, fuck!"
Cloud continued to sleep, and Tifa wondered, as she seemed to have countless times since finding him, what exactly was on his mind. Had he fully realized the trouble they were now in? Was that why had he snapped?
There still wasn't anything they could do, and it was starting to drive her mad.
Hours passed before Aerith was woken up again. The exhaustion in her eyes had turned into sadness. "Everyone's hurting."
That hit a little too close to home with how tense the group was, and Tifa shook her head. "What do you mean?"
"…Screaming…"
Tifa pursed her lips, sitting down by the side of the bed. Obviously her friend hadn't gotten the hoped-for restful sleep. "...Nanaki never heard Cloud scream."
"Ah?" Aerith's eyes flicked up to the ceiling without focusing on it. "...Oh." Her hands clasped gently under her chest, beginning to rise and fall with her breath. She closed her eyes for just a few seconds, and by the time Tifa recognized she might be praying--it was a gesture seen so rarely nowadays--her eyes were already open again. "No. I suppose he wouldn't have."
"I don't get it. What does that even mean? You were just hearing the Planet? But you sounded so sure he was hurt," Tifa blurted out, and almost winced at her pleading. But Aerith probably understood. She was concerned for Cloud too.
"I know what Cloud sounds like," Aerith said. Her voice was firm. "I've been listening, and watching, for him. For a while now. But I didn't know what to make of it."
Paying attention to Cloud? Tifa wasn't surprised, not after that night at the Gold Saucer, but that sting of petty jealousy was so slight at the moment. "Didn't know what to make of it?"
The other woman actually looked timid for a split-second, like she wanted to swallow back the very words she was clearly mulling over. "I thought... you would have said if something was really wrong with Cloud. You know him best of all of us."
For a moment, Tifa didn't react at all, her face slack at the unexpected statement. Aerith saw something wrong with Cloud too? So it wasn't just her... and then her cheeks colored at the implication she should have said something. And what would she have said? All she would have done was cast doubt on Cloud when she wasn't even sure he was the one wrong.
But any anger Tifa felt over the issue was pierced by the reality of where they were and where she'd wanted to be. Aerith herself had been laid up in bed by whatever was wrong with Cloud, and he was unconscious. Everyone was worried, even if they wouldn't show it. Would things be different if she'd said there was something off...? Tifa really had wanted to confide in someone all along. She'd wanted to confide in Aerith, she'd thought about it herself so many times, but the occasion had never been right.
No...she'd just never stopped being scared that the moment she admitted doubt in Cloud, she'd lose him again.
Aerith took in her silence and slowly nodded. "It's all right, Tifa. I could have said something too. It's pretty complicated, I guess... no, I know it is."
**
It was late in the night now since they'd gotten back from the temple. Tifa's body was already tired from travel and the scant sleep from the night before. She tried sitting down but the hard floors of the Gongaga Inn borne from poverty in the village made uncomfortable seating, little chance of resting on them. She found herself staring enviously at the beds. It was...those were the only way she could rest and be by Aerith and Cloud. Surely Aerith would not begrudge sharing the bed, right? Even after thinking it, and convincing herself of the truth of that thought, it still took Tifa a whole ten minutes to creep into the bed. She halted when Aerith's dark green eyes opened at her, but before she could apologize she realized there was no confusion or objection in them.
Aerith's hand lighted on her arm and tugged insistently. Tifa had to shift more and more into the bed, lying down beside her friend who curled in to nestle close. The girl's eyes were already closing again, but still Tifa wrapped one protective arm over her.
"It'll be all right," Tifa said quietly. "We're strong. We can get through this." Words she needed someone to say to her, words she knew Aerith needed to hear herself. It had to hurt, hearing the screams of a Planet. The screams of a friend as he was forced to betray. But Aerith was strong, stronger than her, smiling so often when there was little reason to. And she would shield Aerith, as much as possible.
She curled into Aerith, her head resting against the other girl's collarbone, thinking Aerith must be able to feel the lie of false confidence when she had to resist the urge to cling for dear life.
After a peaceful sleep that was too brief, that resistance failed when she felt the other woman pulling out from beneath her grasp; stuck between Tifa and the wall on each side, Aerith had decided instead to scoot downward along the bed and ease herself off its foot, slipping from beneath Tifa's arm. But Tifa's fingers tightened on her before the woman was fully out. "Aerith? Where are you going?"
"For a walk," Aerith said. "How long have I been asleep? It was much too long."
"No it wasn't. It was only..." Tifa was the one muddled by sleep now; she could tell Aerith how long she'd been asleep before being joined on the bed, but she had no idea of any track of time after that--the windowless state of the room definitely didn't help with that. She was so exhausted, her body's clock thoroughly out of sync, that it could have been morning, midnight, afternoon, how would she know?
She'd see outside. They were going on a walk. She pushed herself upright, trying to blink sleep from her eyes, but before she could swing up onto her feet there was a hand at her shoulder.
"Oh, Tifa. What are you doing?"
"I'll go with..."
"You've been watching over us this whole time, haven't you? You look so exhausted I feel like yawning all over again looking at you. Let yourself rest, Tifa."
Sleep did sound good. Really, really good—especially when the mere mention of yawning was suggestive enough for her traitorous mouth to do just that as soon as she opened it. "D...don't...go far. Everyone's been worried about you."
"I'll be back soon."
Tifa nodded, accepting her friend's word; though rather than lay back down, she dragged a bit of the blanket around her shoulders, feeling its extra warmth from body heat, and tracked Aerith blearily as she passed Yuffie with a smile and a blithe remark about needing to stretch her legs. She...did seem okay on her feet. Direct, not disoriented. So her concussion was truly healed then, a blessed reassurance. And she'd be back soon. Tifa wanted to wait for her to come back, but all too soon exhaustion pulled the caretaker back down into a blank, silent sleep.
"Tifa."
The body heat had dissipated. There was cold metal on her shoulder that made her fidget until realizing it was Vincent's metal claw resting on her, and then she jumped again because Vincent was never inclined to disturb others except for watch duty. "Wha, wha--is it my turn?" Were they taking turns here? She hadn't even thought to ask before.
Vincent ignored the question for the sleep-addled nonsense it was, instead crouching down slightly in front of the bed to meet her eyes. "Did Aerith tell you where she would be?"
"Out for a walk…she should be back soon."
His pale face was impassive. "She told Yuffie the same, but her 'walk' has been nearly four hours now."
Oh, God. She hadn't been well after all; she was probably collapsed in a faint somewhere. "We have to look for her—"
"We began searching two hours ago. She's not in the village," the former Turk summed up precisely, and Tifa felt both foolish and more frightened. Of course the others would have realized before now that something was wrong. Aerith could be easily distracted during her ventures, talk with locals turning "fifteen minutes" into "an hour" when the group was resting somewhere, but she was reliable when things got serious. Right now, they were dire. "We've begun sweeping the jungle… but it seemed prudent to check if she had said any more to you."
"No. She said she'd be right back… I don't understand. What could have happened?" The blanket's fabric became security as Tifa clutched it closer to her shoulders. "…We shouldn't have stopped here. Not after the last time. If Shinra took her—do you think she could have been?"
She was worrying now, openly fretting, and anyone else probably would have told her to calm down. At the moment, she was glad Vincent was the way he was, and willing to consider such possibilities. It still only took him a few seconds to shake his head. "There would have been a struggle. No one has seen or heard any evidence of that. I would say, more than likely… she's left of her own accord. Perhaps she finally made out what the Planet was telling her."
"You believe her, don't you, Vincent?"
"I've seen too much to be skeptical of such a claim." He straightened up. "We'll keep looking."
Tifa gritted her teeth, her hands folding up into fists. Damn it, why had her friend lied to her?! She wouldn't have stopped Aerith from going; she would have gone with, and kept an eye on her... someone else could watch Cloud, he was just sleeping, and he'd probably be okay, he hadn't even been injured, concerning as the assault on Aerith was.
**
When Cloud let out a soft moan, Tifa stopped still in her tracks, turning to him. Barret was also sharp at attention--enough to catch Tifa by the shoulder when the moaning continued and she started to approach Cloud, to wake him from the apparent nightmare.
Remembering what had happened when she'd shared a tent with Cloud near this town, she was glad for Barret's mindfulness. It was much too likely that he'd come back swinging, just as he'd gone out. It was already obvious as his jaw clenched and his fingers twitched that he was struggling against the dream.
"No...no! Come back!"
The next moment, Cloud's eyes opened, and they focused narrowly on Barret and Tifa. Clarity and calm were what she'd hoped would grace his expression, but he was wild-eyed and face twisted up, looking horrified.
He was aware, though. It was apparent by just how quickly his face settled again into something more controlled, even if his eyes still betrayed upset.
"You looked like you was havin' a nightmare," Barret told him. "How are you feeling?"
The first look Cloud gave him could easily have been interpreted as 'no shit', flat as it was. But the question seemed to be the final push he needed to get himself fully back to normal, blinking the last remnants of a restless sleep away: "...I seem to be okay now."
"That's good. For a while there I wasn't sure how things were going."
What were they talking like this for? Tifa knew Cloud, she knew Barret knew him--he wasn't going to spill his heart over a nightmare. "Cloud, Aerith is missing."
So they had to go now. He was awake, he was aware, he was probably shook up about what had happened because they all had been but for god's sake, Aerith was missing. She could be killed. They had to find her straight away.
She wasn't expecting Cloud to actually know where Aerith was.
"...City of the Ancients. Aerith is headed there."
That--sounded familiar, though Tifa couldn't quite place it. The answer sure got Barret in a fury, though, and Tifa immediately guessed: it was far, dangeous, or both. Well, it wasn't like the Temple of the Ancients had been easily accessible either.
"By herself?! Why'd she go by herself? Hey, we're going, too."
"Only the Ancients, only Aerith can save us from Meteor..."
"Then we MUST go," Tifa said, growing nervous. Cloud didn't sound like himself. Because really, any time Aerith was in danger or doing something that might be dangerous, he was there to be overly sensible. Sometimes annoyingly so, depending on how he phrased his objection. "What'll we do if something happens to Aerith? If Sephiroth finds her, she's in trouble."
Cloud didn't exactly freeze on the bed; he hadn't been moving in the first place. But movement became even more unlikely in that moment, with his eyes staying fastened toward the ground. "Sephiroth... already knows."
"Hey! Why are you still sitting around?" Barret demanded.
Exactly what Tifa had wanted to say, so she didn't reiterate it, upset as she was. They just needed to get moving. Before Aerith was taken from them. "Let's go, Cloud."
Something inside her crumpled when he did, folding in on himself on the bed and cradling his head like it could break. "No… I'm afraid. If this keeps up, I might go crazy! I'm afraid…"
Afraid he might be the one to hurt her? Was he really that unstable?
**
The point where it gets EVEN MESSIER TO READ because haha writing:
Cloud wanted to be by Tifa, as much as he wanted to be by anyone at all. He still didn't have a good explanation for his actions in the pit of the once Temple and it scared him. He'd wanted Aerith to--tell me who I am--but she hadn't, couldn't. She had to go save the world. That sense of goodness that radiated from her eyes, like they were reflecting something only she could perceive in him, quickly vanished. It had felt like there was no way he could do anything for her.
Tifa and Barret had quickly raged at him, promises of knocks upside the head and quiet pleas that they must go save Aerith getting him back up on his feet, and once there... yeah, he was annoyed with himself too. He had been a SOLDIER. He wasn't going to fail her by doing nothing.
Still...it...scared him, the moment the world had slipped out of focus and he had practically been outside his body, watching himself hand over the materia. He'd screamed at himself, tried to hold his own body back, but in the end nothing had worked; the materia had been handed over to Sephiroth.
And then... then...
He'd beaten Aerith. Tifa had told him, with a pinched, unhappy face, that that was the reason he now had jagged claw marks over the back of his left shoulder: he'd been beating Aerith, and after Nanaki had failed to get any response by yelling at him the feline had pounced on him to bring him to the ground.
Cloud barely remembered any yelling under the heavy tinnitus ringing not in his ears but in his head; but Tifa was honest. So the only thing to do had been thank Nanaki--quickly, without fuss, but it needed to be said.
'You did the right thing. If I'm a threat, take me out.'
Nanaki's actions, Barret's words...yes, he knew he could trust in his party if he went wild. But...
But he wasn't really sure...if a second time would find him coming back to normal. It felt like he was unraveling, and badly. It scared him. Like he was weaving offstep--he just didn't want to go crazy like that again.
So...so he was gravitating to Tifa. Even though she was looking away from him. It's because he's letting down her best friend. He understands that, so he's not angry, but he's just... something inside him is aching. He needed Aerith to tell him who he was, but she wouldn't. And Tifa's always, always had the answers, always been willing to take care of people, so maybe she would--if he could just get her to look at him.
What he does is sit down on the bed at the same moment she does. Their backs bump into each other and she sucks a breath in, jerking back up. "Cloud--"
Barret is giving him a look that promises so much shit if he even breathes on her wrong, but the man soon looks away. Cloud's not sure if it's because Barret knows him better than that now, or if he knows Tifa would kick his ass herself if it needed beating, or if his face is saying too much about how he feels.
It'd be just perfect if his face is saying too much when he can't even get his mouth to work.
"I wanted to talk to you," he murmurs to Tifa.
**
((...Also that is like three different attempts at that scene spliced together just now. So pretty much everything I've done with this fic lately was just "Oh, I think I have an idea. No, I don't know how to make the idea work. Let's try this. Now I'm frustrated. Let's try something else. LET'S GO BACK TO THIS...))
**
Her fingers twitched before clasping around cloud's bicep. "Cloud."
He looked at her with confusion. She knew her request was one that would throw him for a loop.
"Let me go up to Aerith first," she whispered. Because she could protect Aerith too, because she wanted to. She wanted to protect Cloud.
He nodded, though with uncertainty in his eyes, and she strode toward the first pillar and took a short leap up to it. She wondered if originally they'd been closer, or had more pillars in between--they weren't level but slightly crooked beneath her feet, leading to the guess that they'd been disturbed at one point.
And yet, still, she passed with little enough noise. Aerith did not stir one bit, which made Tifa grit her teeth. They had been so worried about her... shouldn't she at least acknowledge them? But the woman continued to keep her head bowed, hands clasped.
...Perhaps, then, she was communicating to someone. Probably the Planet. After sharing dreams with Cloud, Aerith wouldn't exactly be pulling a surprise by communicating to the Planet by prayer. So this was what she'd left them behind for.
A cut-off sound pulled her attention back for just a moment. Cloud had started toward the pillar, only for Barret to immediately grab his shoulder. He wanted to see Aerith, so it shouldn't have been a surprise to anyone...but it seemed to be a surprise to himself. His eyes were a touch wide, mouth working fruitlessly for a second before he closed it and shook his head.
Tifa wasn't sure if she wanted to know, not when they were so close to having Aerith back, so she crossed the final pillar into the threshold of the altar.
Aerith was still in prayer. Tifa wanted to shake her out of it and one hand rose to do that, but she just--couldn't. Aerith had come here to pray, so she needed to do that, obviously. She was the one saving the world, and just watching her... Tifa wasn't sure if it was the angle of her brow or the curve of her shoulders in prayer, but somehow she could see Aerith was pouring her whole heart into that.
Finally, green eyes opened, and Aerith immediately smiled at Tifa. It was the warmth of that gesture and the sure sign of hope behind it--Aerith was done praying and she was happy, it must mean something good--that let the tension ease out of the brawler's muscles, even as she caught herself and resolved that she wanted to tell the other woman how she felt about that little vanishing trick back in Gongaga.
"Aerith, we were so worried--"
In the glass surrounding them, there was a single flicker: a shadow, where there should only have been light.
It was enough for Tifa to shove Aerith back. And that was enough to place her in the path of a blade she recognized all too well when it sliced through her stomach from front to back.
Masamune. Seeing it embedded into her flesh once again felt unreal, but she was already struggling to pull in breath. Not a dream then, not a nightmare.
This...this was something she might never wake up from.
IN CONCLUSION: I think I am pretty much going about this chapter all wrong and am just now contemplating doing the final chapter as a sort of round of sleeping scenes...especially since I for some reason want to write about Aerith in the Sleeping Forest on her own. Even though no one else is with her \o_o/ I have pretty much hit the wall for a while now on knowing what I want to do with this.
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-07-28 09:15 pm (UTC)Even in game there are a few moments where Aerith loses patience with Cloud (I don't think it's ever true in the opposite direction, though it is easy to picture him finally getting mad that she won't listen when all he's trying to do is keep her safe). So yeah I do think they would have arguments (at times I like imagining them having spectacular arguments and then making up so...)
Haha while "Marlene" did throw me for a minute (was wondering if she cameo'd and I missed it) it's pretty easy to see how the two got switched with Scribblr's fic being so FF7-heavy--they're both the young girl of the group.
I just keep picturing with the lines that Aerith looks to Cloud for help with Tifa and he just puts on a serious face and says as leader of the group, he thinks Tifa's idea sounds pretty fair and she better get started. Nooo winning this one here, Aerith. XD
The magically filling diary always seemed weird to me... yeah this diary would just be an ordinary one. I can imagine Tifa being frustrated and upset at first because it is sad that they didn't figure it out while they could have had something, so her last journal entry of the time is bitter...and then maybe a calmer one some months later as an epilogue (though it's always possible to just end on the bitter note).
Actually after some more thought I don't think the fairweather friend CAN work, not without going AU in its own way; like, you mention events like entering his mind would clear that up a bit, and that really does seem like the first time things could get cleared up, but that's after she's been determined to find Cloud and then stay by his side and care for him through the end of the world, and there's also the way she's so sure that he would say things that would reassure her after the execution. From that faith I don't think it'd really work to be showing Tifa as thinking Cloud is a poor friend ...which now I think I may have to relook earlier portions over and make sure that most of her doubt is in her chances of romance and the weirdness of the memory conflict but not in him as a friend.
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-07-28 10:00 pm (UTC)Good point; I had blanked on Aeris getting ticked off with Cloud (the not wanting to involve her because she's a girl at her house, potentially that difficult to answer question in Costa del Sol...); but yeah very easy to see him getting mad that she won't listen as he's trying to keep her safe. I like the thought of spectacular arguments, but they cool down super-fast and make up just as fast...
I think I was also conflating 'But that was...' with 'The Sky...' which didn't help. But yeah, Kairi is in a similar position and with such a FFVII influence... At least you did know the moment I meant despite that goof!
Haha - yeah Aeris is not winning that argument ever.
Oh, the magically filling diary seemed weird to me too, and the ordinary one sounds better! And yeah, I can definitely see Tifa's last entry being bitter that Aeris never said anything/she herself never spoke up and just how different would things have been... (kinda torn on the point to leave it on actually. The bitter one sounds really right, like she can't bring herself to ever re-visit the diary after this entry - this is her last thoughts about Aeris and she's going to have to try and forget/move on and as much as she meant everything she wrote before she can't cope with reminders - at least not yet. So that's it, its a pained goodbye to Aeris and the nagging wondering of what might have been. But then the calmer one would still fit - its been some months later, the world is saved, things are calming down (/optional ignoring of AC here) and Tifa misses Aeris too much that she has to revisit the diary just to remind herself of her friend. So she opens it up, reads cover to cover... and just feels uncomfortable reading that last entry. She meant every word, but she hasn't been able to stay angry/mad/bitter. She knows Aeris never meant to die/never wanted to die/never needed to die, that if either had said anything nothing would have changed. And had she lived they might have one day been able to talk about their feelings and things would have been different. And she's reationalised that just as Aeris never said anything about her feelings, she didn't either, so they're both to blame/Tifa knows they'll be reunited in the Lifestream, but Aeris would want her to live first. So Tifa writes one final entry (maybe in both?), a much calmer, sad, but not bitter goodbye to her friend)
Got a little rambly there (also; much like 48 Exposures, there is a real appeal to these canon-spliced artifacts that the characters could plausibly have had. The twin diaries have a nice rightness to them. Suddenly I'm thinking they both start in Kalm - while gathering supplies, they spot them in a shop and both decide to keep a travel diary. Oh! And maybe the idea was at some future point they swap so they can see the other's perspective, and both hit on this being the way to confess to the other but writing it in, only that back-fires so sadly).
Ahhh! Good point about the fairweather friend. Yeah, that isn't going to mesh quite right there; so yeah Tifa can't be in any doubt of Cloud as a friend - just in terms of romance/the love triangle/the memory conflict (and that does work nicely as I think Tifa will attribute her seeming failure in the romance stakes because she doesn't feel able to speak up and tell Cloud how she feels/doesn't feel able to with the memory conflict).
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-07-30 01:51 pm (UTC)...I may have been thinking about how arguments would go in a threesome living arrangement too much. At any rate there are definitely arguments Aerith will never ever win like "but I went alone to keep you two safe--" "NO."
Yeah, that seems exactly right for mindset for both "final" entries--I think the second ending would depend on whether or not Tifa kept the diaries, or if Aerith's (and possibly hers as well) were thrown away/destroyed while she was still bitter about it (...mental image of Cloud coming to the campfire to see a journal in there and all Tifa will say about it is that it was dry paper and she couldn't find more kindling). Depending on just how personal Aerith's diary was, if she did keep it, it might be something that eventually gets shared with others--Elmyra, or maybe the rest of AVALANCHE. But yeah starting in Kalm and it being a shared idea seems right for both of them keeping one, and from there the idea of a swap is pretty easy.
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-07-30 08:18 pm (UTC)Oh! Definitely agree that Aeris at her angriest is the very calm, very composed and very clear - and Tifa now wishing for the yelling again (heh - and yeah what is Cloud doing that has angered Aeris so much?)
Hehe - its good to think about how an argument in that setup would work - and it makes me again wonder how often they would occur even with the participants really striving to communicate as clearly and openly as possible to prevent later complications. And yeah, Aeris is never winning the wanting to keep them both safe argument (and by extension, neither is Cloud if he ever tries to pull something like that).
Oh! that would be really sad if Tifa threw away her diary like that or burnt it. Though, I can see this being she burns her own out of frustration/sorrow/anger/bitterness, but can't bring herself to burn Aeris's as well (so in fic form, interspersed entries from along the journey/a moment in the North when the weather is freezing and they need warmth so Tifa sacrifices her own diary, then later post-game she writes the epilogue?). So she does eventually revisit it and really regrets burning her own... Hmm... if Aeris really is going to confess her feelings in the diary, it feels like Tifa would share some parts rather then others - especially if there is an expectation of the other reading it eventually and that kind of love confession is included.
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-07-31 01:52 pm (UTC)lmfao if Tifa gets recalled as referee--well it depends. I can see some matters coming up that still don't involve her because it really is an opinion difference between Cloud and Aerith that just isn't a factor in day-to-day stuff (and then she scolds them both for dragging her into it instead of working it out between them) but then yeah, there'd be the stuff where she does need to weigh in because it legitimately affects their relationship. And then it's like ffffffff having to pick a side, why.
(Though I can also imagine that at first all of them feel some need to play peacekeeper if a fight comes up between the other two because they've never been in this arrangement before and they're afraid of things souring somehow--which if the other two don't work things out between them might really happen. Aerith is happy to leave Cloud and Tifa to it as long as they're actually talking about the problem (heaven help them if they aren't), Tifa wants to play peacekeeper all the time at first and comes to realize 1) that's tiring 2) Cloud and Aerith don't always appreciate a moderator and 3) it probably is better for them to work through some things on their own. Cloud reacting to Tifa and Aerith fighting... he's probably torn between wanting to help fix it now and fretting he's going to somehow make it blow up even worse. Cloooouuuuud.)
Haha yeah AC Cloud would be in trouble too with Tifa and Aerith on trying to keep them out of his problems. I can kiiiind of see Tifa doing this sometime, not that it ever came up with Cloud or Aerith but the whole deal with Don Corneo (she says herself Barret told her to leave it alone and not get involved with the Don, now here she is in Wall Market on her own, if Cloud and Aerith hadn't happened to see and go after her she probably would have gotten dumped in the sewers with Aps on her own), but I think the circumstances would have to be really specific to get her doing that, she seems to default a lot more to doing things as a group.
...I'm kind of blanking on ideas about the journal thing right now. /shakes brain
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-07-31 08:19 pm (UTC)Good point; Tifa as referee will be very conditional based on circumstances, though I do like her scolding them both for dragging her into a difference of opinion. And yeah definitely some occasions when she has to get involved as it will impact all three of them. And choosing sides could be so fraught... Oh! And sometimes they have the worst rows where all three of them wind up on opposing points and Yuffie or Nanaki have to come in and get them talking again (not sure what has lead to that kind of melt-down admittedly).
I like the note about the anxiety, and the perceived need for the peacekeeper/getting the argument resolved as fast, as cleanly and amicably as possible - the seeming risk if two of them do fall out disastorously what that will do to the three of them. Though over time they realise they're stronger then that, and nice little things like Tifa and Cloud can keep arguing as just expressing themselves is good enough. Definitely agree Tifa would go for the peacekeeper role at first but then ceasing that. Haha! Yeah, Cloud is super-reluctant to interfere in an Aeris/Tifa fight like that - definite fears of making it worse somehow/pre-emptively gets the sofa ready for himself and the spare room for Tifa as they wind up needing to calm down between them (...for some reason I just see the bedroom being very much Aeris's despite them normally sharing it. It's her domain in a way. In any case, during the night Aeris or Tifa decide they're being silly and so sneak into the other's bed apologetically, and then proceed to sneak downstairs to the sofa and cram themselves on along with Cloud).
True about Tifa, she might try very occasionally to keep the other two away from her problems after how Wall Market worked, but yeah, circumstances would be a big factor.
I had an unusual idea about the journal idea, or at least how to write it; how about co-authoring it? I've never tried this, and am not entirely sure how to go about it... Bit of a random thought admittedly...
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-08-01 05:05 pm (UTC)...Weirdly this isn't examined in AC at all that I can recall, and in Case of Tifa it's only at most hinted at if you assume it part of what he's talking about in "lives lost"--but the focus is much more on Aerith's death and AVALANCHE's activities (which makes sense, it's Tifa's novella). But if I had Aerith survive and things go relatively the same, he would still feel some guilt, toward Aerith and Zack personally over Zack's death but also toward the death toll in Midgar. I mean, I assume he also realized that he wasn't exactly in control of himself, Sephiroth is really the one ultimately at fault, but guilt doesn't go away immediately just because you have logic (and really that logic pretty much extends to Aerith's death--the sequence of events that led to her death involve Sephiroth taking control of Cloud twice). "AC mode" involves a lot of clamming up though as well and I want to say with Aerith's directness as a bit of counterbalance for both him and Tifa it, yeah, probably wouldn't turn out as bad as in canon. (Uuuunless, assuming Geostigma still happens, he somehow finds out how Sephiroth's consciousness still exists. Because he didn't find that out in canon and I presume it'd upset him biiiiig time.)
(And now I am thinking even more of these things because I've been telling an rp buddy I'd try out their game and I'm thinking of playing Cloud... maybe from CoT, before he contracts Geostigma)
If we were going along compilation living arrangements + Aerith I think Marlene would be yelling at them all to get along again first XD and then they have Barret yelling at them too because the hell are they doing, getting his baby girl upset--but yeah, I can imagine a very odd occasion where one of the others calls their household and realizes "oh god you're all fighting? How the @$#! did you manage that" (I have to admit I'm curious how Cid would come down on one of their fights--I imagine he'd just be yelling at them all to use their heads and not go off half-cocked, stuff like that).
lmfao the mental image of Cloud walking into the house at night, hearing Tifa and Aerith fighting and automatically gravitating toward the couch just cracks me up. SELF-COUCHING (eventually one of the girls realizes what he's doing and they're probably looking at each other like "we should tell Cloud not to do that. Or maybe keep our fights a little more quiet so he doesn't spook like a chocobo in the wild"
they are slowly working on taming him and convincing him that the nice house really is okaaaaay, nothing bad is going to happen).I can see Aerith's dominion over the bedroom--partly because Cloud and Tifa don't like kicking her out, partly because Aerith if nothing else is stubborn and her attitude in an argument could easily be less "I'm leaving!" and more "no YOU get out, feel free to come back with a nicer attitude" (probably depends what the issue is--I have had her just entirely leave the house during hard discussions because she felt sucker-punched by the issue and wasn't sure how she should react (the time Cloud broke up with her and Zack because Denzel had arrived was like this) but if she's decided where she stands on something, she's digging her feet in).
I haven't done co-authoring either--it sounds workable for this kind of idea (I assume one of us would do one girl's POV each?), mostly I'm just really unsure if I'm not about to bite off more than I can chew in terms of my time management already.
(If I had good time management it would probably be fine, but I don't, and every time I fool myself into thinking I do... yeah something tends to fall to the wayside. >_> )
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-08-01 09:10 pm (UTC)But I do take your point as well; guilt can't be immediately banished by logic, so AC!Cloud is doing a lot of clamming up. But thankfully Aeris's directness is on hand to counterbalance him and Tifa. ...Ah - yeah if he finds out how Sephiroth's conciousness is still around, he's really going to react badly.
Heh - the RP sounds fun. Hope it goes well, and that could be an interesting Cloud to go for (...which if I assume right means that he can have found/rescued Denzel as I think that's before he gets Geostigma? Or would it really just be the early days of the Seventh Heaven when things are a bit tense with Tifa/the delivery business is just starting up?).
Oh, Compilation living arrangements is soooo tempting, and having them setup the Seventh Heaven as before would be neat (...not sure how much of AC should creep in, as Denzel is a little at risk of being overlooked) - especially if they build it a bit bigger, so Aeris has a flowershop adjacent to the bar and everyday she refreshes the flowers in the bar. But anyway, I like Aeris and Marlene yelling, and then Barret joining in and Cid rining up to find them all fighting like that - and yeah he'd definitely be shouting at them to use their heads and not go off like that. Kind of want Yuffie to show up and take Marlene off somewhere away from the stupid old adults with their silly problems.
Haha - glad the self-couching sounds amusing; until the girls catch on and they insist he not do that/sleep next to one of them (...before Tifa points out that that might be amazingly bad as it makes him look like he's taking sides in their argument which is why he's on the couch unprompted in the first place). So yeah keep the fights really quiet or try to ensure they resolve before Cloud gets back (somehow). Laughing so much about not spooking Cloud/training him up the nice house is okay...
Glad Aeris's dominion over the bedroom works; and yeah I can see the other two never wanting to kick her out/never being able to with her attitude. Oh! And leaving the house feels like that should immediately clue the other two into something being SO VERY WRONG as that never happens. Interesting that the Zack/Cloud/Aeris situation had a similar scenario. Running on a little more with the bedroom being Aeris's, I can see the other two have their own spaces as well; mostly like Cloud's office in AC - very temporary/maybe where the couch is/its a spare bed instead of the couch, and Tifa's... I'm trying to envisage. Writers! Could we please have seen this in some version of AC?!
Ah; yeah the idea was to each take one of the girl's (I was going to say I think you should take Aeris as I've said numerous times I really like your ideas/way you rp her/present her in things. Not that you don't do Tifa well!). And that's a fair point about this being yet another project on top of others/I keep leaving fics by the wayside as well which I need to get back to eventually... Still, I'm not advocating trying that right away, but it could be an idea to have a go at at some later date.
(I did think about the structure of it a bit and wondered about when each girl would write. It makes sense to mostly be during camps/in inns, but the two of them don't need to overlap precisely or interlink since each would be writing at different points/feel able to say things at different time-frames. So it could be a mix of alternating sequences/sequences seen from two different perspectives).
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-08-03 12:25 am (UTC)Haha yeah the rp Cloud would have found Denzel and have talked with Tifa. It's a high note before the onset of Geostigma but different from the novella's opening high note in that he's realized this is a problem for him, he's managed to put it into words, but he's got a hope about coping with it (though I then realized later thaaaaat before the characters find out certain things about the world's set up...he might be very upset to have been taken at a time like that, because his hope is helping Denzel and the others plagued by Geostigma. It's possible I can still work with it, but I might end up wanting to take him from early-CoT, around the bar getting established). ...At any rate he's still going to have some massive pangs of guilt right when he arrives because his only other castmate in-game at the moment is Zack. And Zack will be so happy to see him!! And Cloud will be so oh god what do I even say considering all the things Zack doesn't know about what's happened since his death... (Lots of players have put variation too on how much a post-Mideel Cloud actually remembers of being friends with Zack, not just being rescued by him, so it's really easy to see Cloud wondering how he should even act, what does Zack expect, should he act upbeat and Zack-like because Zack will be disappointed if he sees he's just...himself? Augh go away poor self-esteem, etc. Zack's probably carrying the whole conversation on his back and shoulders and chatterbox because Cloud's overthinking everything he does say. ...He'll get better, honest.)
lmfao it'll be interesting to play.
So far the way I have Denzel coming in on a route where Aerith lives is that Geostigma still happens, he eventually gets sick, and he's found either by Aerith swinging by the church as a nostalgia visit or by Aerith and possibly at least one other person with the church visit actually being Aerith trying to figure out a cure for Geostigma and going to the church for inspiration. (In that latter route I think Denzel would probably be the first person Aerith heals of Geostigma--and shortly after is when the remnants start getting involved to try to remove the possibility of her healing on a wider scale.)
Though I was thinking of Barret being a roamer again when I suggested compilation living arrangements at first, his yelling on the phone being after he hears how upset Marlene is... the thought of how the house would deal with him living there full-time too, and the sheer volume level if he and Aerith and Tifa are all going at it (I imagine Cloud is not really one to go up in volume, he'll be incredibly snappish but quieter compared to everyone else if he's participating) is just...haha yeah ANYONE would be flabbergasted to call during that. Plz rescue Marlene from the insanity, Yuffie.
I can kind of see Aerith and Tifa coming to a decision that arguments are on pause when Cloud comes home and they can be resumed later. And sometimes this helps because hey, time to think about the situation more and maybe calm down about it; other times they can't calm down and Cloud is eventually like "I'm only clueless sometimes, I know there's something up here e_e".
Yeah, Aerith leaving the house is probably a good sign she's more upset than she knows how to deal with which is...somewhat worrying. Though the flower shop next to the bar kind of made me smile a bit because in the Zack/Aerith/Cloud rp, Aerith actually helped run a flower shop--she was pretty much the owner after the first one left being the one most often in it. That's exactly where she ran off to during the breakup and it was sort of her domain in a way, even though she never claimed sole ownership (there were others who helped care for the flowers). I always saw her as going to the church a lot for that comfort from interacting with nature (and judging from the garden at her house too, she certainly did a LOT of it...) So I can kind of see if the flower shop is separate enough from the house that it's like "okay, give her half an hour/an hour to fuss over the flowers and get into a gardening groove, hopefully that will help her calm down and then we'll try talking again. If she's still distraught when we check on her, we need to start worrying." (If she didn't run to the flowers then they probably should REALLY worry as she doesn't even want to be able to be found right now.)
Tifa's domain is the barfront, it's her business and she did boot Cloud out of it in CoT. /slightly tongue in cheek, and yet I can see it being a place where she goes, either escaping into business and conversation with patrons during bar hours or furiously cleaning off-hours.
I kind of want to keep the lackluster bed in Cloud's office in a Cloud/Aerith/Tifa setup for. Reasons. And I'm getting disorganized due to headache. But the journals do sound like a fun idea to keep in mind! I'd be interested to see how you do Tifa. And yeah, it makes sense that the diaries might not always overlap precisely.
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-08-03 12:57 pm (UTC)That sounds interesting to take Cloud at his high-point there, and the hope about coping with things. Hopefully you can work around the knowledge issue, but early CoT with the bar being established still sounds like he'd be reasonably upbeat. And ouch! Yeah, he's going to have a lot of guilt pangs when he does run into Zack like that. I am amused at Cloud's uncertainty of what to do or say in when confronted with a Zack who is happy to see him like that and actively knows him. That does raise the question of how much Cloud does remember of Zack - I'd concur he seems to remember bits of the Nibelheim visit and the rescue but almost everything else is gone. I know other fanfic writers have done it so he gains more memories, and ACC felt like cloud remembered more then the OGC would lead you to believe (but then those memories were still awkward and disjointed so maybe not...). Anyway, I like the worry about how he should act, how would Zack expect him to act, how did he used to act. Like the little note about worrying about disappointing Zack by being himself and Zack's noticed something's off so he's supporting the conversation...
Definitely sounds interesting.
Oh! Of the routes, I think I like Aeris finding him when revisting the church (as I can see her doing that, and making it a monthly or weekly visit as those are still her flowers in there and someone has to care for them), that said, also returning with someone else has a nice feel so... Ack. Both sound good! But I like the idea of Denzel being the first person she cures and that really attracts the Remnant's attention that a major counter-force to the plan has already begun.
Haha - yeah while Barret roaming again, the sheer chaos of having the household having some kind of falling out is too appealing. Definitely can see Cloud getting quieter and snappier, and maybe instead of just rescuing Marlene, Avalanche descend on the house and hold an intervention/impromptu relationship guidance to try and minimise the chances of this war-zone developing again.
...my head is running away with the arguments on hold idea due to Cloud. As I really like that idea, but I can see the girls waiting until he's left the next day before trying to resume the argument and then finding they can't remember. So Aeris starts suggesting they note it down when Cloud gets home so they can actually resolve something and so they wind up with the argument notebook which is filled with all manner of little arguments and things some of which they resolve and some they just can't work up the effort. And one especially lazy day after a late night, Tifa hides the notebook so they can't resume the argument only that leads to a new notebook being created (and so on. Apparently I have a fondness for Aeris and Tifa writing things down...). But also like that even Cloud can tell something isn't right when they can't quite drop everything when he comes home.
Ah, yeah if Aeris *ever* leaves the house, the other two will quickly learn they need to be really worried about just what is getting to her. Amused I got the same idea as that RP, and yeah it does make sense for it to be her hide-away like that. The church is a good one too, and that will have a real nostalgic/safe-haven feel to it due to its past. Liking the give her half an hour to calm down with the flowers... and if she;s not there, next stop the church. And if not there... we need to ring Elmyra.
...really should have gotten the bar-front being Tifa's domain (for some silly reason I was thinking her bedroom was part storage space so crowded with boxes of bottles of alcohol. Then I realized that makes her sound like an alcoholic, and seriously that place should have enough storage space, and oh this makes no sense anymore!). Anyway, the bar makes sense as somewhere she can retreat to once the place is closed for the night(/she keeps a sleeping back/camping roll down there now if she does need to get away from them). And heh - I can see Cloud quickly learning that he cannot carry on an argument with her in there as it drags all their dirty laundry into public view, so he's learned once she's gone there he's got to wait until the bar is closed or she decides to come back to the private areas.
Kinda intrigued about the lackluster bed, but ack for headache! Hopefully you got rid of that.
...I... wound up thinking about the start of Tifa's diary last night (sleeping was evasive due to the heat), and I might try and see how it works. Basically I was thinking these would be blank journals rather then actual diaries, so the entries can be as long or as short as need be. I did wonder vaguely about torn out pages, but that's not as easy to do in a fic, but I was thinking of Tifa not knowing quite how to start so most of the first page is crossed out/has multiple starts. These range from everything from introducing herself (but the intended audience is Aeris whom she knows), hinting at her secrets (which she feels silly for both hinting at and worried about trying to bring up as of course Aeris is just going to ask), trying to relate the day they bought the journals (again, Aeris knows all this). Then she talks to Aeris in person and finds her friend has already written an extended entry and reassures her to write what she wants. And encourages the introduction and the relating of the day of purchase as the idea is to see things from both perspectives. More sure of herself, Tifa writes a quick introduction of who she is, what the diary is for and why she now has it.
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-08-06 08:25 pm (UTC)I'm kind of spazzing about portraying Cloud well in rp right now because I always start out doing that. (I'm not even into properly being part of the game or playing with Zack, I'm doing a bit of a test thread that has put Cloud into the odd position of carting a mermaid off to water because he found her stranded in the street and yes this is the kind of absurd stuff multifandom rp does) But yeah I see his memories of Zack as pretty disjointed, I think even in ACC there's not anything from before Nibelheim, right? Or did they have the Modeoheim meeting.../I really don't know why I haven't just rewatched already
To be honest the first Remnant attack after Aerith cures Denzel keeps going to "KIDNAPPING" and then it's like "...okay isn't Aerith kidnapped in canon enough and besides they'd probably want to just kill her". Obviously killing her is going further than desired so it's an odd question of how to actually introduce the threat of the remnants for the first time/what fallout there should be (...the kidnapping route involved Aerith kidnapped, Barret badly injured)...plot... I'll focus on clearing the game's storyline first. XD
ahahaha I picture the "finding they can't remember" thing just leading to Aerith and Tifa making up mock arguments that they're more laughing about than actually fighting over in any way (Cloud comes home during one of these and is very confused... is it safe...?) But yeah I can see if they do remember the argument it's like "OKAY it was important enough to remember let's note it so we don't go over the same points again".
(Actually one piece of advice for communication during arguments is to have each side summarize the other side's saying, so they know they fully understand what each other is saying and aren't disagreeing simply due to miscommunication, so I can see that being part of the writing... Aerith has to write down the points Tifa's made, Tifa has to write down what Aerith's been saying, and then they look each other's thing over to see what might be missing.)
I can see when Cloud picks up that they've been fighting he deliberately arranges things for them to do together or tries to sneak out of one of them what's wrong because he wants to figure out a solution ("tries to" because lol Cloud and social subtleties).
...Tifa and Cloud ringing Elmyra to locate a missing Aerith makes me think of both of them staring at the phone like "I don't want to do it" because AHAHA, telling the mother you're fighting and seriously enough that you think her daughter might have fled for home. Thankfully Elmyra is pretty cool and knows from lots (and lots and lots) of experience that her daughter can be a handful, but it's still pretty awkward and nerve-wracking (especially if they think they're the ones who pushed Aerith into running, not the issue... so if Aerith has gone to Elmyra, and Elmyra's likely heard allll about it, calling might get them an angry mama bear).
...though if she seriously doesn't want to be found she's probably not at any of those (though now I just keep picturing that Cloud and Tifa are like "...all, all right, tomorrow we'll talk to everyone and she's got to turn up SOMEWHERE and it's not like she's in trouble, she's just out somewhere and she knows how to take care of herself--Cloud no if you start worrying I'll start worrying, Marlene doesn't need that" and they go to bed thinking they are going to be making calls tomorrow and they wake up and there are cooking smells in the kitchen?? Pancakes?? And Aerith is bustling around like there wasn't even a fight?? And then it just settles in what's going on and it's like "Aerith you can't make us forget there's a problem with pancakes. It doesn't matter how good they are." "...What about waffles?" "Aerith. We're talking about this now.")
Yeah I think Tifa should have enough storage space in the bar for her bedroom (shared bedroom with Aerith?) to be fine. That'd be interesting for her to have a little space conceivable for camping out when she and Aerith or Cloud (or both but ack at that) aren't getting along.
Lackluster bed--I admit this is something that's just been sticking with me ever since I was thinking about the OT3 ask blog, because I wondered about someone asking about sleeping arrangements. And all along I've been thinking of the ask blog's set up of the OT3 as a sort of continuation on ...the fic we've been calling "Sleeping Arrangements". XD So what I actually started thinking of was the Gongaga chapter and Cloud's violent nightmare getting into his actions when he first wakes up and that it's not like remembering would fix the nightmares, if anything getting more of his memory back would probably make it worse until he starts finding ways that help him deal with them. So I ended up imagining they have a big bed that they can all cuddle/mess around on but it's not always all three of them sleeping on it; if Cloud's had a bad day/gotten stuck in an anxious mood he'll probably automatically put himself on the skimpy bed in his office room because he doesn't want to have anyone near him if he does wake up with trigger-hair reflexes. And him sleeping there would probably be very common at first since nightmares can occur often for people who have been traumatized and ease off as he finds ways to cope with them.
(Though, as I was writing this comment, it did occur to me that that probably would make the girls even more worried about him couching himself because then it's like "is he having more nightmares/is us yelling making him anxious" so yyyyyeah they'd probably have a talk about the self-couching pretty quickly.)
Torn out pages could possibly be a collection in a sidefic, but yeah, those are pretty hard to do in a fic alongside the pages that stay! And yeah, I was imagining Aerith herself would do a basic introduction that includes why they're traveling now, partially because she wants to remember exactly how she met Tifa and everyone else, partially because she wants to see Tifa's view of that, but I can see how it'd be more difficult for Tifa (not just confidence, but also losing sector 7 would make Tifa's outlook on the reason for them traveling/the past few days pretty different...)
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-08-06 11:08 pm (UTC)Point, I think Aeris could cleanly divide responsibilities like that; as ill-advised as her running off alone had been, she did it to save the others/not endanger them... but yeah, if she's speculating on running off again, then she's going to remember how badly wrong that went last time. But you're right, her guilt isn't a day to day one like the other two's. Definitely can see Tifa weighed down by it at first, but being open to drawing strength from her family and friends. Yeah, Aeris is going to be frowny at the one day Tifa will be punished - and its easy to see her getting into that kind of despair during Advent Children. Haha at CLoud being pants on head stupid. But worry not my brain is kind of fried (I wrote this part of the response last),a nd I think we have talked about it before...
...brain kind of stalled on the test thread. Amused, but going o_O at that situation. Hopefully your Cloud will go well (given you have successfully played Cloud before, presumably this is just getting back into playing hime again)! Actually both AC and ACC have a singular pre-Nibelheim moment; it's clearer in ACC but its Zack addressing the assembled troopers including Cloud, and he says something like "Hey, you do want to make it into SOLDIER, right?" and if I remember right that's after Modeoheim when he's made First Class, changes his hair and begins to move on after Angeal. Otherwise (loads up ACC...): there's a moment of Zack asking if Cloud's alright which could be from anywhere but I think is possibly on the way ot Nibelheim, the back of the yellow truck, Zack's death scene... (whereas AC has lower quality versions of the same shots and no death scene). I do like ACC, but one or two additions feel a step too far (off the top of my head, Moogle Girl's expanded scenes feel a little awkwrd given her brother just died, and Denzel versus the Shadow Creeper doesn't quite sit right), but by the same token, some of AC feels like its missing a lot of detail.
Ah! Yeah, I think Aeris is already kidnapped a few times too often, so avoiding that sounds a better plan - and yes the Remnants should be trying to destroy her as priority one given she is fully capable of scuppering the plan. And yeah we don't want her dying! Tricky though if they are going to come in - suddenly Aeris is possibly more at risk then she was in FFVII (would Sephiroth eventually have hunted her down do you reckon, or was he purely taking advantage of opportunity in the City of the Ancients?). But yes, something for later consideration.
That's interesting about the advice in arguments, and I like how that can easily lead into the transcribed arguments. And to be honest that feels like it would be such an effective measure in an argument (though I suspect half the problem is being cool-headed enough to stop and write rather then argue). And I like the idea that forgetting what they were fighing over leads to mock arguments/being silly with each other instead (which does sound adorable. Especially Cloud's confusion. They're laughing. That's got to be a good sign right? Then he listens to the argument even though they're giggling and amused and now he's really not sure). I can see them having agreements that once they've managed to transcribe a particular argument, it now can't be made again and pointing to the written out version is a hasty stop to the fight. Which never entirely works, but they try to adhere to it...
Haha - yeah, Cloud isn't going to be effectively sneaking in figuring out what the fights were about/I really like the idea of getting all three of them into the same place to do something no matter what the mindset (and this sometimes works, but often the occasions are very tense and its awkward and Cloud keeps trying to start conversations off that just nosedive).
I do now have visions of a concerned Cloud and Tifa staring at the phone; Cloud's already hastily gone to check the church, the local WRO headquarters while Tifa has had a quick run around the streets/checked the flower shop (especially after the previous time Aeris managed to hide in between two rows of flowers and stay quiet enough she was overlooked), and now they are going to need to ring Elmyra. And I can really see both sides of Elmyra there; knowing her daughter's nature, so she can try and help them/offer suggestions but then may also have heard the situation so not be pleased with her daughter's partners... Then sneakily tell them to come by the next day, and what to bring and at least get them talking again.
...okay; I'm seriously going to ask for them to have a falling out if you'll include the vanishing without a trace/no one's seen Aeris only for them to wake up and find her making waffles like that, as that would be amazing! (and yeah, Tifa is going to reminding Cloud she can take of herself/seriously is the Planet going to let *anything* happen to it's last Cetra (bit of a meta-reference, but as far as they'll be concerned, while they worry about her, they know the Planet wants her around as much as they do)).
I like the idea of a shared bedroom for Tifa and Aeris; and that while the Seventh Heaven is being constructed, Aeris has a hand in the plans and Tifa asks why there are two bedrooms; Aeris replies that with Cloud's potential irregular work patterns he needs somewhere he can rest without disturbing them/them disturbing him when he needs more sleep. Tifa accepts that, but then asks if the two of them are sharing the other room. They are and Aeris asks if she's still willing to share a bed with her. Of course says Tifa. Then Aeris starts musing if they'll be okay with a double bed at this rate, or she should try and get a King-sized bed for when Cloud joins them (Tifa blushes). I was wondering a bit as to how they would react in pairing terms to a fight. I suppose a lot depends if any of them take sides, but I can see a reluctance to be seen taking sides by sleeping in the same bed as one of the other arguers - so they get into a habit of all sleeping separately after most fights (with the odd exception like when Aeris has vanished and Cloud and Tifa are just worried), and then possibly some nocturnal sneaking into each other's rooms, as dammit, they sleep better with the others/rarely is an argument worth avoiding each other for like this.
Ah! that's kind of cool that the OT3 blog as a continuation of the fic! And a pretty nice way of setting out a lot of the headcanon for the ask blog in the first place. I like the reasoning for maintaining the camping bed there; that feels very right - especially at first and then decreasingly as time moves on. And yeah, they have the biggest bed Aeris can scavenge as per the above (Tifa is a little surprised Aeris didn't just want a double bed to keep them all really close together, but Aeris really wants as much room as possible. Even if they do wind up cuddled right in the centre usually...). And I like that even if Cloud is having a bad day/anxious Aeris and Tifa are just too used to sleeping with each other to ever stop doing that. Even with a static home/multiple possible bedrooms.
Heh - yeah there would be that worry of exactly why Cloud is sleeping separate, so that situation will tail off sooner rather then later.
That's a good solution for the torn-out pages, so maybe. (I was also thinking that Tifa stops herself short of confessing too much even with the option of obliterating it - as there's no real good way of indicating that in a fic unless its done as a transcript (awkward) or the normal strike-through (which suggests it should still be legible). Anyway! Yeah, that sounds right for Aeris (and I can see her wanting to record every new sight and experience as there's just so much to take in now she's out of Midgar), and good point on the additional issues for Tifa. She's really not going to know how to strike the best tone at first and there will be numerous false starts...
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-08-08 11:08 am (UTC)I forgot to say, though it was probably obvious, the biggest reason guilt isn't as bad for Aerith is because though Tifa's life is in danger for some time, it wasn't lost. If Tifa had died, it would have messed Aerith up big time, feeling guilty for Tifa herself and the effect it'd have on others, especially Cloud and Barret (another thing I think might need tweaking in 'the one who didn't die'--Barret's muted in the aftermath, which I think I meant as him being torn between anger and not wanting to rage at Aerith, but let's face it, Barret's not that good at capping his anger and Sephiroth is a perfectly good outlet for rage--he'd probably be egging Cloud on in pursuing Sephiroth for revenge at that moment). Even after Tifa wakes, I think it'd weigh on Aerith with both unease with Tifa, and with Cloud becoming lost at the North Crater, wondering if he could have resisted Sephiroth's control if he hadn't been emotionally shook up by Tifa's near-death (of course, the canon course being what it is...) and the survival of the world is still a big question mark and she doesn't know what else to do so it's like, great. She has possibly failed as a Cetra and hurt her friends and the world might end and she's gotten handed off to Hojo again, but let's keep hanging onto hope! ...Yeah, this is pretty much her low point. But things get better with Cloud getting better/being rescued from Hojo/HOLY ACTUALLY WORKS (not...as well as hoped, but if it hadn't been summoned things would have been doomed completely, so obviously it was good that she summoned it--all the same she should probably be more careful about running off alone next time).
Oooh, yeah. I really shouldn't have forgotten the moment from the sortie; so definitely in addition to touring the inns I need to stop forgetting and actually watch ACC again XD For review!
suddenly Aeris is possibly more at risk then she was in FFVII (would Sephiroth eventually have hunted her down do you reckon, or was he purely taking advantage of opportunity in the City of the Ancients?)
I think it was a narrow opportunity thing--he wanted to kill her before her prayer was complete so Holy wouldn't be summoned. Once that happened, there's no more advantage to killing her than any other member of AVALANCHE (he still does to screw with Cloud, but I'm of the opinion that his pettiness in screwing with Cloud was ultimately his downfall--he would have killed Aerith before the prayer was complete if he hadn't been trying to do it through controlling Cloud, which failed). At the same time, as soon as he got the idea for coming back through Geostigma, she'd be a target again--possibly. There's also the possibility that he'd dismiss her at first as the Jenova virus is what decimated the Cetra civilization, so he wouldn't believe her capable of healing another Jenova-derived disease (it is slightly curious that she is able to). At any rate once she is actually healing then yes he's a threat to his plan again, time to hunt her down.
Haha, yeah, the trick with transcribing arguments (especially each other's) is being level-headed enough to pause and do it! And oh, Cloud trying to start conversations in the tension would be so frustrating for him, especially when they nosedive... I can see him just becoming quiet after a while and feeling miserable or sulky XD;
The mental image of Aerith hiding between two rows of potted flowers just cracks me up. MAKING UP FOR ALL THE TIMES SHE COULDN'T PLAY HIDE AND SEEK AS A CHILD poor Tifa. Poor Cloud. And yes not finding Aerith only for her to turn up making conciliatory foodstuffs would be amazingly surreal for Cloud and Tifa, it's definitely something I'd want to do if I figure out the right circumstances for it.
I think, in terms of sleeping with an argument not yet resolved, that their default would be to try to set aside their feelings of upset for bedtime so as to not cause awkwardness that way (so they might be upset still and that's a bit awkward itself, but they're not drawing lines). Especially if Marlene is with them (though maybe her and Barret might be located somewhere else I guess?) because all three of them going separate ways could read worryingly to her. (Er, once she's realized they usually sleep together in the first place. I can see attempts to obscure that at first because they don't know if it'll make sense to her/Barret might think it's a little strange still XD; ) That said, there's different excuses they could make to sleep separate and I can see them trying them when things are uncomfortable (Cloud has his separate bed anyway so he might try to just slip off and hope Aerith and Tifa assume everything's fine he's just worried about nightmares, if Marlene is with them "sleepover with Marlene" is an excuse for Tifa or Aerith to slip out without worrying what Marlene will think of it because she'd never complain about company!) buuuut I imagine most of those would get cottoned onto and become old after a while (Cloud getting away with it a few nights, not realizing how transparent he is until the girls are unhappy about it and tell him so; "sleepover with Marlene" is always transparent to the other adults and might not even be presented as an excuse to them, just Marlene (and then one night as they're braiding each other's hair Marlene frankly broaches the topic of The Trouble The Adults Are Having Because Adults Are Dumb. Tifa or Aerith is quietly stunned and somewhat ashamed Marlene realizes this much about what's going on, WHOOPS)) so eventually they don't really work and actually leaving is reserved for really bad arguments in which case, yeah, they probably all want to sleep separate because even the neutral party isn't going to be very happy with the other two.
(Marlene still gets sleepovers though. It's just that there is no excuse-making going on, they are simply going to have a fun night with Marlene.)
And yeah whether it's self-couching or trying to hide his own frustration during an argument, any increase in Cloud putting himself in the dinky bed is going to be noticed by the girls eventually.
Yeah, Tifa probably would be able to stop short in most of the journal entries, since handwriting things--especially journal entries--usually gets more deliberation before the actual writing than, say, typing.
The fact that I typed half that sentence and then immediately deleted and started over kind of shows how often typed stuff just flows out with thinking coming later...Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-08-08 08:29 pm (UTC)Ah! Yeah, Aeris's guilt is going to be lessened by Tifa's survival like that - and yeah, that would have really knocked Aeris's mindset, how she caused it and how her friends will react. I like those ideas for 'The One Who Didn't Die' as well; I can really see Barret being so torn on anger and not wanting to scream at Aeris like Cid is. And yeah he's really not good at keeping a lid on his anger and that's going to explode and need directing somewhere, and Sephiroth is the logical (and correct) target. And I really can see him pushing Cloud to continue the pursuit for revenge - and possibly stating he'll pursue Sephiroth regardless of the other's actions as he needs to pay him back for almost killing Tifa. And oh - yeah, I can see the questioning if Cloud would be so vulnerable to Sephiroth had Tifa not been injured/that had shaken him up (so now I do wonder if both of them had been okay, would Cloud have been anywhere near as vulnerable?)
At least things will get increasingly better! Cloud rescued, away from Hojo, the world saved (even though it could have been better in the end), and an important lesson about not running into peril on her own.
Hehe - well, ACC is still fun (with some ignoring of the troublesome parts). Actually, ACC possibly goes a bit far on the memories of Zack; since in AC they were all implied Cloud POV, but in ACC they're a mix of a clearer version of those/bits of CC cut-scene).
Hmm... that does make sense on Sephiroth's motives and I would concur with you; his pettiness was his downfall - had he killed Aeris himself as soon as he could Holy would never have triggered. Ah, the idea he might not have any worries about Aeris if Geostigma is the same disease that wiped out the Cetra (a neat idea which I still like), and yeah that she can at all is a little odd (unless its because the Cetra have had thousands of years to work on this, but no that doesn't really work either as then they'd be able to offer an immediate solution. Um).
Poor, sukly Cloud! But yeah, trying to start a conversation in that kind of tense situation is not going to be easy for him/he'll be worried of saying exactly the wrong thing.
Glad you liked Aeris's hiding spot. Technically she might have played hide and seek as a child, but the stakes were far too high (and that's kind of depressing, so we'll stick with your idea). Actually, I'm wondering if the waking up to conciliatory foodstuffs is a moment of confusion and then panic - what if Yuffie has decided to drop by, gotten bored and started cooking. The last time that happened they almost lost the kitchen *they lunge for the stairs*...
That does sound right that they'd default to trying to set aside any upset for the night-time just to avoid any awkwardness like that/they'll sleep next to each other, but not really talk/try to avoid contact. I admit here I thought that Marlene would still be living with them as per AC, and Barret is off (hastily giving up on the oil thing as seriously guys), so I can see her being very worried if everyone is sleeping on their own. That said the idea of sleepover with Marlene is really appealling, and I can see her enjoying it most when both Aeris and Tifa are with her (cf. Heartbreaker just without Aeris being disapproving of Tifa's arm around her waist when Marlene comes in, and Marlene's aversion to them kissing (I see her more as waking up, rolling her eyes and being amused at them being cute with each other like that)) and yeah the's never going to complain about the company. I was going to wonder how much Marlene would know/how they'd try and hide the default sleeping arrangement when she is around (/if she lives with them, early mornings), but I think she'll cotton on almost immediately, but not say anything - and I do like Marlene broaching the Adults being dumb topic as Tifa and Aeris are stunned (sort of cf. Full House Shuffle as I just like the idea of her demanding they sit down and sort if out again). After this though, they never try to hide that they much prefer sleeping in a pile of adorable with each other. But yeah, sleepover with Marlene/worrying about nightmares sound good excuses for them to use, but they do get old/Cloud finds how unhappy the girls are that he's doing that/Marlene reveals she's more aware of the situation then they realised.
So yeah, leaving the bedroom is for the real bad arguments/no one wants to seem to take sides and feel like they're pushing the other out (and its one of these cases which induces Aeris to run off perhaps).
And yes! Marlene sleepovers will be so cute - especially as above with both Aeris and Tifa. Meanwhile Cloud and Denzel are left to their own devices/Cloud starts doing paperwork again.
Thinking about it, I can see Tifa being a little frustrated if a diary entry ever does get onto the topic of the past/memory disparity with Cloud. Like... she doesn't want to write it down, because then its harder to ignore, she's "voiced" that worry that keeps nagging at her and it feels like it would give it more weight. The other thing I was wondering about is the calendar system. I vaguely remember that the dates are a match to the real world, but its whether that's a good way of doing it (admittedly making a whole new system is way too much work for this. But I was wondering if (though possibly long-term confusing) the diaries are in relation to their purchase/how long their journey has been going...? Or I could just use the dates)).
Haha - yeah, typing is much easier to ramble on then handwriting (plus usually more legible afterward)
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-08-14 06:03 pm (UTC)...Anyway after that massive digression. Yeah no reason for Zack to believe Aerith can heal mako poisoning specifically, and the chapter really wasn't one we needed--I would rather just open with Zack weakened from the fight, reflecting back on how he hadn't expected this part of the escape to be so hard, pass out at the strange man, wake up, and get right into whatever's going on.
Oh yeah, Barret saying he's going to get Sephiroth no matter WHAT the others are doing would pretty much force Cloud, who I imagine would get pissed off at Barret in the same moment for saying something so reckless, but he feels the same--so that's it, they're going, and Aerith is just horrified because this situation is pretty much the exact opposite of what she wanted. If Cloud would have been okay if everyone had been fine... I think, actually, there's a good chance that had everyone been fine, there might have been a chance of Aerith convincing Cloud that he really did need to take a break now, before something strange happened with him and Sephiroth again, and that would have averted the whole chain of events at North Crater. But if he'd gone anyway... it's really tough to say? Because he DOES have the holes in his memories for Sephiroth to take advantage of. But he also holds Tifa's and Aerith's views of him as important and Aerith would have reassured him and Tifa might have been stronger than in the canon version events had she not been just hit with Aerith's death as well. It's a situation where the group as a whole would have been stronger and that support could have made Cloud strong enough to believe that even though something's wrong with his memories, he's still his own person and important to his friends as that (whereas in canon he thinks he was important for something he actually isn't as part of his breaking down and tries to get Hojo's validation because he thinks he's just an experiment).
But yeah THINGS WILL GET BETTER. And haha, yeah I did notice that some of the ACC additions are a bit bizarre, like Cloud flashing on Zack raising his sword against the army--dude you were tucked behind a rock for that.
I think maybe the Cetra/Jenova/Geostigma/Great Gospel cure thing (...lmfao that's long) can maybe be looked at as a difference between humans and Cetra making curing humanity whereas Cetra were pretty much sunk, but this ties back into my weird headcanon with a part of humanity splitting off from Cetra during the long-ago epidemic and tonberries being mutated Cetra--basically the virus was somehow latching onto and mutating/changing their connection to the Planet in a way that drove them mad and mutated them, and humans didn't mutate because they'd given up that connection and didn't have the same access to Lifestream energy (...so they just died. Cheery.) But basically I go with the Cetra's strength ending up being used against them when the Jenova virus is in them, so I think it makes sense in that kind of way that a human population could be saved with some time to work on the problem? (...Yes, this kind of view does make a living Aerith in potentially a LOT of trouble if she got infected.)
LMFAO going with compilation they wouldn't really have to worry about Yuffie randomly dropping by, but with things being different here, and especially after worries of Geostigma are no longer keeping Yuffie at Wutai... yeah they might have to worry about a ninja cook XD
Oh yes Marlene would be very amused when she caught any of them kissing. ...And I can imagine all of them being embarrassed when Marlene asks certain questions about the whole threesome arrangement (SHE'D CATCH ON EVENTUALLY she already knows Tifa likes Cloud, she knows Aerith likes Cloud, now Tifa and Aerith like each other, and Cloud always picks up a bit when either of them are around, and sometimes they'll give him these little hugs they never did before and he just melts into them like a lazy cat when he doesn't think anyone else is watching--1+1+1=...) like hey how do all three of them kiss at once? Cloud considers this after he gets done being embarrassed. "...Carefully."
And haha yeah if they're all being dumb Marlene will probably lecture them to go sit on the couch at some point
of course she's the adult here she can bartend by herself.Ahhh, yeah! I'm sure once Denzel comes, the girls' sleepovers would result in a boys' sleepover happening at the same time (and then Cloud not knowing what else to do brings Denzel into the garage to tinker with Fenrir. Denzel thinks it's amaaaaazing).
I can see Tifa being worried about writing anything she's worried about (...lmfao cycle of worry)--her journal probably WOULD have a lot of scratch-outs or topic switches as she realizes she's heading toward something she doesn't want to explore too closely. To be honest, I wasn't even thinking of explicitly showing dates before... yes, they're common in diaries, but there's other ways to denote a new entry and the length of time passing between them. I think I was just thinking they would be assumed to be written in. XD
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-08-14 08:53 pm (UTC)Hehe - yeah Cloud's limit break is kinda weird with respect to the plot. And I do like that little exchange. I suppose its possibly a translation goof again; is Meteor actually Meteor or is it Comet? So the two aren't linked by name like that (but yeah, it would still seem in poor taste for Cloud to be throwing even tiny falling objects around like that).
I'd concur with that suggestion for Triangle as well; another fight while well written is not terribly interesting since we're very definitely heading to (presumably) the end of the fic, and its not adding anything interesting or new to embellish the in between moments. I keep forgetting to go back and find out what the third Triangle is supposed to be like. I shall do so now! ...which it turns out hasn't been stated. The most I can glean is it has a more straight-forward story-line/is less linked one-shotty then the first. Oh well.
Yeah, I can see Cloud being pissed off at Barret for being so reckless due to the narrow near miss they've just had, but yeah he feels just the same so the move to keep chasing Sephiroth is going to overwhelm any call to pause and figure some fairly vital things out, and yeah pretty much exactly what Aeris didn't want. Though yeah, had there been no injuries at that point then there's a good chance things would have turned out differently. Interesting question, and I think you might be onto something with the situation; Cloud will still be vulnerable, but he'd have two companions whose view he treats as important, the group wouldn't be feeling confused mixes of sorrow and vengeance, and its likely there'd be more of a united front versus Sephiroth/Tifa feeling able to bring up the water-tower memory there.
At least things will get better for them all! (And ultimately happier since none of them needs to die this time). Heh - yeah some of those ACC additions... I think they had the CC renders freshly available and wanted to use them again/wanted to solidify CC into canon a bit more or something. But yeah, did so at the expense of consistency given the much more fleeting AC memories/definitely Cloud POV memories (and as someone noted at one stage, kind of oddly the driver of the yellow truck isn't visible at all in either AC or ACC. Then again, there is really oddly a shadow missing in ACC that was in AC (part of the Highway chase - there is just a moment when Cloud's bike is missing its shadow).
I do kind of like that idea of the Tonberries being the mutated Cetra, and that distinction between why the virus mutated the Cetra versus killing the humans (haha - yeah, cheery...). And o_O yeah, Geostigma is the worst thing ever for Aeris with that setup (...though stupid comic moment idea is that Aeris has been sick, they know about the tonberry thing or suspect it, and come home one day, can't find Aeris... but there's a tonberry in the house for some reason. Everyone's really sad until Aeris comes home - then everyone worries about the knife-wielding ultra-dangerous creature (...I haven't the first idea yet why the tonberry is there - unless Aeris brought it there to try and figure out if the virus effects could be reversed even at that stage)), but that does work with how the human population can be saved with some research and efforts to cure the virus (it feels as if Aeris could be slightly more resilient due to her half-human nature, but its still getting to her (...as much as I like the creepy horror of the tonberries being Cetra, my brain keeps coming up with possible amusing connections. Aeris taking a liking for handling carving knives for example... much to the other's increasing worry))
(please take all comic comments with a pinch of salt - still very much in favour of the dark implications that the Cetra were reduced to the Tonberries, and its a more inventive idea then when I tried to have Jenova raise the infected Cetra army as some kind of zombie/Xenomorph-style creatures)
Glad the ninja cook idea is possible (and there does seem a consistent head-canon for everyone that Yuffie is simply a dreadful cook in every instance). And Cloud and Tifa are just so relieved to find its Aeris cooking. Maybe less so if it turns out Yuffie is there as well, and Aeris only just stopped her from starting cooking earlier...
Heh - yeah, the three of them are going to be embarrassed when Marlene asks some basic fundamental questions about their situation. And yeah, Marlene is going to suss them out really quickly - absolutely love that description of Cloud being hugged by both and him melting into them like a lazy cat. And that question about them all kissing at once sounds just right for someone of Marlene's age to ponder on (and Cloud's response is pretty great too). But yeah even if they do try to keep their distance while she's there, they're going to slip up or be a little too clingy, a little too appreciative of hugs/quick kisses when they're sure Marlene is elsewhere...
Marlene lecturing adults on relationships and communication is just inherently adorable, funny and somehow right seeming I think...
Ah! Yeah that makes sense for Cloud and Denzel while the girls are having their sleepover, and yeah Denzel's really getting involved with tinkering with Fenrir (...I think it was 'Wait for It' where Cloud builds Denzel his own bike after the time-skip at the end. So I can see him getting that kind of idea at that point).
Heh - yeah Tifa's pages full of crossing out/hasty stops and conversation switches. And very true, there are a lot of other ways to denote new entries; and its easier if both journals are completely blank so can be marked however needed. For some reason I was thinking basically they'd bought desk-diaries or something with specific spaces/days of the week, but its nicer for blank pages and entries as long or as short as need be.
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-08-15 05:54 pm (UTC)Laughing at Cloud's attractiveness to Cetra women (or maybe just all Cetra...) coming up again. And yeah, I guess that does mean their child in an AU might have been a stronger Cetra than expected!
Meteor was actually メテオ in the Japanese version (I just checked the JPN wikipedia entry on Final Fantasy VII to see), just as Cloud's Meteorain is メテオレイン. I started wondering yesterday if this might be a holdover from when Cloud actually, genuinely didn't have a past of his own, so him pulling off a move inspired by Sephiroth would be kind of creepy but make a lot of sense (just as it's kind of weird but also neat that he has weapons like the Yoshiyuki and Murasame that he can equip) and got kept in as 1) it looked really cool and let's face it a lot of Final Fantasy VII was looking cool in the new shiny PS1 graphics and 2) it can still make sense as knowledge he inadvertently picked up through the Jenova cells (though then Crisis Core makes it weird by having Zack associate it with Cloud already but you know what Crisis Core makes a lot of things weird so I don't really care there). ...It might also just be purely rule of cool all along and they never thought anything of possible implications there.
(While I was on the line of thought of what might have been decided when Cloud was actually really, truly, 100% Jenova-derived I started wondering about his name because now "Cloud Strife" is connected to Nibelheim and his life being a mess but. "Cloud Strife". "Heaven's Calamity/Calamity from the Skies". Thematically, Cloud's name and Jenova's titles seem somewhat...similar. Trouble in the skies. Anyway.)
Triangle could definitely use a more focused storyline. Maybe I will keep reading (hopefully that starts soon).
...Should the truck driver be visible in Advent Children? guh, this is why I need to stop coming up with other distractions and just rewatch XD funny enough I'd heard about the motorcycle thing before, sounds fairly noticeable.
...In darker versions of Aerith falling prey to Geostigma, knives actually were involved in very unpleasant ways. :) That said it would be funny as morbid humor too for them to have been discussing about, like, some archaeologist's theory branching off of the information Gast documented with Ifalna's help to hypothesize that tonberries came from Cetra and at some point Aerith dives off the conversation because NOPE TOO UNPLEASANT CAN WE NOT, leaves the room, and Tifa/Cloud/whoever else might have brought this information up (because presumably it's relevant and important) are now left in an awkward lurch of picking the conversation back up and connecting that theory to whatever's going on right now, like the actual Geostigma epidemic, maybe the special care they need to take with Aerith if there's a possibility she's more susceptible--and then Aerith starts preparing lunch for everyone, cheerfully humming as she pulls out vegetables and a cutting board and the big carving knife and CHOP, CHOP, CHOP everyone in the living room winces a bit as she puts much more force than necessary into it. It's not Everyone's Grudge. It's just Aerith's Peeve.
I don't know if it's really inventive, since it's kind of just an Occam's Razor thing? Not that that's quite the right description--but I like keeping the number of new things pared down at times, so it's fun to see if something already existing in the verse can explain something (If Cetra infected by Jenova turned into monsters, what happened to the monsters they became?).
Well, Yuffie probably would be an awful cook because she doesn't seem very careful or detail-oriented and she could easily tear off the second something more interesting is going on, without turning anything off! XD
Haha, the "lazy cat" was me really just enjoying the thought of Cloud leaning against a counter, all :|, and then Tifa sidles up to him and her arm slips up behind him to his waist and he just smiles a bit and relaxes against her (and Marlene watching from the staircase is all :o). ...And then he tries to do the same thing with Aerith and Aerith is like "...don't lean on me, you're heavy" and at that point he smirks and deliberately leans on her more like I'M SORRY AERITH, WHAT WAS THAT?, and then she starts jabbing him in the side with her finger, which turns into a tickle war, which turns into even more horseplay, which winds up with Cloud having hauled Aerith over his shoulder in the moment Tifa bans them both from the kitchen because you guys she is starting dinner in like two minutes and neither of you can behave.
...I really like the idea of Cloud eventually loosening up to goof around with people, okay. But yeah, eventually Marlene is going to cotton on.
That is a pretty good question of exactly what kind of book they're using--I was just picturing colorful cover, lined pages but not exactly a particular format.
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-08-21 02:33 pm (UTC)...yeah I was going to say about Cloud's general attractiveness to Cetra, but for some reason didn't. I like this as an excuse for why Zack takes to Cloud so easily. And... this is total ramble, but could it be related to why Cloud was such an outcast at Nibelheim? Whatever makes him appealing to the Cetra works the opposite direction for humans, so the kids don't like Cloud, but can never articulate entirely why. Huge problems though as when he's older no one seems to have a real problem with him (so unless its something very specific when he was younger and that element fades as he grows up). Rambly...
That's an interesting thought that Meteor-Rain might be a holdover from the earlier stages of the game, and yeah it makes a creepy amount of sense that he would be using a move inspired by Sephiroth like that (and yeah, the two Masamune-like swords he can have. I totally forgot about those in the sex-fic/usually keep Cloud with the same sword all the way through regardless). And heh - yeah it does look really cool, and yeah CC caused so much weirdness its not really worth worrying about Zack associating it with Cloud like that. (and I see there has been some new shouting about Zack in CC/some weird claims of him cheating on Aeris on tumblr. And a lot of defenses of the game. I don't think I'm every going to really be enamoured with it given I can't get behind the depicted relationship and the other small but frustrating alterations along the way).
Wow; that's an interesting line of thought on Cloud's name connecting to his nature if he was a pure Jenova construct like that. Reminds me muchly of the darkfic you wrote when Tifa discovers that Cloud is a construct. It kind of feels like it could also be used for an AU where there was someone Tifa knew in Nibelheim who left to join SOLDIER, but that Cloud as we know him was named by Hojo (...he'd been reading Loveless and was feeling poetic) and he slips into the right position in her memories, but his memory of the promise is painstakingly put together from comments Tifa has made rather then being his own memory. Though it'd be nice for this to be a case of Cloud transcending his origins and while he never was the person who made the promise, he's not going to abandon Tifa and fight against Jenova/save the world (...though that makes it more of a slight AU).
I'm all kinds of rambly today.
o_O at knives being used unpleasantly/in darker ways in Aeris falling prey to Geostigma. But that does make sense. And I like the morbid humour idea as well as she's slicing with the big knife/the title of Aeris's Peeve is amusing. And that's a fair point about Occam's Razor; and I'd concur, I like to keep the amount of new things/new characters down to an absolute minimum, and the Tonberries are interestingly positioned in-game for that kind of linking.
Haha - yeah I can see Yuffie being like that with cooking. And the cast learned that very well while hunting Sephiroth so she was never in the cooking rota.
Oh, I like that description of the three of them messing around in the kitchen and Tifa banning them. And Marlene watching how they behave around each other and very rapidly coming to the correct conclusion and not worrying about it anymore - that's how the three of them are. But yes, Cloud loosening up to goof around with people is really nice and a long time coming.
Random thought on the diaries; since they're eventually intended for the other person, I'm wondering now if Tifa would deliberately get something with a floral pattern on the cover as while she's never seen the church at this stage she knows Aeris referes to herself as a flower girl, and the flowers could easily have come up in conversaton while journeying to Kalm. The opposite I'm not sure. I can see Aeris picking something similar, but also that she might get something plain(er), in red maybe to match to Tifa's eyes (or blue to match the Wall Market dress and the first time she saw her).
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-08-22 03:30 pm (UTC)Ehhh I wouldn't take the appeal to Cetra too far, but at the same time I'm very slap-happy tired (I am not sleeping well at all lately, either I don't get tired until very late or I fall asleep at a reasonable time and wake up repeatedly in the night) and I am not sure how seriously to be taking the whole thing. As crack it'd work.
(AHAHA because AB was wondering about the translation I took a look at stuff myself and now I'm ticked at TLS for being inconsistent and at people claiming "the Japanese use girlfriend to mean female friend" dude the Japanese themselves translated gaarufurendo to mean "girlfriend" in the original game (the dialogue of Zack's parents) and they seem fully aware what we mean by "girlfriend", I'm pretty sure they mean the same thing (the Japanese wikipedia definitely does not make a distinction of "but we mean 'friend'" it just goes THE FEMALE LOVER IN A RELATIONSHIP why do I get so hung up on details to actually start looking stuff up?). But I still can't take the ultimania thing seriously because cheating is obviously not what CC's trying to portray and the specific line the "Which girlfriend" question is referring to is the same thing you've pointed out hasn't resurfaced since original game. (Plus, I'm not 100% sure "Which girlfriend" is supposed to mean "they are all current girlfriends"? I mean in the original game convo this is referring to you'd be hardpressed to say even Aerith is actually still his girlfriend. So it's like if you look at that as "which old girlfriend" then it's like lmfao yeah he's still kind of a womanizer, but it's not the same as two-timing. In the end that particular Ultimania bit is all along about Zack causing Aerith grief with his flirting so it's not exactly positive of their relationship, no matter how you translate "gaarufurendo". \o_o/ In the end the whole thing is like aaaaaaand this is why I shouldn't take LTD seriously, no one can even agree on translation.)
I'd read that AU for Cloud. But yeah, I just love the strangeness of his name. And his genera strangeness.
I started looking at journals on amazon and now I'm imagining (assuming they splurged a tiny bit because it's going to be for each other) this by Tifa for Aerith; ...and then by Tifa for Aerith I couldn't decide, there is the nice and simple red (Aerith would be sure Tifa likes that color, both for her eyes and because she wears bits of it), or something that's still simple but has a little bit of elegance to it like this (and I realized while looking at it that the color's actually teenage Tifa's dress at the well but. Maybe she told Aerith teal was her favorite color. or they could just have a version in the bluer color.)
And then I was also laughing at Tifa spotting this cheesy but kind of cute journal for the first time and thinking "I only mentioned having a cat once, and that was offhand..." (Also: "I see you managed to include pink and flowers in there." "They're cheerful! Who doesn't like them? Are you telling me you don't like them, Tifa?" "N-no, I just... Hee. I shouldn't be surprised you picked this one, huh?" "IT'S CUTE." "Yes. It is. H, hehehe...")
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-08-22 09:22 pm (UTC)Haha - ah don't worry, I wasn't intending to take the appeal to Cetra too far (though a crack scenario is now amusing - somehow Cloud winds up time-travelling and is then pursued across the planet by legions of Cetra), and I'm not entirely sure how to work that into a semi-serious scenario anyway. Ack for the sleeping issues! I used to have real trouble ever getting to sleep and spent absolutely ages trying at nights and just lying there - and I've had the random waking up thing as well - always feels even if you drop off to sleep straight-away you never get enough sleep that way.
Heh - yeah I saw the post where "girlfriend" had been switched for female friend in a less then accurate move, and yeah its decidedly unlikely that's not meant as a romantic partner. Getting hung up on detail is good though! Always better to find out the truth where possible. And very true, CC never seems to be portraying Zack as cheating, and this feels like it feeds into the doubting what the Ultimania says. Its one thing for an in-game quote, or a specific quote from the creative team - those passages being discussed read like body text whose authorship is in severe doubt now. So not only does the querying of which girlfriend refer to a scene carefully avoided in every subsequent release, the posed question is coming from a potentially less informed source, as really, who Zack was referring to in that scene is almost always assumed to be Aeris. Presumably the writer just wanted to highlight all Zack's possible relationships. And I'd definitely concur that even with that the "Which girlfriend" is unlikely to mean they're all current - as per in-game events the closest Zack gets with Cissnei is an invitation to dinner, and the praising the Turk (if I remember the rants correctly - I ill-advisedly saw Stray-Arrows rather smug take on this latest debacle. In between the animated gifs is a lot of trashing of Zack's character. And yet she'll happily ship him with Tifa apparently. Pair the disliked characters together?), and even those are prior to meeting Aeris I think (and even if not, its not exactly cheating). Heh - yeah by that time-period Aeris doesn't really count as his girlfriend either; so I'd agree, it does make Zack seem a womanizer but not a two-timer (I think someone noted that Zidane goes that much further in flirting with multiple women but he never gets this kind of scorn).
And indeed the Ultimania passage is not positive of the relationship no matter how it's taken. And heh - yeah best not to take the LTD seriously/not take the Ultimanias as any kind of canon-basis as it seems like a needless comment on a scene that in VII has 0 in-game evidence and is extremely questionable even with CC and BC in-place.
Glad the AU idea is at least of interest (I would find it a slight pain to write as I imagine Cloud is going to have the typical break-down where he denies his existence/since all his memories are false he must be false/how could Aeris or Tifa ever really like him. The usual complete ignoring that everything after his creation/when he started behaving on his own motives are genuinely his own memories and feelings and those aren't false - and while he might not be who he thinks his friends do care for him)!
Oh, those are great suggestions - the first idea for Aeris from Tifa has a nice rightness to it, and it'd be hard to choose between the red and teal ones (and that it links back to Tifa's dress is a nice touch). Ah the cat one is tempting too (and I like the little dialogue there)! Definitely going to keep those in mind for how they look.
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-08-23 07:26 pm (UTC)I think I'm mostly annoyed because there's still people right now trying to say "the Japanese mean friend by girlfriend" and it's just like...yeah, I'm sure that's why "girlfriend" is the title of what looks to be a dating sim >_> I'm annoyed at people being all authoritative and it's like where are your sources even but it's what people want to hear so they just go with it and this is another reason why the LTD is dumb. (Also because Danseru has criticized Cleriths for this in the past while it's like BUT PEOPLE AT TLS DOESN'T DO THIS AT ALLLLLLLL uh huh. Sure.)
Yeah, very likely just the writer wanting to highlight all of Zack's relationships, because it was definitely Aerith being referenced in that truck dialogue (after all--Aerith was the only named girl with any hinted romantic relationship to Zack at the time of that conversation).
Zack also flirts with a secretary, but as that's a DMW sequence it's really hard to tell when any of those take place; that one could easily have been before he met Aerith, as Zack still has his first hairstyle, not the one he adopts after Angeal's death.
Does SA ship Tifa and Zack? I don't think I really caught onto that. Definitely sounds kind of pair the spares-y there. (Actually to be honest when I got the anon ask yesterday about the "trauma" of finding out Zack was a cheater I was thinking "how likely is it that this is SA...")
Well, the Zidane and Garnet romance is much cleaner than the Zack and Aerith romance (which gets tied up in unhappiness at Aerith's characterization in CC, bashing of Aerith for trying to move on in OGC) so it is pretty understandable to me that it's Zack who does get focused on rather than Zidane, who is an incorrigible flirt at the beginning but isn't like, flirting with anyone else in the third disc that I remember (meanwhile Zack wasn't really flirting with Cissnei then, but SE was trying to do subtext with them that late in the game, and that itself is kind of um writers. and then ultimania fans flames).
Haha I have to admit the process of Cloud's breakdown in the area does interest me--but that's probably why I do things like I am now, roleplaying him against a Zack and he's cautiously happy to see Zack again up until the point it actually sinks in that Zack has no idea what's happened since his death and now he's at "Zack is only happy to see me because he has no idea how badly I've messed up" and it's just OH CLOUD. Sometimes it's interesting to explore what's going on in a negative mindset? In small doses.
My favorite of the journals is definitely the teal one, though I could see doing it in different colors too--it's the style I really love.
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-08-23 09:12 pm (UTC)Oof; yeah the insistence that the term "girlfriend" doesn't necessarily mean the same thing in Japanese really doesn't ring true given the other in-game/in book uses of the same phrase, and yeah given its a loan word as well it feels to me that it would only have one reading; this isn't a kanji which can be read different ways depending on context - loan words as far as I understood it are pretty ubambiguous. And yeah there is so much authority in some of these arguments but no sources/back up for what they're claiming - but yes, it is what people want to hear so they're parroting it/going along with it. The LTD is reeeeeally dumb. And yeah, it is a tad hypocritical that Danseru criticized people like that when the TLS clearly has altered a word due to the connotations attached.
And so very true! Actually the whole note about Aeris being the only one Zack's conversation can be referencing is tied up in my other gripes about the current LTD, CC and the Compilation in general. I keep seeing these long posts about how wonderful Zack/Aeris is and so much seems to centre around Aeris wearing the ribbon, wearing pink, selling her flowers - and this is so often taken as proof of how strong the relationship is. I'm not going to knock Zack/Aeris as a pair (but still maintain the stance that CC is not the relationship that VII implied), but those claims always niggle me for much the same reasons as that post we both reblogged a while back accusing the FFVII cast of being jerks - the holding up VII as the sequel to CC rather then CC changing the reasoning behind aspects of VII, and in several cases failing to cleanly integrate. It's just that the proof in so many of these essays is retconned in and it bothers me as it keeps getting treated like it was always the plan, when by every account its a huge alteration to Aeris's character and so much of how we originally met here is now wholesale attributed to Zack for no real good reason. Little bit ranty there. But yeah the truck scene was written and produced at a time without Cissnei, without the other female Turk and without the secretary - there was no other girl to refer to. Aeris only assumed he cheated on her, and just saying that Zack loved women never explicitly suggests he cheated on her either.
Ah, I'd forgotten about the secretary flirting, but yeah I would place that prior to meeting Aeris as well when every woman Zack talked to thought he was hitting on them. Plus... the idea that Zack would cheat on Aeris feels like a bizarre thing for CC to suggest or even hint at given how moral he is through the game and how he wants to do the right thing. Difficult to see that Zack even contemplating cheating (OGC is more of a blank-slate, but as you noted so long ago, the idea of Aeris dating a jerk just doesn't sit right). And even playing devil's advocate and saying maybe he had more then one girlfriend (for which the evidence is lacking), it might not be typically acceptable, but there's no doubt that Zack loves Aeris in CC.
I never did really like the Ultimanias as a canon source, and after the information you've turned up I feel better about ignoring them now (it does kind of explain the weird time-line as well to some extent). Plus as you said at one point, all this reliance on non-officially translated text feels iffy anyway (and lead to the koibito arguments. What amused me about that was for the Reunion Files there is for a change an official english translation for the phrase and they chose sweetheart).
SA does "ship" Zack/Tifa. It came up a while back in conjunction with the Emperor/Empress matching outfits; she was claiming SE clearly paired them up as they're both in school uniforms. It feels a decidedly weak argument (in an unrelated game with out of game clothing. And is... effectively the *sole* implication at that pairing. CC doesn't even vaguely hint at it). And "shipping" the couple feels a rather strong term given the vitriol I've seen directed at both of them (and I think any explanation from this is going to expose its an attack on another pairing seen as unfavourable. Or at least its amazingly difficult to see shipping is possible with character hate. It goes back to that point you made a while back; its easy to see not caring for a character unless they're paired with someone else/they bring the best out in each other, but to repeatedly and forcibly state a hatred and then to safely dispose of the spared characters like that doesn't feel genuine). Ah, I saw your ask, and yeah I do have to wonder if it was one of the more vocal anti-Zack/Aeris group. "Trauma" indeed. I think the fandom has to start ignoring those books as evidence - even if they were translated into English, people would be obsessing over the translation differences, and since the authorship is so questionable...
Fair point; Zidane/Garnet is much cleaner in romance terms/doesn't contend with characterization issues with an additional game/that strange bashing of Aeris for daring to move on. I really do like when you highlight this to people; not only has it been five years, Aeris has heard nothing from her boyfriend - its up to her if she wants to move on. I get the feeling at times that the fandom just doesn't ever want ambiguity; they want the relationships completely and rigidly clear-cut - it's Zack/Aeris and Tifa/Cloud (well or Zack/Cissnei and Cloud/Aeris from the other direction) with no questions, no doubts, no changes in feelings, no temptations etc. And indeed Zidane does completely tail off on flirting from what I rememebr, while Zack does somewhat sillily have some moments with Cissnei later on. And as you say the Ultminia is just fanning the flames...
True, it is interesting to explore the negative mindset like that; I think I've just run into it a few too many times with the losing all hope before someone insists their new memories can't be anything other then their own. So as long as it doesn't go on too long... But yeah, it is interesting to suddenly call into question everything Cloud ever knew/remembered like that. In small does. And oh Cloud from your example.
Yeah, I like the style of the teal one too; sort of half-way between a Tolkien-esque journal and a modern diary.
(sorry if this got a bit ranty in places)
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-08-25 12:41 pm (UTC)No haha I completely agree on the Aerith/game order rant--I so dislike that it attributes so much of her character to him (she was wearing ribbons before meeting him!) Like, it is sweet in a way, and I actually have included it in my rp/fic at times. But along with how she's portrayed in CC it just comes off as promoting Zack without caring about the already established characters, at least in Cloud and Aerith's cases.
Plus... the idea that Zack would cheat on Aeris feels like a bizarre thing for CC to suggest or even hint at given how moral he is through the game and how he wants to do the right thing.
Haha, pretty much. I still like the idea for OGC that Zack is just being pragmatic and frayed and having bigger priorities--he doesn't know Aerith still loves him, he just knows it's been five years so yeesh she's probably found someone new, plus even though he's cheerful with Cloud it always seems Zack should have some emotional/mental/just flat out stress issues himself after four years of captivity and Hojo so it's just. ROMANCE? haha ha ha ha, he thinks, let's just get to a place where me and Cloud can rest for a week without having to worry about being recaptured or dying and then the romance thing can be revisited. (To be honest my favorite Zack fics/rpers as a rule account for the fact that Zack probably wasn't getting through that series of events without a few serious mental cracks himself, though he managed to keep himself together enough to keep moving.) Other interpretations are perfectly possible, but that's the one I like. (and then they scrapped that anyway with CC and making getting to Midgar ALL ABOUT being with Aerith again.)
Haha, I had the same thought about the timeline a few days ago--"Oh wait! This means I can safely ignore it now!" OH HAPPY DAY because yeah, the timeline is kind of. ???
Oh yeah lmfao the matching outfits thing. I'm kind of wondering if SA was trying to be sarcastic and flopped, but that's giving too much credit (it was certainly not sarcasm in the case of Cloud and Aerith). And yeah, as far as we know Tifa doesn't have any concern about Zack at all beyond knowing he was the SOLDIER at Nibelheim. SORRY MAN YOU MADE NO IMPRESSION ON HER (which. then makes it even more annoying that SE thought he needed to influence something of hers, too. WTF is he naming the bar for.) And yeah, ignoring the books (and bizarro hate shipping) sounds good.
I do feel like the fandom hates ambiguity, especially given the reactions to the Zack as possibly cheating thing (I still just find the insistence on reduction to "female friends" really odd, and something about the logic of the response in one person's post had me headscratching a bit... not sure).
I think what I like about cases where all hope is lost is what they seeing they decide to do. I mean, if Cloud just flops over and mopes for himself, that's going to be annoying. But we were talking once about an AU where Cloud is a copy, but he meets the "real" Cloud and tries to get him to help the others and tries to help himself from a distance (because in his mind, they only want the "real" Cloud)...and that would be interesting to me too. Or really any where Cloud finds this out and reacts in a strong, believable way, even if it's entirely negative (which is essentially what the fic with him absorbing Tifa's consciousness is). It just needs a reaction at some point. Which--lol Cloud in my example has actually been put off from that at the moment. What made me laugh was the Zack player is someone I talk to on plurk and they read my Cloud's reaction to realizing Zack didn't know about Aerith or anything like that and their comment was "As soon as he alludes to any of that aloud he's getting punched in the back of the head" because, well obviously Zack wouldn't do the literal punch (probably. Barret would) but he'd just be SO UNHAPPY with Cloud's logic. But Zack's reaction to Cloud getting obviously uneasy was to understandably insist that whatever was bugging him wasn't something he needed to worry about, they were lucky enough to see each other again so they should focus on that so now Cloud's on BE HAPPY, DAMMIT. I'm really just amused by Cloud tying himself up in weird emotional knots. ...And then they totally got sidetracked by Cloud referencing "the kids" and Zack being all holy crap did Cloud make babies the moment I wasn't looking so yes. The thread's a bit jump-y because I'm rusty, but I'm having fun with it so far. As you can tell by my rambling.
(and hey, not to worry about the ranty ranty--I was/have been like that myself through the last few comments, so. XD)
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-08-25 04:31 pm (UTC)Ack! The ribbon! I keep remembering this and then forgetting/failing to mention it. The ribbon aspect really annoys me; everyone seems to conveniently overlook Aeris is clearly wearing a very similar ribbon aged seven. It seems unlikely this can be the same ribbon she normally wears, but its enough to suggest that she likes wearing a ribbon in her hair and has done for years. CC's presentation of Zack buying it for her gives the impression this is a new thing for her and she wouldn't have done so without meeting him. What also kills me is that this moment could have gelled *so easily* with VII with a tiny bit of dialogue:
Zack hands over ribbon
Aeris: Thank you! It's just like the one my mother gave me.
And all would be fine; Zack can give her a ribbon but its importance is diminished/its a replacement for something she has lost/misplaced/is too worn to use anymore. And I agree it would be a sweet aspect to the game if it wasn't contradicting the spirit of the original game (as must be grudgingly admitted in most cases there's nothing to contradict elements of CC per se, it just ramps up the implausibility that they have been forgotten about), and I can see the appeal of using it. But as you say, its all for the purposes of promoting Zack rather then giving more insight into Aeris and as a result she loses character (despite a lot of vehement defenses that Aeris makes it through CC unscathed. Fearful of the sky rarely gets mentioned here) as so much is sourced from Zack. I kind of wanted to write a retort post demanding explanations for every other character's costume - sure we know how Cloud (which was pragmatism again) and Aeris's have been derived, so why don't we know about Tifa's or the others? But then that would get kinda fraught very quickly since the answer in almost every other case is its logical remnants of their pasts/totally unknown, so I'll refrain from that.
I full endorse the Zack being pragmatic in the OGC. It has a right feeling to it that he can't believe she could have waited all that time. It'd be nice, it'd be a huge confidence boost to him, but she's a real person and vanishing for five years is unlikely to paint him in the best light. So she would have moved on by now. And that is a good point he likely would have some issues after what he's just been through (it... is a little unbelievable that Zack does seemingly suffer everything with no ill-effects. I think Scribbler came the closest to having Zack actually start crumbling, but even then Aeris was able to help him. But he's usually shown to be completely mentally balanced and unaffected by the process. I get the impression there are others I just haven't run across them yet). And indeed! Worrying about romance isn't going to high on his priority list; get hidden, get Cloud safe/preferably back on his feed, not die. The romance thing is very much for later... I would concur that Zack damaged by the process feels much more righter or at least more realistic (and perfectly in line with OGC since there are so many gaps. CC doesn't lend itself as well).
Haha! Yeah, I was ignoring the timeline anyway, but its nice to hear its safe to as well. And yeah, it was just bafflingly weird (and I wonder if some of the fandom latched onto it as it makes age calculations much easier for AC and DoC and post-game fics...)
I'd agree I think that would be too much credit with SA (and its still the claim she shipped them as SE clearly intended. Despite hating the characters). And very true, Zack made no impression on Tifa at all (I admit to there being a kind of appeal to Zack/Tifa, but its a pseudo-crack pairing - they at least met/talked to each other; even if all romantic aspects require invention), and yeah it was frustrating to have Zack influence the Seventh Heaven naming as well. As a friend commented to me (he's more aggressively dismissive of anything past the original game), the problem with CC's portrayal of Zack is that he's so well known and so influential that his disappearance and complete non-mention after that are really, really odd. Haha - oh yeah, ignoring all the books (even the Case ofs since they have niggles, Maiden is nice but keeps getting dragged out as a crutch which is certainly not why it was written and the Ultimanias... enough said) and the hate shipping is stressful.
Yeah the insistence of reduction to female friends is odd; is it not enough that the idea Zack could cheat is unacceptable, but the idea that he dated someone else is as well? And actually that might feed into some of the dismissal of Cloud/Aeris. I only heard about it but for "Kannagi" I think, some fans were incensed when the manga suggested that the female lead had had another boyfriend in the past (to the extent they stopped reading/destroyed all copies of the book/anime they had) - and I'm just wondering if something similar (if much more low-key) is happening to Zack and Aeris to some fans; its unacceptable that Zack could have dated anyone before Aeris as she's his true love, and its unacceptable Aeris could move on from Zack because he's her true love. Which would be uncomfortable but mostly understandable in some romance affair, but feels really alien in FFVII. And I do still read people saying that Aeris is still getting over Zack in VII, which feels a remarkably long time to do so; five years with no contact for a relationship which was never depicted as especially intense (I do get the sense I overlook emotional intensity as that also seems to be a main-stay of the CC defenders, but it feels off for the relationship to be apparently that strong when Aeris and Zack haven't even kissed, let alone been especially intimate by all canon accounts. There is a lot of repetition that they can be passionate without much physical contact/sex and its also regularly applied to Cloud and Tifa as well. It has a kind of invented feel to it, this passion/feelings we can't directly see or have conveyed to us are vital to arguments - and soooo much of that is right out of the Ultimanias as well!).
Ah! Yeah, all too often I see a protagonist flop and mope when confronted with their fake memories before needing an external agent to drag them back up/tell them it doesn't matter and they get back into their groove (see also romance plot-lines where the protagonist hears *exactly* the wrong part or the wrong conversation, jumps to a conclusion and goes off to sulk. I just want to reach through the screen and shake these characters every single time for never attempting to discuss things). But the strong, believable action sounds a lot more appealing - whichever way it pans out. Ah! I remember that AU idea, and that was really neat idea - and yeah convincing himself they want the "real" Cloud rather then him. (It reminds me of the The Simpsons amusingly; when the real Principal Skinner returns and the fake one steps aside thinking its for the best - until the town rebels and reinstates him as they want the person who's been living there all these years and they know rather then the nebulous real Skinner).
Haha; the RP was fun to read, and I do like the way the kids distracted everything (I can see Zack feeling kind of proud of Cloud for having fathered some children). And yeah, Cloud does do emotional knots so very easily... And can definitely see Zack being unhappy with Cloud's logic like that.
Hehe - not to worry, I've used the wrong word so many times! (at least it made sense to me you meant comments when you said comics. Not like when I transposed "not" and "now" to really confuse a sentence)
And yeah, we have been ranting a fair bit; its just it is frustrating to see elements of the original game dismissed so readily in favour of one of the Compilation entries, or all the reliance on the books... It must be said though, the FFVII fandom does seem (for the most part. There is the occasional flare-up, but still nothing as involved) kind of tame to the past Harry Potter fandom; I got sidelined last night reading an exhaustive account of a shipper using multiple accounts to variously promote/attack herself to ingratiate into the fandom/quite how messy the pairing situations were at times with the Harry/Ginny, Hermione/Harry or Hermione/Ron lot in various configurations of acceptability in each other's eyes (it was actually interesting to read that Harry/Ginny was a think seemingly a fair way before the books brought it in - and it was dismissed by many as not going to happen...).
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-08-26 04:35 pm (UTC)And the fear of the sky was ridiculous, and it's not helped by the fact that CC does nothing to 1) explain where it's from or 2) show it being overcome by Aerith. It's just lazy writing about it being resolved (we only know it is because of original game) and it's just. argh. And sadly it's probably better they didn't show it being resolved because it would have been about ~how Zack influenced Aerith~ again /shoves him off a cliff look he's a SOLDIER he can survive that
To be honest though I just really like Aerith so I hate people trying to make all her traits from other people. Like there was a Tseng roleplayer who wanted Tseng to have essentially manipulated her into learning how to use a staff (because he wanted her to protect herself and he knew she wouldn't take it directly from him) and it's like OH SCREW THAT did everyone forget about her being street smart in the original game? She learned how to use a staff because she knew she could find herself in trouble. My sole concession to compilation in this case is that, going with CC leaving that wolf Angeal-copy with her, she first started practicing with him watching over her and he did sometimes help her out when she got in over her head actually now I'm amused at the mental image of him divebombing Reno or Tseng or both at least once to make them stop bothering her. But it's just. Argh. Like she wouldn't figure it out if it was from Tseng?? Like she couldn't have thought on her own "Hey, I keep finding myself in trouble, I want to be able to keep myself safe"? /ranty
(it... is a little unbelievable that Zack does seemingly suffer everything with no ill-effects. I think Scribbler came the closest to having Zack actually start crumbling, but even then Aeris was able to help him. But he's usually shown to be completely mentally balanced and unaffected by the process. I get the impression there are others I just haven't run across them yet)
I think this might be more a thing in LJ/DWRP, or that it might be the way it pops up in fics it's not really registering as a serious issue? Like in the rp with Zack/Cloud/Aerith Zack was, most of the time, the level-headed and emotionally open one. Cloud was the problem child, and Aerith caused one or two incidents with the guys wanting to protect her and her trying to protect THEM by outright cutting them out of the loop, and Zack was pretty much the one who teamed up with whichever of them was still being reasonable to either cajole the current drama queen into calming down or scold them or--whatever was going on, he pretty much got set on fixing it. But he did have incidents where he got weird; there was at least one time he got so upset remembering something from the labs that he outright left for the bar because he couldn't talk to Cloud about it at all (I'm pretty sure there were others too, but some of this was before I started with Aerith/a long time ago anyway), and toward the end of my run (so sadly this issue did not quite get resolved, I wasn't sure how to proceed in it) he was affected by an event of the roleplay that caused people to have hallucinations and he outright broke things like walls when he was made to hallucinate being trapped in the labs again. Once he snapped out of it he went straight back to peppy and cheerful, sheepishly laughing off the incident...until Cloud called him out on hiding his feelings with a smile, and then he snapped at Cloud. And there was a long conversation with all of this and toward the end Cloud realized that with Zack being so dead set on protecting him from his memories of the labs, he wouldn't be able to get him to open up on this, so Cloud discreetly asked Aerith to help Zack because they were both really worried about how strong Zack's reaction had been and that Zack was basically not allowing himself to be upset about things that he had good reason to be upset about (and Aerith did try to get him to open up at least one time after this, but... :/ well, I flopped in rp activity a short while after). And I know other players played it in a way like this too; like, honestly, I remember player commentary on the state of Zack's mind post-labs because it usually came off as funny in a sad way (player commentary: "Oh right Zack you just go sleep off years of mental/emotional/physical abuse" "are you saying his tried-and-true method hasn't worked and kept him sane all this time, HMMM" "Zack's not sane. He's just not destructive in his insanity." "...Point." Or like in another game the FFVII crew was looking at the Ultimania timeline which gives nine months for Zack and Cloud being on the run, which I actually think is pretty reasonable, but they found weird compared to the game timeline (also understandable), but also just. Given that length of time, they pretty much agreed that Zack was the BEST NURSE EVER and MOST AWESOME FRIEND for believing Cloud could hear him that entire time, and also probably a little off-kilter and emotionally dependent on Cloud's survival and would have fallen apart if Cloud had died, which is the premise of at least one fic floating around out there...). Like, I wouldn't expect Zack to flip out the same way Sephiroth or Dyne, violently, or even the way Cloud does, denying everything (although actually, I'd probably be willing to buy him having some kind of break from reality in a fic if even more stuff happened). But I can definitely see him having emotional issues and just plain being worn ragged and clinging to a smile even when he should be able to admit that nothing is okay at the moment.
There have been some fic/rp takes that go too far to the dysfunctional extreme with it (again, he DID get himself and Cloud across continents--there was an RP Zack who literally would lose himself in memories and sit in acid rain and that was just "uh...") but I do think CC's take on it is really idealized too/skims over possibilities that might have been interesting.
Well, I think your friend is pretty right with the HOW IMPORTANT IS ZACK thing. I was actually thinking about the Zack/Tifa last night and it being pretty much crack because what was supposed to attract them to each other? and remembered that I have seen serious arguments for it but they're usually...anti-Cloud/Tifa and vaguely anti-Tifa OR anti-Cloud for their reasoning... which is that given her desire for a SOLDIER to protect her and her seeming most impressed with the SOLDIER!Cloud (from some conversations, like her being proud of him for getting in), Zack would be what she really wants (which...ignores the fact that she's okay with Cloud as he really is) and would be best for her given her frustrations with Cloud (...CoT did not really help there). So then this usually comes off as putting down either Cloud or Tifa, either Cloud for not meeting her expectations or vaguely Tifa for having unrealistic expectations that fit only a really idealized person (with this take usually also painting Zack as something of a Gary Stu). And... yeah. Zack/Tifa is occasionally fun as "these two look hot together" but trying to make it work in the canon pretty much just leads to sketchiness as far as I've seen.
heoih I don't even like Maiden I get so annoyed at the "thoughtlessly selling flowers" line orz
And I do still read people saying that Aeris is still getting over Zack in VII, which feels a remarkably long time to do so; five years with no contact for a relationship which was never depicted as especially intense (I do get the sense I overlook emotional intensity as that also seems to be a main-stay of the CC defenders, but it feels off for the relationship to be apparently that strong when Aeris and Zack haven't even kissed, let alone been especially intimate by all canon accounts. There is a lot of repetition that they can be passionate without much physical contact/sex and its also regularly applied to Cloud and Tifa as well. It has a kind of invented feel to it, this passion/feelings we can't directly see or have conveyed to us are vital to arguments - and soooo much of that is right out of the Ultimanias as well!).
I HAVE TO ADMIT I was a little confused when I first read this because I've been pretty much reading the Cloud/Aerith sex fic as Aerith still getting over Zack? Although you're probably talking about the intensity off her feelings about Zack/how much progress she does/doesn't make in getting over him--because I do think she is getting over him myself, but I also think it's not so much the end of the relationship itself as that, going by Crisis Core's ending/the parallel of Elmyra's husband coming back to see her and dying and Aerith hearing this in OGC, she heard Zack die and she still cared about him so that was a big shock for her (especially if as in CC he'd hoped to see her and she heard that). But saying she didn't get over him at all so can't love Cloud is my "lol NOPE" point.
It is kind of weird though that for how strong Zack/Aerith or Cloud/Tifa or heck, even Cloud/Aerith is supposed to be, we...don't really see intimacy between them. Cloud and Tifa have a clear distance in the children's room the whole time, their only contact is when Cloud is holding her protectively or she's helping him get to Bahamut (which, yay, team-building exercise). Then Cloud/Aerith is similar, he holds her protectively (or to bury her :( ) and getting to Bahamut
but hey they also have the moment of standing back to back and her touching his arm. yes I do like that.Both Cloud/Aerith and Cloud/Tifa in the original game has moments of them leaning by/sitting close to Cloud. And then Zack/Aerith probably has the most touching going on (Zack tying Aerith's ribbon, her playfully shoving him, the hug after Angeal's death) but even that's like... okay two of these examples are from before them going steady and the third is an example of comfort and yeah it is really hard to think of anything that is just WE ARE TOUCHING EACH OTHER BECAUSE WE WANT TO TOUCH EACH OTHER ~IN LOVE~. Except the girls' original game gestures and that is hilarious considering they were all blocky legos then....I have not seen enough of the Simpsons, I never realized there was a fake Skinner/real Skinner thing going on. XD
I definitely think the FFVII fandom has had more TIME to calm down, both fandoms are about the same age but Harry Potter's built up through subsequent releases while Compilation was a bit more rocky (no new English releases until AC in 200...5, I think? flops in the form of Dirge, not nearly as many things going on, broken fanbase) so I think part of it is the LTD not being as vehement. But also probably that, yeah, while Cloud has a lot of potential ships it's only ever been two warring for 'legitimacy', meanwhile Harry people got plenty ideas about different things of how they thought he'd end up... Also Harry/Ginny was really suggested in the first book Ginny appeared in; she had a massive crush on him. It's just that Harry didn't come to reciprocate until late on, but I don't think it's surprising that some people would have been shipping it in since the Chamber of Secrets (and then they were probably feeling very smug by the end...)
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