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raajActually this time I'm not really upset about anything I've written. It's that what I've written isn't yet fitting into a cohesive thing. I can't seem to get a handle on what the driving points for these parts are, and as a result I'm pretty much getting to the point where I can't even make myself write more for it: I tweak stuff, rearrange sections, and... so little is actually properly complete as a scene or transitioning into each other because I don't know what scenes I even want to keep (this is way too long considering no scene in here is actually all the way complete). So yeah, warning, this is seriously messy to read.
Kind of debating just posting the first chapter as its own standalone and leaving the rest, well, alone. I like the idea of the story, it's the telling I can't figure out.
To start off with, HERE IS A BIT I CAN ACTUALLY CONSIDER COMPLETE even if I don't know it'll appear in the final draft of the story. (In fact it almost seems like with a bit of editing it could probably be its own thing as Tifa introspection.)
Cloud tells her, Aerith sent him a dream. That's how he knew she's headed for the City of the Ancients.
It doesn't hurt. Not harshly. The thought just sits there in Tifa's mind, lacking the good grace to know it's long overstayed its welcome.
A dream of peace and a promise. It sounds like something from a fairy tale, a more ethereal romance. It tempts a daydreamer to believe in soulmates—which, to be honest, Tifa never really has before. Cloud was her sweetheart always, her soulmate never. There is a connection, an understanding implied in 'soulmates' that she has never been able to pretend to with the blond, whose blue eyes hide thoughts she can't fathom. Even when they were both kids, he was hard to understand. She remembers that. It's getting harder to remember anything else about their friendship now.
If she had been made to claim anyone on this Planet as her soulmate...she thinks she would have said Aerith, the beautiful woman with hopeful green eyes. They had clicked so quickly, always breaking off from the others to do something together or teaming up when someone stubborn needed convincing, often without words. But--
But Aerith sent Cloud the dream. And for Tifa, there had only been a lie and excuse about why and where she was going out. "Stretching my legs!" Right. Aerith was stretching her legs across two continents.
Tifa understands well enough why she was lied to. Oh, she disagrees with it, but she understands. She would have stopped Aerith, she would have insisted on coming along, and even in the dream (as Cloud says, since she didn't have it) her friend didn't want to be followed. Rationally, it makes sense why Aerith carried things out the way she did, wanting what she did, even if Tifa Lockhart chafes at being kept away. So it doesn't hurt, not harshly.
But it still stings. That she was lied to. That Cloud got a proper explanation in their dream. Heh, "their" dream. If two people can share a dream, they really are connected, aren't they? In a bond that space and distance itself can't stretch out to fray.
Tifa had already known that night in Gold Saucer that she was going to get left behind. Once Aerith had made up her mind to pursue Cloud... Tifa hadn't even been able to choose then, or now, which one she loved more, which one she should confess to, and they'd been drawing ever steadily closer to each other. But to think, she'd been worried about something as ordinary as them kissing, when as it just so happened Aerith could touch Cloud's soul halfway around the world.
Had she ever stood a chance in this little love triangle?
So that's that. And then, backtracking a bit, here is the odds and ends and I swear I just cannot write anything long.
Aerith slept. Tifa didn't, keeping watch over her when she wasn't fretting over Cloud. He was dead to the world; wouldn't wake. But then, it was a near unanimous sentiment to let him take his time on that account. On the other hand Aerith needed to be woken up, every couple of hours, to make sure the concussion wasn't affecting her—it was never easy to tell with those if restorative materia had fully done the job. The smallness of Gongaga's inn meant a short patrol for Tifa as she paced between the two beds opposite each other in the tiny circular room, trying to count down the time and weighing counter impulses between letting Aerith recover from her exhaustion and wanting to make sure she would still wake, as well as to see if she might be able to explain any more of just what had happened in the pit that had been the Temple's foundation. One or two of the other members of their party were always in the inn as well, but the whole nine-man team was simply too big for the establishment, and after some discussion (and arguing, and uncertain looks that had hurt with their aim), they were mostly split up throughout the town. Gathering supplies and trying to figure out their next move, ostensibly.
Playing a waiting game as they wondered if the world might really come to an end.
The first time Aerith was carefully shook awake, she'd immediately spoken Cloud's name as a question, turning her head sharply to try catching sight of him. When she spotted him, the relieved sigh that passed her lips almost hurt to hear. "He's here, yeah," Tifa said needlessly. "We're back in Gongaga."
"He hasn't woken up?"
"No." The concern in Aerith's faint voice was heartening and frustrating all at once. If she was worried for Cloud even now, did she really not blame him? Tifa was glad for that, but she wanted to know why, so everyone could be reassured. …So she could be okay with the fact that Aerith was still bruised and disheveled from an assault that could have killed her, and already forgiving. "Aerith, do you think you can stay awake for a little while? We still don't know what happened down there…what happened to you and Cloud. And the Black Materia is…"
Tifa was already bracing herself as her friend's face grew dark and pinched, upset. The flower girl broke her gaze from their still-sleeping friend to answer: "Sephiroth has it."
A curse floated from the doorway; of course Cid was listening. Vincent surely was too, if more controlled in his reactions. After she'd carried Aerith out of the pit, Barret after her hauling Cloud like a sack of potatoes, Nanaki and Cait Sith had called up that they couldn't find the Black Materia in the pit. Tifa and Barret had each done a quick check of their unconscious passengers, but the materia seemed to have vanished. Immediately the gunman had yelled down demanding if this wasn't another fast one being pulled by Shinra, but Cait Sith was adamant that he'd done nothing fishy in the few minutes he'd been down in the pit—as though Nanaki's sharp eyes and hearing wouldn't have caught him out; they could check him too if they wanted! And it was testament to the tension running through the group that even with everyone aware of how unlikely the possibility was, Vincent actually did check the robot, just to put the nail in that coffin and lay it to rest. The narrow window of circumstance left a short list of suspects, and Sephiroth's name had topped it as the group remembered his strange movements, how he could have slipped past even the most careful watch. Tifa's heart still knotted like a noose to hear it confirmed.
"Then he's going to summon Meteor." And Nanaki's explanation of Sephiroth's plan for that particular spell had been chilling: if there was any truth in it, they were all in big trouble. If it was all true… the world really could come to an end.
"We still have time. He needs the Promised Land…" Aerith drifted off to silence, staring over Tifa's shoulder at what the fighter knew was just the brick wall of the hut; the room's entrance was on her other side.
"Aerith?"
Now she was looking at the door. And then the injured woman was trying to push herself off the bed. Even before her bruises made her stop short with a wince, Tifa was up on her feet, holding one hand out to stop her friend.
"No way. You need to rest."
"But, the Planet—"
"You said we still have time, right? So take a rest. You could tell me what it's saying." Not that Tifa really knew what to make of talking to the Planet; the only spirits she'd ever worked with were the alcoholic kind. But it was evident Aerith had talked to something in the temple…and even if she was the only who could hear it, that didn't mean others couldn't help her do whatever was needed, right?
There was so much tension knotted up in the brawler's limbs. She would have raced out and done just about anything, anything the Planet could ask, if it would fix this situation. If it would guarantee Cloud's eyes opening with clarity and calm, if it would mean Aerith could rest, if it would make everyone safe.
"I… I don't know. It's not clear," the Ancient admitted falteringly, sinking the hope of such a simple fix.
Tifa let out a slow breath. "Then we can't do anything yet. We need some sort of plan."
She had the strength to be firm, especially when the other woman's eyes were still murky with exhaustion; if Aerith wouldn't worry about herself, someone needed to. In the end the woman agreed to lie back down, 'for a little bit', and almost immediately slipped back into sleep. Tifa adjusted the pillow under the woman's head and fretted with the edges of her blanket, as her hands lacked anything better to do.
Cid summed up the situation: "Well, fuck!"
Cloud continued to sleep, and Tifa wondered, as she seemed to have countless times since finding him, what exactly was on his mind. Had he fully realized the trouble they were now in? Was that why had he snapped?
There still wasn't anything they could do, and it was starting to drive her mad.
Hours passed before Aerith was woken up again. The exhaustion in her eyes had turned into sadness. "Everyone's hurting."
That hit a little too close to home with how tense the group was, and Tifa shook her head. "What do you mean?"
"…Screaming…"
Tifa pursed her lips, sitting down by the side of the bed. Obviously her friend hadn't gotten the hoped-for restful sleep. "...Nanaki never heard Cloud scream."
"Ah?" Aerith's eyes flicked up to the ceiling without focusing on it. "...Oh." Her hands clasped gently under her chest, beginning to rise and fall with her breath. She closed her eyes for just a few seconds, and by the time Tifa recognized she might be praying--it was a gesture seen so rarely nowadays--her eyes were already open again. "No. I suppose he wouldn't have."
"I don't get it. What does that even mean? You were just hearing the Planet? But you sounded so sure he was hurt," Tifa blurted out, and almost winced at her pleading. But Aerith probably understood. She was concerned for Cloud too.
"I know what Cloud sounds like," Aerith said. Her voice was firm. "I've been listening, and watching, for him. For a while now. But I didn't know what to make of it."
Paying attention to Cloud? Tifa wasn't surprised, not after that night at the Gold Saucer, but that sting of petty jealousy was so slight at the moment. "Didn't know what to make of it?"
The other woman actually looked timid for a split-second, like she wanted to swallow back the very words she was clearly mulling over. "I thought... you would have said if something was really wrong with Cloud. You know him best of all of us."
For a moment, Tifa didn't react at all, her face slack at the unexpected statement. Aerith saw something wrong with Cloud too? So it wasn't just her... and then her cheeks colored at the implication she should have said something. And what would she have said? All she would have done was cast doubt on Cloud when she wasn't even sure he was the one wrong.
But any anger Tifa felt over the issue was pierced by the reality of where they were and where she'd wanted to be. Aerith herself had been laid up in bed by whatever was wrong with Cloud, and he was unconscious. Everyone was worried, even if they wouldn't show it. Would things be different if she'd said there was something off...? Tifa really had wanted to confide in someone all along. She'd wanted to confide in Aerith, she'd thought about it herself so many times, but the occasion had never been right.
No...she'd just never stopped being scared that the moment she admitted doubt in Cloud, she'd lose him again.
Aerith took in her silence and slowly nodded. "It's all right, Tifa. I could have said something too. It's pretty complicated, I guess... no, I know it is."
**
It was late in the night now since they'd gotten back from the temple. Tifa's body was already tired from travel and the scant sleep from the night before. She tried sitting down but the hard floors of the Gongaga Inn borne from poverty in the village made uncomfortable seating, little chance of resting on them. She found herself staring enviously at the beds. It was...those were the only way she could rest and be by Aerith and Cloud. Surely Aerith would not begrudge sharing the bed, right? Even after thinking it, and convincing herself of the truth of that thought, it still took Tifa a whole ten minutes to creep into the bed. She halted when Aerith's dark green eyes opened at her, but before she could apologize she realized there was no confusion or objection in them.
Aerith's hand lighted on her arm and tugged insistently. Tifa had to shift more and more into the bed, lying down beside her friend who curled in to nestle close. The girl's eyes were already closing again, but still Tifa wrapped one protective arm over her.
"It'll be all right," Tifa said quietly. "We're strong. We can get through this." Words she needed someone to say to her, words she knew Aerith needed to hear herself. It had to hurt, hearing the screams of a Planet. The screams of a friend as he was forced to betray. But Aerith was strong, stronger than her, smiling so often when there was little reason to. And she would shield Aerith, as much as possible.
She curled into Aerith, her head resting against the other girl's collarbone, thinking Aerith must be able to feel the lie of false confidence when she had to resist the urge to cling for dear life.
After a peaceful sleep that was too brief, that resistance failed when she felt the other woman pulling out from beneath her grasp; stuck between Tifa and the wall on each side, Aerith had decided instead to scoot downward along the bed and ease herself off its foot, slipping from beneath Tifa's arm. But Tifa's fingers tightened on her before the woman was fully out. "Aerith? Where are you going?"
"For a walk," Aerith said. "How long have I been asleep? It was much too long."
"No it wasn't. It was only..." Tifa was the one muddled by sleep now; she could tell Aerith how long she'd been asleep before being joined on the bed, but she had no idea of any track of time after that--the windowless state of the room definitely didn't help with that. She was so exhausted, her body's clock thoroughly out of sync, that it could have been morning, midnight, afternoon, how would she know?
She'd see outside. They were going on a walk. She pushed herself upright, trying to blink sleep from her eyes, but before she could swing up onto her feet there was a hand at her shoulder.
"Oh, Tifa. What are you doing?"
"I'll go with..."
"You've been watching over us this whole time, haven't you? You look so exhausted I feel like yawning all over again looking at you. Let yourself rest, Tifa."
Sleep did sound good. Really, really good—especially when the mere mention of yawning was suggestive enough for her traitorous mouth to do just that as soon as she opened it. "D...don't...go far. Everyone's been worried about you."
"I'll be back soon."
Tifa nodded, accepting her friend's word; though rather than lay back down, she dragged a bit of the blanket around her shoulders, feeling its extra warmth from body heat, and tracked Aerith blearily as she passed Yuffie with a smile and a blithe remark about needing to stretch her legs. She...did seem okay on her feet. Direct, not disoriented. So her concussion was truly healed then, a blessed reassurance. And she'd be back soon. Tifa wanted to wait for her to come back, but all too soon exhaustion pulled the caretaker back down into a blank, silent sleep.
"Tifa."
The body heat had dissipated. There was cold metal on her shoulder that made her fidget until realizing it was Vincent's metal claw resting on her, and then she jumped again because Vincent was never inclined to disturb others except for watch duty. "Wha, wha--is it my turn?" Were they taking turns here? She hadn't even thought to ask before.
Vincent ignored the question for the sleep-addled nonsense it was, instead crouching down slightly in front of the bed to meet her eyes. "Did Aerith tell you where she would be?"
"Out for a walk…she should be back soon."
His pale face was impassive. "She told Yuffie the same, but her 'walk' has been nearly four hours now."
Oh, God. She hadn't been well after all; she was probably collapsed in a faint somewhere. "We have to look for her—"
"We began searching two hours ago. She's not in the village," the former Turk summed up precisely, and Tifa felt both foolish and more frightened. Of course the others would have realized before now that something was wrong. Aerith could be easily distracted during her ventures, talk with locals turning "fifteen minutes" into "an hour" when the group was resting somewhere, but she was reliable when things got serious. Right now, they were dire. "We've begun sweeping the jungle… but it seemed prudent to check if she had said any more to you."
"No. She said she'd be right back… I don't understand. What could have happened?" The blanket's fabric became security as Tifa clutched it closer to her shoulders. "…We shouldn't have stopped here. Not after the last time. If Shinra took her—do you think she could have been?"
She was worrying now, openly fretting, and anyone else probably would have told her to calm down. At the moment, she was glad Vincent was the way he was, and willing to consider such possibilities. It still only took him a few seconds to shake his head. "There would have been a struggle. No one has seen or heard any evidence of that. I would say, more than likely… she's left of her own accord. Perhaps she finally made out what the Planet was telling her."
"You believe her, don't you, Vincent?"
"I've seen too much to be skeptical of such a claim." He straightened up. "We'll keep looking."
Tifa gritted her teeth, her hands folding up into fists. Damn it, why had her friend lied to her?! She wouldn't have stopped Aerith from going; she would have gone with, and kept an eye on her... someone else could watch Cloud, he was just sleeping, and he'd probably be okay, he hadn't even been injured, concerning as the assault on Aerith was.
**
When Cloud let out a soft moan, Tifa stopped still in her tracks, turning to him. Barret was also sharp at attention--enough to catch Tifa by the shoulder when the moaning continued and she started to approach Cloud, to wake him from the apparent nightmare.
Remembering what had happened when she'd shared a tent with Cloud near this town, she was glad for Barret's mindfulness. It was much too likely that he'd come back swinging, just as he'd gone out. It was already obvious as his jaw clenched and his fingers twitched that he was struggling against the dream.
"No...no! Come back!"
The next moment, Cloud's eyes opened, and they focused narrowly on Barret and Tifa. Clarity and calm were what she'd hoped would grace his expression, but he was wild-eyed and face twisted up, looking horrified.
He was aware, though. It was apparent by just how quickly his face settled again into something more controlled, even if his eyes still betrayed upset.
"You looked like you was havin' a nightmare," Barret told him. "How are you feeling?"
The first look Cloud gave him could easily have been interpreted as 'no shit', flat as it was. But the question seemed to be the final push he needed to get himself fully back to normal, blinking the last remnants of a restless sleep away: "...I seem to be okay now."
"That's good. For a while there I wasn't sure how things were going."
What were they talking like this for? Tifa knew Cloud, she knew Barret knew him--he wasn't going to spill his heart over a nightmare. "Cloud, Aerith is missing."
So they had to go now. He was awake, he was aware, he was probably shook up about what had happened because they all had been but for god's sake, Aerith was missing. She could be killed. They had to find her straight away.
She wasn't expecting Cloud to actually know where Aerith was.
"...City of the Ancients. Aerith is headed there."
That--sounded familiar, though Tifa couldn't quite place it. The answer sure got Barret in a fury, though, and Tifa immediately guessed: it was far, dangeous, or both. Well, it wasn't like the Temple of the Ancients had been easily accessible either.
"By herself?! Why'd she go by herself? Hey, we're going, too."
"Only the Ancients, only Aerith can save us from Meteor..."
"Then we MUST go," Tifa said, growing nervous. Cloud didn't sound like himself. Because really, any time Aerith was in danger or doing something that might be dangerous, he was there to be overly sensible. Sometimes annoyingly so, depending on how he phrased his objection. "What'll we do if something happens to Aerith? If Sephiroth finds her, she's in trouble."
Cloud didn't exactly freeze on the bed; he hadn't been moving in the first place. But movement became even more unlikely in that moment, with his eyes staying fastened toward the ground. "Sephiroth... already knows."
"Hey! Why are you still sitting around?" Barret demanded.
Exactly what Tifa had wanted to say, so she didn't reiterate it, upset as she was. They just needed to get moving. Before Aerith was taken from them. "Let's go, Cloud."
Something inside her crumpled when he did, folding in on himself on the bed and cradling his head like it could break. "No… I'm afraid. If this keeps up, I might go crazy! I'm afraid…"
Afraid he might be the one to hurt her? Was he really that unstable?
**
The point where it gets EVEN MESSIER TO READ because haha writing:
Cloud wanted to be by Tifa, as much as he wanted to be by anyone at all. He still didn't have a good explanation for his actions in the pit of the once Temple and it scared him. He'd wanted Aerith to--tell me who I am--but she hadn't, couldn't. She had to go save the world. That sense of goodness that radiated from her eyes, like they were reflecting something only she could perceive in him, quickly vanished. It had felt like there was no way he could do anything for her.
Tifa and Barret had quickly raged at him, promises of knocks upside the head and quiet pleas that they must go save Aerith getting him back up on his feet, and once there... yeah, he was annoyed with himself too. He had been a SOLDIER. He wasn't going to fail her by doing nothing.
Still...it...scared him, the moment the world had slipped out of focus and he had practically been outside his body, watching himself hand over the materia. He'd screamed at himself, tried to hold his own body back, but in the end nothing had worked; the materia had been handed over to Sephiroth.
And then... then...
He'd beaten Aerith. Tifa had told him, with a pinched, unhappy face, that that was the reason he now had jagged claw marks over the back of his left shoulder: he'd been beating Aerith, and after Nanaki had failed to get any response by yelling at him the feline had pounced on him to bring him to the ground.
Cloud barely remembered any yelling under the heavy tinnitus ringing not in his ears but in his head; but Tifa was honest. So the only thing to do had been thank Nanaki--quickly, without fuss, but it needed to be said.
'You did the right thing. If I'm a threat, take me out.'
Nanaki's actions, Barret's words...yes, he knew he could trust in his party if he went wild. But...
But he wasn't really sure...if a second time would find him coming back to normal. It felt like he was unraveling, and badly. It scared him. Like he was weaving offstep--he just didn't want to go crazy like that again.
So...so he was gravitating to Tifa. Even though she was looking away from him. It's because he's letting down her best friend. He understands that, so he's not angry, but he's just... something inside him is aching. He needed Aerith to tell him who he was, but she wouldn't. And Tifa's always, always had the answers, always been willing to take care of people, so maybe she would--if he could just get her to look at him.
What he does is sit down on the bed at the same moment she does. Their backs bump into each other and she sucks a breath in, jerking back up. "Cloud--"
Barret is giving him a look that promises so much shit if he even breathes on her wrong, but the man soon looks away. Cloud's not sure if it's because Barret knows him better than that now, or if he knows Tifa would kick his ass herself if it needed beating, or if his face is saying too much about how he feels.
It'd be just perfect if his face is saying too much when he can't even get his mouth to work.
"I wanted to talk to you," he murmurs to Tifa.
**
((...Also that is like three different attempts at that scene spliced together just now. So pretty much everything I've done with this fic lately was just "Oh, I think I have an idea. No, I don't know how to make the idea work. Let's try this. Now I'm frustrated. Let's try something else. LET'S GO BACK TO THIS...))
**
Her fingers twitched before clasping around cloud's bicep. "Cloud."
He looked at her with confusion. She knew her request was one that would throw him for a loop.
"Let me go up to Aerith first," she whispered. Because she could protect Aerith too, because she wanted to. She wanted to protect Cloud.
He nodded, though with uncertainty in his eyes, and she strode toward the first pillar and took a short leap up to it. She wondered if originally they'd been closer, or had more pillars in between--they weren't level but slightly crooked beneath her feet, leading to the guess that they'd been disturbed at one point.
And yet, still, she passed with little enough noise. Aerith did not stir one bit, which made Tifa grit her teeth. They had been so worried about her... shouldn't she at least acknowledge them? But the woman continued to keep her head bowed, hands clasped.
...Perhaps, then, she was communicating to someone. Probably the Planet. After sharing dreams with Cloud, Aerith wouldn't exactly be pulling a surprise by communicating to the Planet by prayer. So this was what she'd left them behind for.
A cut-off sound pulled her attention back for just a moment. Cloud had started toward the pillar, only for Barret to immediately grab his shoulder. He wanted to see Aerith, so it shouldn't have been a surprise to anyone...but it seemed to be a surprise to himself. His eyes were a touch wide, mouth working fruitlessly for a second before he closed it and shook his head.
Tifa wasn't sure if she wanted to know, not when they were so close to having Aerith back, so she crossed the final pillar into the threshold of the altar.
Aerith was still in prayer. Tifa wanted to shake her out of it and one hand rose to do that, but she just--couldn't. Aerith had come here to pray, so she needed to do that, obviously. She was the one saving the world, and just watching her... Tifa wasn't sure if it was the angle of her brow or the curve of her shoulders in prayer, but somehow she could see Aerith was pouring her whole heart into that.
Finally, green eyes opened, and Aerith immediately smiled at Tifa. It was the warmth of that gesture and the sure sign of hope behind it--Aerith was done praying and she was happy, it must mean something good--that let the tension ease out of the brawler's muscles, even as she caught herself and resolved that she wanted to tell the other woman how she felt about that little vanishing trick back in Gongaga.
"Aerith, we were so worried--"
In the glass surrounding them, there was a single flicker: a shadow, where there should only have been light.
It was enough for Tifa to shove Aerith back. And that was enough to place her in the path of a blade she recognized all too well when it sliced through her stomach from front to back.
Masamune. Seeing it embedded into her flesh once again felt unreal, but she was already struggling to pull in breath. Not a dream then, not a nightmare.
This...this was something she might never wake up from.
IN CONCLUSION: I think I am pretty much going about this chapter all wrong and am just now contemplating doing the final chapter as a sort of round of sleeping scenes...especially since I for some reason want to write about Aerith in the Sleeping Forest on her own. Even though no one else is with her \o_o/ I have pretty much hit the wall for a while now on knowing what I want to do with this.
Kind of debating just posting the first chapter as its own standalone and leaving the rest, well, alone. I like the idea of the story, it's the telling I can't figure out.
To start off with, HERE IS A BIT I CAN ACTUALLY CONSIDER COMPLETE even if I don't know it'll appear in the final draft of the story. (In fact it almost seems like with a bit of editing it could probably be its own thing as Tifa introspection.)
Cloud tells her, Aerith sent him a dream. That's how he knew she's headed for the City of the Ancients.
It doesn't hurt. Not harshly. The thought just sits there in Tifa's mind, lacking the good grace to know it's long overstayed its welcome.
A dream of peace and a promise. It sounds like something from a fairy tale, a more ethereal romance. It tempts a daydreamer to believe in soulmates—which, to be honest, Tifa never really has before. Cloud was her sweetheart always, her soulmate never. There is a connection, an understanding implied in 'soulmates' that she has never been able to pretend to with the blond, whose blue eyes hide thoughts she can't fathom. Even when they were both kids, he was hard to understand. She remembers that. It's getting harder to remember anything else about their friendship now.
If she had been made to claim anyone on this Planet as her soulmate...she thinks she would have said Aerith, the beautiful woman with hopeful green eyes. They had clicked so quickly, always breaking off from the others to do something together or teaming up when someone stubborn needed convincing, often without words. But--
But Aerith sent Cloud the dream. And for Tifa, there had only been a lie and excuse about why and where she was going out. "Stretching my legs!" Right. Aerith was stretching her legs across two continents.
Tifa understands well enough why she was lied to. Oh, she disagrees with it, but she understands. She would have stopped Aerith, she would have insisted on coming along, and even in the dream (as Cloud says, since she didn't have it) her friend didn't want to be followed. Rationally, it makes sense why Aerith carried things out the way she did, wanting what she did, even if Tifa Lockhart chafes at being kept away. So it doesn't hurt, not harshly.
But it still stings. That she was lied to. That Cloud got a proper explanation in their dream. Heh, "their" dream. If two people can share a dream, they really are connected, aren't they? In a bond that space and distance itself can't stretch out to fray.
Tifa had already known that night in Gold Saucer that she was going to get left behind. Once Aerith had made up her mind to pursue Cloud... Tifa hadn't even been able to choose then, or now, which one she loved more, which one she should confess to, and they'd been drawing ever steadily closer to each other. But to think, she'd been worried about something as ordinary as them kissing, when as it just so happened Aerith could touch Cloud's soul halfway around the world.
Had she ever stood a chance in this little love triangle?
So that's that. And then, backtracking a bit, here is the odds and ends and I swear I just cannot write anything long.
Aerith slept. Tifa didn't, keeping watch over her when she wasn't fretting over Cloud. He was dead to the world; wouldn't wake. But then, it was a near unanimous sentiment to let him take his time on that account. On the other hand Aerith needed to be woken up, every couple of hours, to make sure the concussion wasn't affecting her—it was never easy to tell with those if restorative materia had fully done the job. The smallness of Gongaga's inn meant a short patrol for Tifa as she paced between the two beds opposite each other in the tiny circular room, trying to count down the time and weighing counter impulses between letting Aerith recover from her exhaustion and wanting to make sure she would still wake, as well as to see if she might be able to explain any more of just what had happened in the pit that had been the Temple's foundation. One or two of the other members of their party were always in the inn as well, but the whole nine-man team was simply too big for the establishment, and after some discussion (and arguing, and uncertain looks that had hurt with their aim), they were mostly split up throughout the town. Gathering supplies and trying to figure out their next move, ostensibly.
Playing a waiting game as they wondered if the world might really come to an end.
The first time Aerith was carefully shook awake, she'd immediately spoken Cloud's name as a question, turning her head sharply to try catching sight of him. When she spotted him, the relieved sigh that passed her lips almost hurt to hear. "He's here, yeah," Tifa said needlessly. "We're back in Gongaga."
"He hasn't woken up?"
"No." The concern in Aerith's faint voice was heartening and frustrating all at once. If she was worried for Cloud even now, did she really not blame him? Tifa was glad for that, but she wanted to know why, so everyone could be reassured. …So she could be okay with the fact that Aerith was still bruised and disheveled from an assault that could have killed her, and already forgiving. "Aerith, do you think you can stay awake for a little while? We still don't know what happened down there…what happened to you and Cloud. And the Black Materia is…"
Tifa was already bracing herself as her friend's face grew dark and pinched, upset. The flower girl broke her gaze from their still-sleeping friend to answer: "Sephiroth has it."
A curse floated from the doorway; of course Cid was listening. Vincent surely was too, if more controlled in his reactions. After she'd carried Aerith out of the pit, Barret after her hauling Cloud like a sack of potatoes, Nanaki and Cait Sith had called up that they couldn't find the Black Materia in the pit. Tifa and Barret had each done a quick check of their unconscious passengers, but the materia seemed to have vanished. Immediately the gunman had yelled down demanding if this wasn't another fast one being pulled by Shinra, but Cait Sith was adamant that he'd done nothing fishy in the few minutes he'd been down in the pit—as though Nanaki's sharp eyes and hearing wouldn't have caught him out; they could check him too if they wanted! And it was testament to the tension running through the group that even with everyone aware of how unlikely the possibility was, Vincent actually did check the robot, just to put the nail in that coffin and lay it to rest. The narrow window of circumstance left a short list of suspects, and Sephiroth's name had topped it as the group remembered his strange movements, how he could have slipped past even the most careful watch. Tifa's heart still knotted like a noose to hear it confirmed.
"Then he's going to summon Meteor." And Nanaki's explanation of Sephiroth's plan for that particular spell had been chilling: if there was any truth in it, they were all in big trouble. If it was all true… the world really could come to an end.
"We still have time. He needs the Promised Land…" Aerith drifted off to silence, staring over Tifa's shoulder at what the fighter knew was just the brick wall of the hut; the room's entrance was on her other side.
"Aerith?"
Now she was looking at the door. And then the injured woman was trying to push herself off the bed. Even before her bruises made her stop short with a wince, Tifa was up on her feet, holding one hand out to stop her friend.
"No way. You need to rest."
"But, the Planet—"
"You said we still have time, right? So take a rest. You could tell me what it's saying." Not that Tifa really knew what to make of talking to the Planet; the only spirits she'd ever worked with were the alcoholic kind. But it was evident Aerith had talked to something in the temple…and even if she was the only who could hear it, that didn't mean others couldn't help her do whatever was needed, right?
There was so much tension knotted up in the brawler's limbs. She would have raced out and done just about anything, anything the Planet could ask, if it would fix this situation. If it would guarantee Cloud's eyes opening with clarity and calm, if it would mean Aerith could rest, if it would make everyone safe.
"I… I don't know. It's not clear," the Ancient admitted falteringly, sinking the hope of such a simple fix.
Tifa let out a slow breath. "Then we can't do anything yet. We need some sort of plan."
She had the strength to be firm, especially when the other woman's eyes were still murky with exhaustion; if Aerith wouldn't worry about herself, someone needed to. In the end the woman agreed to lie back down, 'for a little bit', and almost immediately slipped back into sleep. Tifa adjusted the pillow under the woman's head and fretted with the edges of her blanket, as her hands lacked anything better to do.
Cid summed up the situation: "Well, fuck!"
Cloud continued to sleep, and Tifa wondered, as she seemed to have countless times since finding him, what exactly was on his mind. Had he fully realized the trouble they were now in? Was that why had he snapped?
There still wasn't anything they could do, and it was starting to drive her mad.
Hours passed before Aerith was woken up again. The exhaustion in her eyes had turned into sadness. "Everyone's hurting."
That hit a little too close to home with how tense the group was, and Tifa shook her head. "What do you mean?"
"…Screaming…"
Tifa pursed her lips, sitting down by the side of the bed. Obviously her friend hadn't gotten the hoped-for restful sleep. "...Nanaki never heard Cloud scream."
"Ah?" Aerith's eyes flicked up to the ceiling without focusing on it. "...Oh." Her hands clasped gently under her chest, beginning to rise and fall with her breath. She closed her eyes for just a few seconds, and by the time Tifa recognized she might be praying--it was a gesture seen so rarely nowadays--her eyes were already open again. "No. I suppose he wouldn't have."
"I don't get it. What does that even mean? You were just hearing the Planet? But you sounded so sure he was hurt," Tifa blurted out, and almost winced at her pleading. But Aerith probably understood. She was concerned for Cloud too.
"I know what Cloud sounds like," Aerith said. Her voice was firm. "I've been listening, and watching, for him. For a while now. But I didn't know what to make of it."
Paying attention to Cloud? Tifa wasn't surprised, not after that night at the Gold Saucer, but that sting of petty jealousy was so slight at the moment. "Didn't know what to make of it?"
The other woman actually looked timid for a split-second, like she wanted to swallow back the very words she was clearly mulling over. "I thought... you would have said if something was really wrong with Cloud. You know him best of all of us."
For a moment, Tifa didn't react at all, her face slack at the unexpected statement. Aerith saw something wrong with Cloud too? So it wasn't just her... and then her cheeks colored at the implication she should have said something. And what would she have said? All she would have done was cast doubt on Cloud when she wasn't even sure he was the one wrong.
But any anger Tifa felt over the issue was pierced by the reality of where they were and where she'd wanted to be. Aerith herself had been laid up in bed by whatever was wrong with Cloud, and he was unconscious. Everyone was worried, even if they wouldn't show it. Would things be different if she'd said there was something off...? Tifa really had wanted to confide in someone all along. She'd wanted to confide in Aerith, she'd thought about it herself so many times, but the occasion had never been right.
No...she'd just never stopped being scared that the moment she admitted doubt in Cloud, she'd lose him again.
Aerith took in her silence and slowly nodded. "It's all right, Tifa. I could have said something too. It's pretty complicated, I guess... no, I know it is."
**
It was late in the night now since they'd gotten back from the temple. Tifa's body was already tired from travel and the scant sleep from the night before. She tried sitting down but the hard floors of the Gongaga Inn borne from poverty in the village made uncomfortable seating, little chance of resting on them. She found herself staring enviously at the beds. It was...those were the only way she could rest and be by Aerith and Cloud. Surely Aerith would not begrudge sharing the bed, right? Even after thinking it, and convincing herself of the truth of that thought, it still took Tifa a whole ten minutes to creep into the bed. She halted when Aerith's dark green eyes opened at her, but before she could apologize she realized there was no confusion or objection in them.
Aerith's hand lighted on her arm and tugged insistently. Tifa had to shift more and more into the bed, lying down beside her friend who curled in to nestle close. The girl's eyes were already closing again, but still Tifa wrapped one protective arm over her.
"It'll be all right," Tifa said quietly. "We're strong. We can get through this." Words she needed someone to say to her, words she knew Aerith needed to hear herself. It had to hurt, hearing the screams of a Planet. The screams of a friend as he was forced to betray. But Aerith was strong, stronger than her, smiling so often when there was little reason to. And she would shield Aerith, as much as possible.
She curled into Aerith, her head resting against the other girl's collarbone, thinking Aerith must be able to feel the lie of false confidence when she had to resist the urge to cling for dear life.
After a peaceful sleep that was too brief, that resistance failed when she felt the other woman pulling out from beneath her grasp; stuck between Tifa and the wall on each side, Aerith had decided instead to scoot downward along the bed and ease herself off its foot, slipping from beneath Tifa's arm. But Tifa's fingers tightened on her before the woman was fully out. "Aerith? Where are you going?"
"For a walk," Aerith said. "How long have I been asleep? It was much too long."
"No it wasn't. It was only..." Tifa was the one muddled by sleep now; she could tell Aerith how long she'd been asleep before being joined on the bed, but she had no idea of any track of time after that--the windowless state of the room definitely didn't help with that. She was so exhausted, her body's clock thoroughly out of sync, that it could have been morning, midnight, afternoon, how would she know?
She'd see outside. They were going on a walk. She pushed herself upright, trying to blink sleep from her eyes, but before she could swing up onto her feet there was a hand at her shoulder.
"Oh, Tifa. What are you doing?"
"I'll go with..."
"You've been watching over us this whole time, haven't you? You look so exhausted I feel like yawning all over again looking at you. Let yourself rest, Tifa."
Sleep did sound good. Really, really good—especially when the mere mention of yawning was suggestive enough for her traitorous mouth to do just that as soon as she opened it. "D...don't...go far. Everyone's been worried about you."
"I'll be back soon."
Tifa nodded, accepting her friend's word; though rather than lay back down, she dragged a bit of the blanket around her shoulders, feeling its extra warmth from body heat, and tracked Aerith blearily as she passed Yuffie with a smile and a blithe remark about needing to stretch her legs. She...did seem okay on her feet. Direct, not disoriented. So her concussion was truly healed then, a blessed reassurance. And she'd be back soon. Tifa wanted to wait for her to come back, but all too soon exhaustion pulled the caretaker back down into a blank, silent sleep.
"Tifa."
The body heat had dissipated. There was cold metal on her shoulder that made her fidget until realizing it was Vincent's metal claw resting on her, and then she jumped again because Vincent was never inclined to disturb others except for watch duty. "Wha, wha--is it my turn?" Were they taking turns here? She hadn't even thought to ask before.
Vincent ignored the question for the sleep-addled nonsense it was, instead crouching down slightly in front of the bed to meet her eyes. "Did Aerith tell you where she would be?"
"Out for a walk…she should be back soon."
His pale face was impassive. "She told Yuffie the same, but her 'walk' has been nearly four hours now."
Oh, God. She hadn't been well after all; she was probably collapsed in a faint somewhere. "We have to look for her—"
"We began searching two hours ago. She's not in the village," the former Turk summed up precisely, and Tifa felt both foolish and more frightened. Of course the others would have realized before now that something was wrong. Aerith could be easily distracted during her ventures, talk with locals turning "fifteen minutes" into "an hour" when the group was resting somewhere, but she was reliable when things got serious. Right now, they were dire. "We've begun sweeping the jungle… but it seemed prudent to check if she had said any more to you."
"No. She said she'd be right back… I don't understand. What could have happened?" The blanket's fabric became security as Tifa clutched it closer to her shoulders. "…We shouldn't have stopped here. Not after the last time. If Shinra took her—do you think she could have been?"
She was worrying now, openly fretting, and anyone else probably would have told her to calm down. At the moment, she was glad Vincent was the way he was, and willing to consider such possibilities. It still only took him a few seconds to shake his head. "There would have been a struggle. No one has seen or heard any evidence of that. I would say, more than likely… she's left of her own accord. Perhaps she finally made out what the Planet was telling her."
"You believe her, don't you, Vincent?"
"I've seen too much to be skeptical of such a claim." He straightened up. "We'll keep looking."
Tifa gritted her teeth, her hands folding up into fists. Damn it, why had her friend lied to her?! She wouldn't have stopped Aerith from going; she would have gone with, and kept an eye on her... someone else could watch Cloud, he was just sleeping, and he'd probably be okay, he hadn't even been injured, concerning as the assault on Aerith was.
**
When Cloud let out a soft moan, Tifa stopped still in her tracks, turning to him. Barret was also sharp at attention--enough to catch Tifa by the shoulder when the moaning continued and she started to approach Cloud, to wake him from the apparent nightmare.
Remembering what had happened when she'd shared a tent with Cloud near this town, she was glad for Barret's mindfulness. It was much too likely that he'd come back swinging, just as he'd gone out. It was already obvious as his jaw clenched and his fingers twitched that he was struggling against the dream.
"No...no! Come back!"
The next moment, Cloud's eyes opened, and they focused narrowly on Barret and Tifa. Clarity and calm were what she'd hoped would grace his expression, but he was wild-eyed and face twisted up, looking horrified.
He was aware, though. It was apparent by just how quickly his face settled again into something more controlled, even if his eyes still betrayed upset.
"You looked like you was havin' a nightmare," Barret told him. "How are you feeling?"
The first look Cloud gave him could easily have been interpreted as 'no shit', flat as it was. But the question seemed to be the final push he needed to get himself fully back to normal, blinking the last remnants of a restless sleep away: "...I seem to be okay now."
"That's good. For a while there I wasn't sure how things were going."
What were they talking like this for? Tifa knew Cloud, she knew Barret knew him--he wasn't going to spill his heart over a nightmare. "Cloud, Aerith is missing."
So they had to go now. He was awake, he was aware, he was probably shook up about what had happened because they all had been but for god's sake, Aerith was missing. She could be killed. They had to find her straight away.
She wasn't expecting Cloud to actually know where Aerith was.
"...City of the Ancients. Aerith is headed there."
That--sounded familiar, though Tifa couldn't quite place it. The answer sure got Barret in a fury, though, and Tifa immediately guessed: it was far, dangeous, or both. Well, it wasn't like the Temple of the Ancients had been easily accessible either.
"By herself?! Why'd she go by herself? Hey, we're going, too."
"Only the Ancients, only Aerith can save us from Meteor..."
"Then we MUST go," Tifa said, growing nervous. Cloud didn't sound like himself. Because really, any time Aerith was in danger or doing something that might be dangerous, he was there to be overly sensible. Sometimes annoyingly so, depending on how he phrased his objection. "What'll we do if something happens to Aerith? If Sephiroth finds her, she's in trouble."
Cloud didn't exactly freeze on the bed; he hadn't been moving in the first place. But movement became even more unlikely in that moment, with his eyes staying fastened toward the ground. "Sephiroth... already knows."
"Hey! Why are you still sitting around?" Barret demanded.
Exactly what Tifa had wanted to say, so she didn't reiterate it, upset as she was. They just needed to get moving. Before Aerith was taken from them. "Let's go, Cloud."
Something inside her crumpled when he did, folding in on himself on the bed and cradling his head like it could break. "No… I'm afraid. If this keeps up, I might go crazy! I'm afraid…"
Afraid he might be the one to hurt her? Was he really that unstable?
**
The point where it gets EVEN MESSIER TO READ because haha writing:
Cloud wanted to be by Tifa, as much as he wanted to be by anyone at all. He still didn't have a good explanation for his actions in the pit of the once Temple and it scared him. He'd wanted Aerith to--tell me who I am--but she hadn't, couldn't. She had to go save the world. That sense of goodness that radiated from her eyes, like they were reflecting something only she could perceive in him, quickly vanished. It had felt like there was no way he could do anything for her.
Tifa and Barret had quickly raged at him, promises of knocks upside the head and quiet pleas that they must go save Aerith getting him back up on his feet, and once there... yeah, he was annoyed with himself too. He had been a SOLDIER. He wasn't going to fail her by doing nothing.
Still...it...scared him, the moment the world had slipped out of focus and he had practically been outside his body, watching himself hand over the materia. He'd screamed at himself, tried to hold his own body back, but in the end nothing had worked; the materia had been handed over to Sephiroth.
And then... then...
He'd beaten Aerith. Tifa had told him, with a pinched, unhappy face, that that was the reason he now had jagged claw marks over the back of his left shoulder: he'd been beating Aerith, and after Nanaki had failed to get any response by yelling at him the feline had pounced on him to bring him to the ground.
Cloud barely remembered any yelling under the heavy tinnitus ringing not in his ears but in his head; but Tifa was honest. So the only thing to do had been thank Nanaki--quickly, without fuss, but it needed to be said.
'You did the right thing. If I'm a threat, take me out.'
Nanaki's actions, Barret's words...yes, he knew he could trust in his party if he went wild. But...
But he wasn't really sure...if a second time would find him coming back to normal. It felt like he was unraveling, and badly. It scared him. Like he was weaving offstep--he just didn't want to go crazy like that again.
So...so he was gravitating to Tifa. Even though she was looking away from him. It's because he's letting down her best friend. He understands that, so he's not angry, but he's just... something inside him is aching. He needed Aerith to tell him who he was, but she wouldn't. And Tifa's always, always had the answers, always been willing to take care of people, so maybe she would--if he could just get her to look at him.
What he does is sit down on the bed at the same moment she does. Their backs bump into each other and she sucks a breath in, jerking back up. "Cloud--"
Barret is giving him a look that promises so much shit if he even breathes on her wrong, but the man soon looks away. Cloud's not sure if it's because Barret knows him better than that now, or if he knows Tifa would kick his ass herself if it needed beating, or if his face is saying too much about how he feels.
It'd be just perfect if his face is saying too much when he can't even get his mouth to work.
"I wanted to talk to you," he murmurs to Tifa.
**
((...Also that is like three different attempts at that scene spliced together just now. So pretty much everything I've done with this fic lately was just "Oh, I think I have an idea. No, I don't know how to make the idea work. Let's try this. Now I'm frustrated. Let's try something else. LET'S GO BACK TO THIS...))
**
Her fingers twitched before clasping around cloud's bicep. "Cloud."
He looked at her with confusion. She knew her request was one that would throw him for a loop.
"Let me go up to Aerith first," she whispered. Because she could protect Aerith too, because she wanted to. She wanted to protect Cloud.
He nodded, though with uncertainty in his eyes, and she strode toward the first pillar and took a short leap up to it. She wondered if originally they'd been closer, or had more pillars in between--they weren't level but slightly crooked beneath her feet, leading to the guess that they'd been disturbed at one point.
And yet, still, she passed with little enough noise. Aerith did not stir one bit, which made Tifa grit her teeth. They had been so worried about her... shouldn't she at least acknowledge them? But the woman continued to keep her head bowed, hands clasped.
...Perhaps, then, she was communicating to someone. Probably the Planet. After sharing dreams with Cloud, Aerith wouldn't exactly be pulling a surprise by communicating to the Planet by prayer. So this was what she'd left them behind for.
A cut-off sound pulled her attention back for just a moment. Cloud had started toward the pillar, only for Barret to immediately grab his shoulder. He wanted to see Aerith, so it shouldn't have been a surprise to anyone...but it seemed to be a surprise to himself. His eyes were a touch wide, mouth working fruitlessly for a second before he closed it and shook his head.
Tifa wasn't sure if she wanted to know, not when they were so close to having Aerith back, so she crossed the final pillar into the threshold of the altar.
Aerith was still in prayer. Tifa wanted to shake her out of it and one hand rose to do that, but she just--couldn't. Aerith had come here to pray, so she needed to do that, obviously. She was the one saving the world, and just watching her... Tifa wasn't sure if it was the angle of her brow or the curve of her shoulders in prayer, but somehow she could see Aerith was pouring her whole heart into that.
Finally, green eyes opened, and Aerith immediately smiled at Tifa. It was the warmth of that gesture and the sure sign of hope behind it--Aerith was done praying and she was happy, it must mean something good--that let the tension ease out of the brawler's muscles, even as she caught herself and resolved that she wanted to tell the other woman how she felt about that little vanishing trick back in Gongaga.
"Aerith, we were so worried--"
In the glass surrounding them, there was a single flicker: a shadow, where there should only have been light.
It was enough for Tifa to shove Aerith back. And that was enough to place her in the path of a blade she recognized all too well when it sliced through her stomach from front to back.
Masamune. Seeing it embedded into her flesh once again felt unreal, but she was already struggling to pull in breath. Not a dream then, not a nightmare.
This...this was something she might never wake up from.
IN CONCLUSION: I think I am pretty much going about this chapter all wrong and am just now contemplating doing the final chapter as a sort of round of sleeping scenes...especially since I for some reason want to write about Aerith in the Sleeping Forest on her own. Even though no one else is with her \o_o/ I have pretty much hit the wall for a while now on knowing what I want to do with this.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-07-21 01:50 pm (UTC)First up! None of this is terrible!
The first section from Tifa's perspective: This does feel like it could be separated off as a standalone sequence, or possibly a companion piece to the larger Sleeping Arrangements as does have a nice repeat of those fears from the night of the Gold Saucer date/Tifa's fear of being left behind the other two. And I do like how she has convinced herself she's out of the running and it is easy to see from her perspective that she can't possibly mean as much to Aeris as Cloud does if he gets that highly personal dream interaction. And I really, really like that line about how she feels she can't meet up as Aeris can touch Cloud's soul from distance like that while she's working up the nerve to contemplate kissing of working out which she loves more. And that Tifa also feels that she still comes off worse from the triangle - she's lied to while Cloud is told where she's going, but then Tifa understands why Aeris did that even if it does sting. The soulmate musing is really neat too and I like how that feeds into Cloud's mental strife and how open Aeris is, and putting the lead in for later that she could consider Aeris her soulmate, later once Cloud's head is clear she will be able to think the same about him.
(and that she feels she never understood Cloud, not really even as kids, but those memories are evasive as well)
Section two: These sections feel like they could all be merged into one with a few changes - outside of the restating the situation, the second section where Tifa gets into bed with Aeris feels like it could be later on once she's convinced the concussion isn't going to damage Aeris and exhaustion has started getting to her. I actually really like the way you presented the Gongaga Inn here and the fact it does only have two beds like that, and who could easily have been (far too briefly) in the unoccupied one when Cloud wakens. Tifa as the one to care for both is nice and that she is mostly left to herself while the others take care of other errands.
It does feel wrong to keep praising that Tifa is getting hurt with these misunderstandings about how her, Aeris and Cloud's situation actually is, but in writing terms, I like how this keeps coming up, that Tifa consistently interprets ambiguous statements and comments about the three of them as Clerith basically. Her desire to understand the aftermath of the Temple is good too, the need to understand why Aeris isn't more fazed by a potentially lethal attack and already forgiving it's perpetrator. I like the question of where the Black Materia is, and Barret still overly suspicious of Cait Sith and that they do go to the extreme of searching him just in case. I would say the line: After she'd carried Aerith out of the pit, Barret after her hauling Cloud like a sack of potatoes, Nanaki and Cait Sith had called up that they couldn't find the Black Materia in the pit. reads awkwardly to me with the repitition of 'pit' in the sentence (and nitpicky but Tifa and barret had each made a quick check... rather then Tifa and Barret had each done a quick check... reads a little nicer to me).
I like that Sephiroth is already a contender for what happened to the materia, but actively hearing it is just a little worse. I like the implication that Aeris's looking to the blank wall is actually looking North and towards the City of the Ancients, seemingly in sync with the Planet, before she pauses to consider the actual necessary steps to get out of the room. And Tifa stopping her is a nice touch; she is worried about stopping Sephiroth, but Aeris has just told her they still have time, so there's no need to start moving now. I think Tifa's question about what the Planet is saying needs a little distancing from her telling her to take a rest. Just a beat of silence or Tifa getting Aeris to lay back and settle again before asking what it is saying. It just feels a bit run on as it is now. But I do like that Tifa is primed to do whatever the Planet needs right now, and this actually feels like good, subtle foreshadowing for what is coming at the end. And the specific desire to get Cloud awake again but get Aeris asleep (which has this neat appeal as a kind of scales thing where for the moment in Tifa's head its like only one of them can be awake at the time, and if Aeris is asleep she's not going to run off to the Planet's beck and call).
And from that it feels like how Tifa and Aeris are feeling at the moment is in-sync. Aeris doesn't know what the Planet wants, but has some vague ideas of what she needs to start doing. So like Tifa she's ready to move right now and do whatever is necessary to safeguard Cloud and Tifa. But then Tifa is being the voice of reason. If the Planet can't express what Aeris is needed for yet, there is no reason to start moving - though as we discussed at length before, the Planet is not necessarily going to be entirely straight-forward in its request and how it gets that across.
I think at Hours passed line is where the part where Tifa joins Aeris in bed could fit, possibly hoping that a comforting presence will help get her the restful sleep she needs. This portion does read a little fractured, but that might just be me. But its just the first line about everyone's hurting which Aeris clarifies as screaming doesn't seem to lead into Nanaki not hearing Cloud screaming entirely neatly. But at the same time, I like the foreshadow iof praying, and Aeris realising why Nanaki didn't hear the scream, and Tifa finding herself unable to understand quite how her friend is now reacting. I do like this is the moment when Tifa learns that Aeris has noticed something is wrong with Cloud and questions how it never has come up. And that it comes as part of a jealous retort; again Tifa assuming the deck is stacked against her and that Aeris is oblivious to her feelings. And that Aeris might have said something very different just then before changing her mind.
But Tifa's reaction is good too - what could she say and what difference would it have made? And that she had wanted to confide in Aeris but circumstances were against it/it would feel too petty, too manipulative to do this after she began drawing her own conclusions after Enchantment Night. And her reasons for saying anything fit with the other things she's never been willing to voice; fear of loss. She'd rather take losing the chance at love then losing either Cloud or Aeris. And Aeris seems to understand that (though she's coping with the strange familiarity in Cloud's actions which is just complicating things for her).
Both the next two sections feel like they could link together again and with the above section. And I do like that Tifa wants to rest by both of them, and its almost as if she knows if she lets them out of her sight they'll disappear, or she might walk back in on some passionate clinch after Enchantment Night. So it feels like her desire to stay is both concern, and to try desperately to stave off the situation she feels has already come to pass, even if she has yet to see evidence of it. It feels like this could be set some hours later then the end of the previous section; Aeris is now actually peacefully sleeping and calm, and the lure of a soft bed close by is too great to pass up. I really like that Aeris is not confused or objecting to Tifa's actions, but encourages her and they nestle against each other. Its a nice contrast to the first bed-share where Tifa wasn't quite sure about the situation to the Gold Saucer where she wanted to but didn't act in time to now when she makes her move and finds it doesn't seem like there ever would have been an objection no matter how many spare beds there were.
If this section could be combined with the earlier ones, the dialogue would need a few tweaks to make it another carry-on from the previous scene, but I like Tifa just trying to comfort Aeris as best as she can. And Tifa is selling herself so short on strength versus Aeris, and I do like that Tifa's sure Aeris knows her confidence is false and that she wants desperately to cling onto her. And I like that resolve fails as Aeris extracts herself from the bed (I actually really like the detail of how she's getting herself out of the bed. Especially if she's still in her dress (likely given circumstance)).
Admittedly, now for all my desire to see this section merged with the previous, the end part of Aeris just going for a walk doesn't mesh properly as Tifa is going to be concerned that Aeris might make a break for it after she has blocked her from heading out before. So, there would either need some way of making Tifa convinced she really will be back, or regrettably omitting Tifa waking up here. I do like it as a role reversal though as Aeris insists Tifa stays in bed having spent so long caring for her and Cloud and keeping watch, and that Tifa's immediate reaction is they are going to go for a walk.
And... it feels like Aeris might have cheated on Tifa's subduing here; either via materia, a limit break, or some subtle Planet knowledge (or simply psychology). Tifa thinks nothing of it, but it feels like something else might have been in effect to get Tifa yawning and feeling tired as Aeris mentions the word. And then Tifa is happy to let her go as Aeris is walking okay, just explains what she's doing and then she's asleep.
And then the unwanted reasons of why Vincent is disturbing her are all too soon. Vincent ignoring the unnecessary question is neat; straight and to the point about what the problem is. I do like that Tifa's first instinct is not that she's heeded the Planet's call, but that her injuries have lead to a collapse somewhere nearby. I like the little light-hearted note about talking to people could easily shift fifteen minutes to an hour, but she didn't do that when things were serious. Tifa's thoughts seem to follow a nice sequence of steps here; collapse due to illness, but having still not found her, it could be Shinra, with Vincent voicing the other option (actually - and I'm not sure you could get the tone of this right, but would Tifa remember the encounters with the Touch Mes and be worried that frog-form Aeris has been overlooked/killed by a predator?).
This one is a little at odds with the first as the first is Tifa sure that she would have stopped Aeris going, while this is she would have thrown everything away to go with her. The mindset feels different in this one that Tifa is prepared to leave Cloud behind in this version, but in the others its about keeping them together, and that doesn't fit entirely well with her convincing herself she's already lost in the love triangle, unless this is a wishful thinking that if she could get Aeris away from Cloud maybe things would be different (though that needs her to really accept what she is feeling - soulmates don't necessarily need to be romantic, but that's how she views the other two's situation).
Third section! This one feels the neatest as a run on, and we have an ambiguous stretch of time from Aeris's departing and Cloud waking up. Hopefully sufficient (sensible) time for her to get to the Sleeping Forest (and I kind of like the idea of her settling down to sleep and using that to make the connection to Cloud). I like the reference back to the previous Gongaga section, and the worry about Cloud waking from nightmares and how thankful Tifa is for Barret's presence. I like the version of this scene given this is a purely in-game section, and I do like Tifa's surprise at Cloud actively knowing where Aeris is, and that Barret does know where its located (which helps with explanations but does still make it curious that Shinra never managed to enter it as far as we know). And the crumpling feel within Tifa at Cloud's last line is effective, and her voicing an unwanted conclusion about what Cloud might do... again.
Fourth section! I... inferred this one has to be at the City of the Ancients in the spiral house. Cloud's introspection is effective but possibly a bit brief; I like he has questions for his actions in the foundations of the Temple, and the later depiction of what it was like to see himself outside of his body and handing the materia to Sephiroth. The desire for Aeris to tell him who he is feels like its been something he's been turning over in his head ever since the Gold Saucer when she spoke to him on the date. I think for a lot of it this section is fine idea wise, it just needs more detail in places. I do like that Cloud has no memory of what he did until Tifa explains it, and it feels that works better for his apology in the dream - he thinks its for handing over the black materia; I'm not sure Cloud could even bring himself to look at Aeris if he remembered actually attacking her like that. The description of the moment like tinnitus is a nice gelling of narrative with the in-game sound effects, and definitely like that Cloud feels the need to thank Nananki for his actions - even if it did leave him injured.
I also like Cloud's gravitating towards Tifa, and that he doesn't understand her behaviour. He reaches the wrong conclusion and can't be angry as he's blaming himself for a lot at the moment and he feels that both Tifa and Aeris are holding a piece of his own puzzle that will let things make sense to him, and get right of that unraveling feeling. And its sort of disheartening to reflect that in this case Tifa doesn't hold the answers for him, what she knows and can't say is not going to help him, and will just make things worse. And Aeris can't help either. As we know, Cloud has the answers but can't see them yet.
I like that the physical contact jolts both of them, and Barret's initial look of hostility that fades abruptly... It feels a tough section to do as Cloud's introspection is very brief in game and narrative terms. Excepting a panicked feeling of delay if you mentioned the dig for the lunar harp, there's not as much to draw on here, and it is a little questionable how far Cloud's conflicted mindset can be pushed without him hitting some of the answers too early. But I think a bit more detail would help this one.
Ah, I don't think its a bad way to write to just try things. Though merging it/picking one option out can be troublesome...
Last part! And the conclusion of Sleeping Arrangements: Minor nuisance but you missed captilizing Cloud's name before Tifa speaks it. This then is the canon diverge point, where Tifa walks towards the altar first. And I'm wondering if after this panic and strife, she's just going to admit everything to Aeris - take the nuclear option and just see what happens rather then keeping watching, waiting, fearing and never daring to hope. I like the little distraction details, like how the spacing of the pillars is odd and implies there should have been more at one stage. And the uncertainty in Cloud's eyes feels like a foreshadow of the OGC events/Sephiroth's already exerting influence but Cloud's resisting. I *really* like when Cloud goes to move and Barret stops him, and that surprises Cloud too.
And the rest... I like how it unfolds, ever knowing that Tifa survives as per the plan, but its still written with a real finality as she sees the Masamune impaling her. And I like that its an inverted image to the OGC one; Tifa stabbed from the front rather then from the back (and what would she have seen if she'd looked up? Sephiroth confused or annoyed, or sneering as if he merely wanted to make a point? As I remember 'The One Who Didn't Die' he's not at all concerned that Aeris has been successful, this was always more about a show of force).
(no subject)
Date: 2013-07-21 01:50 pm (UTC)...hope that rambling is of at least some help...
Ahaha this is a two parter itself
Date: 2013-07-22 05:06 pm (UTC)I'm glad you liked the first part with Tifa, and it really might end up as a standalone piece (in fact I'd been editing it as such for possible use in one of the fan flashwork challenges when I was frustrated with writing anything, which is partially why it reads better on its own than any of the other parts--the original writing was longer and started drifting into Cloud trying to talk to her when they rest at the Forgotten City. ...actually that version sort of had a natural end too, it's just the actual conversation I kept hitting writer's block on). But yeah, Tifa is definitely thinking that if soulmates are a thing the connection Cloud and Aerith have kind of blows her connection to either one of them out of the water, even though Cloud and Aerith both...well...they love Tifa.
Even if they're both stupid because lol I just realized at this point they BOTH haven't quite realized what it is they feel.Being lied to never helps even when you know intellectually it was for a good reason.I really liked the thought of playing with different views of love and connotations of various terms for loves; the sweetheart/soulmate one just really popped out at me because it really does have that different feel in my own mind, where 'sweetheart' is sweet/wooing/nostalgic, while 'soulmate' feels like a statement or claim of certainty, you know that person is one you belong with, you understand each other. And Tifa doesn't really believe in soulmates but she's thinking, if she did have one... and yes, it'd be nice to have her reflect back on that later and think, not one. Two.
Haha, the two sections with Tifa in the Gongaga inn really WERE supposed to be one, and I think the situation just got restated in the second because once I got too frustrated with the one section I tried jumping to a later scene--but then I tend to write "fresh" as it were for exposition too. (My writing process is incredibly messy...) And yeah, when I looked at the layout for the room in the Gongaga inn when Cloud wakes up, I just spotted the sole other bed and went "I KNOW WHO WAS THERE"
Aerith, dagnabbit. Stay put.I really just liked the idea that Gongaga as a village is so small it just has no room for the group, but they're not traveling any more than they have to with both Aerith and Cloud out of commission (and a good number of the group driven to distraction with what's going on), so they just stop there, Cloud and Aerith get the proper beds and everyone else just figures something out.Ahaha, Aerith immediately asking for Cloud probably isn't helping Tifa's interpretation of things as Clerith--but yeah, Aerith's fretting about him as what happened in the pit was so serious (and ack for repetition there; I'll have to take that second one out in the writing. ...I have to admit I can't see much difference in "made/done a check", so I'll probably just wait until I have a draft a bit closer to "final" and then figure out which sounds better to me.)
Tifa's "You could tell me what [the Planet's] saying" was done following right on her trying to get Aerith to rest because she means it as an offer to Aerith that if there's something urgent, she'll do it. Which might have been clearer if Aerith had shot her down with the fact that a Cetra had to do it, but I didn't think Aerith would know that much yet. That's why there's no pause, anyway; I think it should sound a little run-on, as Tifa is pretty much just lost on the situation right now and throwing the first idea she has out. ...Somehow I didn't even think of it as foreshadowing because I was just thinking Tifa would be willing to do anything. ...I also didn't think of it as a scale/balance with Cloud and Aerith being awake one at a time, but that's a really interesting direction to take it (from when I was writing I was most thinking that Tifa believes if Cloud wakes up okay, the situation is naturally going to calm down; kind of like how just after the near-execution at Junon, she wishes Cloud were there to tell her everything would be okay. (And if anything, she's pretty sure he'd usually want to help her in making sure Aerith does not do dangerous things so it would really help in getting Aerith to rest)).
And yes, both Aerith and Tifa have that feeling where they want to go and do what's necessary to keep everyone else safe...and Tifa is certainly being the more reasonable one as they need a plan (and her plan would probably not involve any one person being completely on their own. She does not like this part of Aerith's idea!)
This portion does read a little fractured, but that might just be me.
Th...this whole thing is fractured. It's definitely not you. But yeah, definitely noted about the abruptness of going from Aerith hearing the Planet screaming to Nanaki hearing Cloud scream: I think it could still link together in Tifa's thoughts, but it needs to be written out rather than divebombed right into. To be honest I just really wanted to try getting into this exchange and them realizing they haven't told each other things they could have; at one point I got the scene from Utena, where Utena tells Anthy that if she has a problem she wants her to come to her--that she wants them to be friends like that--stuck in my head and I really wanted to echo that. Though one of the biggest problems here is that it would always be hypocritical here because it would have been Aerith saying it to Tifa, to reassure Tifa that she's not mad, she just wished she could have done something for her friend...right before she takes off from her friends to gallivant across the world. So, um. ....Aerith would genuinely mean it that she wants to help even if she doesn't want to put anyone else in danger with her problems but I'd hope she'd recognize that right before pulling this stunt is not the time for that sentiment (Tifa would be so mad at her. "DON'T TELL ME I SHOULD COME TO YOU WITH ANY PROBLEM AND THEN TAKE OFF TO SAVE EVERYONE ON YOUR OWN, HOW IS THAT FAIR?"). And even accepting that Aerith can be hypocritical at times this was like "wait...is it going to be an argument? Because it really could be if Tifa gets defensive and Aerith really isn't always best at tact versus just stating what she thinks." But in the end it felt right that Tifa might be upset and feel like she's being put on the spot, but at the same time this definitely isn't where she wanted the three of them to be so she can recognize that yeah, there might have been something she could have said. And Aerith recognizes it's something she's at fault on too, she has tried talking to Cloud but she didn't go to Tifa with it for help because yeah...it's complicated. So she knows it's hard for Tifa, she just wants to figure out how to make everything better.
(...Definitely going to be interesting to write a Aerith-centric section and then revisit the Tifa portion and see if everything still squares or if I'm playing a little too fast and loose with flower girl here.)
...To be honest I don't think I really was considering Tifa being afraid of a passionate clinch if she left them alone... That's definitely something to think about more though. (Actually I'm now wondering if she'd be thinking she'll have to clear out the minute they're both awake and they're sure Cloud's OK so the couple can talk things out between them... urk...) Ahaha, considering the ending and the confusion going on I definitely wanted to get a really nice, shippy moment in, and it was so easy to picture the two of them both wanting to curl up with each other for mutual comfort. Though...yeah, dialogue tweaking definitely needed to fit the two scenes together.
Haha I really liked the detail about Aerith getting out of bed myself, just because I keep picturing Aerith all between Tifa and the wall and she's just like "...wait, how do I get out of this without waking Tifa." TIME TO BE SNEAKY (though still failing on the not waking Tifa front, which was somewhat inevitable given how close they were when they fell asleep). That's a really good idea on the detail of her dress! I imagine it's all bunching up above her knees and even a bit possibly edging into "Aerith those are your panties" awkwardness. Because yeah, she wouldn't have been changed.
...You know. When writing I thought Tifa letting Aerith go could make sense as her being both too exhausted to think through what Aerith's going to do as well as trusting Aerith to tell her the truth (she said she was going to come right back!! Tifa is going to have to give her a long talk on just how far white lies can be stretched not across two continents), buuuut even the scene itself doesn't read quite right with how Tifa immediately tries to reassure Aerith she hasn't been sleeping too long, or go along with her on the walk (though yeah, I did like writing it for Tifa that way: going with Aerith to make sure she's still okay!). So this scene does need a rewrite... you know, Aerith was really not supposed to be "cheating" on Tifa subduing, except possibly by the psychology of subtle suggestion
...but that means she cheats a lot, but now I'm kind of tempted to tie something magical in. There's a religious song I learned as a kid that sounds like a lullaby that popped into my head last night; it has a line, sung by a woman, that goes "Sleep, sleep, a lovewatch I'll keep to protect you through the night". And it's kind of tempting to have Aerith rejoin Tifa on the bed like she's going to go back to sleep soon, and she starts humming a slow tune that's soothing...fiddle with the line prior a bit to fit a more general love and situation (original line ="Child, I am here: can you feel that heaven is near?", possibly changed to "Dearest, I'm here; let go of your worry and fear.") and then right when Tifa hears "sleep, sleep" she clues in to the magic going on and has a second to think oh, this is NOT okay before it puts her fully under.(Seriously though if Aerith IS cheating to make Tifa sleep with magic, I imagine Tifa would realize somehow, even if only after the fact, and this would eventually come back to bite a certain Cetra in the butt when Tifa is like "remember that time you used magic to put me to sleep? yeah, I'm still not happy about that one e_e". Ahahaha, Aerith getting herself in plenty of trouble here. I'm not opposed to it but it's something that would have to be dealt with or at least touched on in "the one who didn't die".)
And...the magic/subtle Planet knowledge idea is making me REALLY want to play with an idea or two in Aerith's section. I guess I should write that soon and see if it works. XD
And then the unwanted reasons of why Vincent is disturbing her are all too soon. Vincent ignoring the unnecessary question is neat; straight and to the point about what the problem is.
Funny thing is this was originally supposed to be Barret or Cid waking her up, and then went I went to write it I just stopped like "okay WHO of this group is likely the smart guy in a missing persons search, even if he doesn't take charge overtly?" Former Turk it was, and I did like that with Vincent he'd be pretty cut and dry about what's happened. (I also just kind of like imagining the rest of the group in reacting to this: Barret "takes charge", but he doesn't do much in coordinating the search, more like he hollers about how they need to find her quick before taking off in one direction while Yuffie takes another, and Cid sort of pauses and realizes: hey. Vincent. How would you go looking for her?, prompting Vincent to make suggestions for him, Cait Sith and Red.) And I did like doing Tifa's sequence of thoughts... I did consider "attacked by monsters/turned into a touch me" (Cid's rant in "the one who didn't die" kind of touched on that possibility actually, with him bitterly wishing she'd gotten toaded at least once because THEY certainly did while looking for her), but that didn't appear in the sequence because I was thinking Tifa would consider that even if Aerith had fibbed about feeling fine, she's smart enough that if she wasn't feeling at her best she wouldn't have strayed into the jungle; so collapse jumps to mind, that could have happened anywhere, but while being attacked is possible it doesn't seem as likely. If I do go with Aerith cheating with Planet magic, this conversation is going to be shortcut massively though, since Tifa's going to realize if Aerith put her to sleep--yeah, it's still possible something bad happened to her close by, but Aerith's intention is obviously to be long gone at this point.
The change in Tifa's mindset was partially intended--Tifa with Aerith and Cloud in front of her can be more rational and set in what she would do to keep Aerith safe, Tifa with Aerith gone is pretty much going what if she's already in trouble or dead, maybe she should have caved in a bit so Aerith wouldn't have gone to that extreme with sneaking off--but I do think upon rereading that the change is a bit too extreme/at once and needs a bit more explanation and some moderation added back in.
...I'm worried I'm not thinking of the love triangle enough because you mention this and it's like I wasn't thinking of that at all, really: for me Tifa's just freaking out that Aerith is traveling completely alone to god knows where to do god knows what when everything's been so weird lately and they don't know what Sephiroth's doing (actually come to think of it she should probably have a slight but very real fear that Aerith's going to pull a harebrained stunt similar to one she did 5 years ago if the Planet's telling her to confront Sephiroth directly. And we all know how that ended for Tifa!
And we know this isn't going to end well for Tifa again, and in canon for Aerith...and that Barret does know where its located (which helps with explanations but does still make it curious that Shinra never managed to enter it as far as we know)
I might be touching on this more with Aerith's section if it goes that way, the Sleeping Forest protecting the city from intruders, but I think I was also attributing Barret knowing while Tifa doesn't to him having had a talk with an elder at Cosmo Canyon that she wasn't there for. Or it could come up in someone's section, anyway, that it is a known location but not exactly widespread knowledge or easily accessible.
2/2
Date: 2013-07-22 05:07 pm (UTC)But yes your inference was totally correct. And yeah, the dream apology always did feel a bit casual for hurting her; I'm not completely sure what IS going on there, especially since he's pretty worked up about what he's done when he wakes up, but it does seem like something he wouldn't fully remember given his state of mind when it happened. I can see it as a really fragmented memory where he can believe it must not have been as bad as the pieces suggest when Aerith is right here talking to him, serene and positive, not angry with him...and then he wakes up and she's gone and everyone else is scared and upset and it really was that bad, if not worse.
I've used the description of tinnitus for Cloud's episodes for a long time now--it just always seemed to me like yeah, the audio effect was possibly supposed to be mimicking a sound Cloud's actually hearing during the attacks.
ahaha yeah... Cloud's not stable enough to deal with the truth in himself, and the girls really can't help him that way; part of the difficulty in this scene was actually not being sure how to include Tifa's POV, as her worries are a big part of why the conversation he wants to have with her wasn't going to be successful. (Remember how way back at the beginning of the comment I said the nearly-standalone/possible companion piece drifted into Cloud trying to talk to Tifa at the Forgotten City? Okay.. It was supposed to transition with Tifa being both surprised and a bit uncomfortable that Cloud seemed to be if anything sticking closer to her after anything, until the night when he tries to talk to her. And she listens for a while, but then cuts him off because she recognizes he's looking for her reassurance and she can't do that when her 'nuclear option' is that if everything turns out all right, if they get Aerith back and her plan has worked and Sephiroth is stopped, then she's going to confess things to Aerith. And then they will find a safe place to rest and she will confess things to Cloud and that will be a nuclear fallout of its own.) This is definitely a part I'm wishy-washy on so it might need a lot of rewrite, possibly just in the form of plain starting over. It wasn't Cloud I was having issue with so much as Tifa, and the interplay between them (and having any confidence in that...)
REWRITING THIS WILL BE INTERESTING. Honestly I feel glad just to have this kind of "out".
The pillars are really interesting--I was just looking at them again while thinking of Tifa going up them and it was like, come on. Why would the Cetra have put them up like that, it's dumb. I definitely like the idea of there having been more pillars at one point/they were otherwise shifted out of place. And yeah, Cloud's uncertainty is partly his own (because he wants to do right by Aerith so shouldn't he be the one to get her back?, because why does Tifa not want him to go up, does she think he'd...?), but it's definitely also Sephiroth encouraging him to think he should be the one who goes up first. I definitely was very brief when first writing it and it could use a little more detail there. And yeah when Cloud tries going up anyway that was DEFINITELY Sephiroth prodding him there, curtailed much more quickly than his canon episodes thanks to him being closer to someone (Barret likes Cloud. And he likes Tifa. And this is why he won't let Cloud pull stupid crap when Tifa calls a shot, because if she feels strongly enough to speak up over what Cloud wants it's time to shut up and listen to her).
Actually, per 'The One Who Didn't Die' Sephiroth is concerned that Aerith has been successful, but he quickly covers that up because there are ways around it (...as in canon, pretty much). It definitely wasn't desired, though. Tifa definitely would have seen annoyance if she looked up. Maybe a touch of bemusement too, for her saving Aerith.
The rambling is very, very helpful!! I'm going to try out a round and see what happens with that.
Re: 2/2
Date: 2013-07-22 10:47 pm (UTC)Re: 2/2
Date: 2013-07-23 09:03 pm (UTC)I'd very much agree with your interpretation of 'sweetheart' and 'soul mate' there; there is a difference in feel to them I'd personally add innocent/innocence to the sweetheart meaning as well; there's something chaste-like to the term/it being a stage before becoming lovers kind of feel to it (it also sort of feels like its a more one-sided situation. Both can be the other's sweetheart but that doesn't have the same reciprocal feel as a soul mate). And yeah soul mate has a concrete certainty to this and there is no doubt about how you relate to the other (even though it doesn't necessarily apply to romance). Definitely liking the reflecting back to realise that once Cloud's back to himself properly she really does have two soul mates; she's probably still not entirely taken with the concept, but she can't really think of anyway to express the connection the three of them wind up with.
Ack! Yeah, I did wonder if the two Tifa sections were supposed to be directly connected, and even though its restating the scene it felt like it was only slightly too much exposition for the time passing. Definitely accepting head-canon from now on that both Cloud and Aeris were laid up in the Gongaga inn - and it does feel right the village is too small for the group; they aren't going to expect tourists, they have little of value after the reactor exploded, and random visitors are a distinct rarity.
Ah the phrasing about checking is just how it sounds in my head, so feel free to ignore that one (and I should remember slight language differences as to me "He spit" sounds really off versus "He spat").
Ah okay, that part about there being no pause makes sense like that - and yeah I'd agree it feels too early for her to know that the task requires a Cetra, she just knows the Planet wants her to do something and go somewhere currently. And that does work nicely with Tifa adrift in the situation and latching onto that first thing she can. heh - that is true, Tifa *would* be willing to do anything, it just seemed to nicely tie into what was coming. Glad you like the scale/balance thing! And I can definitely see that Tifa thinking if Cloud wakes up okay then things will be fine, and he can help stop Aeris doing something dangerous.
Hehe - yeah of all the aspects of Aeris's plan, going alone is right out in Tifa's book.
Oh, the echo to Utena would be really good (and I could see Tifa saying this after concluding she's lost in the love-triangle as well; the need to be part of Aeris's life even if she can be nothing more then friends), but yeah so very hypocritical given what Aeris is about to do - so yeah, very much the sentiment is nice, but really not the time for it (and if she did I can see Tifa endlessly rehearsing what she'll say when they find Aeris again, and those thoughts just dry up when they do find her, and Tifa is too happy to shout at her now (except that then this could occur randomly much later when everything is calm/after Tifa's been healed)) and that probably would lead into an argument between them. So I'd agree I think the situation reads right as it is; they've wound in a state none of them really wanted, but they need Cloud awake and no end of the world scenario hanging over them to start sorting themselves out.
Hooray for the Aeris-centric section if you do write that.
Haha - Tifa in my responses/reading of the fic winds up channeling so much of my relationship anxieties - not that I have been in anything like that situation, but its just the little worries I'd wind up fixating on, the relief when nothing happens but the worry that next time, next time is the heartbreak of seeing something. But yes, I can easily see her clearing out if they were both awake to give the couple some time alone and that just leaving things slightly awkward between Cloud and Aeris so Aeris goes to fetch her back (kind of like Fidelity when Cloud is *determined* to give Zack and Tifa their alone time while completely misreading the whole situation). And the shippiness was really nice of them curling up to sleep.
It really isn't quite the right moment, but it is amusing to think of Aeris waking up and surveying the situation/how hemmed in she was/how that seemed such a good idea at the time to let Tifa really snuggle into her but now she needs to get going. She's already a little tangled in the sheets/leaning across Tifa is just going to wake her, upwards has a wall in the way. Well, down it is then. *wriggle*wriggle* And yeah her dress is just tangled and sliding up her legs.
I like the thought actually that once everything is settled down, Tifa pulls out a notebook which has become headed "Little things I need to talk about to Aeris" (which becomes more important once she realises she's in love) to go through things like fifteen minutes of chatting means fifteen minutes, the perils of saving the world solo and stretching white lies and you: why she shouldn't do it again. I'd very agree Tifa's sentiment is exactly right, its Aeris's successful defusing of it that needs a slight adjustment. And oh! I really like the rejoining Tifa on the bed and humming the lullaby like that with the changed lyrics and that has a great rightness to it (more subtle then I had Aeris with her just using Sleep in on her). Especially the far too late realisation of what Aeris is doing and she can't let her... (and then that one goes in the book of dicussions above: why using magic to subdue your loved ones is a really bad thing). And yeah, definitely something to be dicussed in the One Who Didn't Die with her.
Definitely like the choice of Vincent - and that is good reasoning for it too (though I do also like Barret and Yuffie's enthusiastic searching, leaving Cid to ask Vincent about the better way to do this for the remainder of the party). Ah, I forgot about rant from Cid in the next fic (been a while since I read it...), but that does make sense for why Tifa doesn't entertain the idea - even now Aeris isn't going to run into the infested jungle like that. And true if Tifa was put out with magic that does undercut some of the thought process sadly. As much as I like the incremental worries/realisations/fears from Tifa, the lullaby currently wins out over that.
Ah, I did rethink the comment about the love triangle comment and realized I was looking from too far ahead. The abandoning Cloud at this stage to go with Aeris is actually better on reflection as Tifa has fallen for Aeris but doesn't realise it yet - at this stage she's not thinking polyamorously so it has to be one rather then the other, and currently it's Aeris who's winning and she doesn't care how her affections are currently orientated; she has to be kept safe; whether for her gain or Cloud's is currently immaterial. The Cloud aspects are sort of brewing, but Cloud needs to be fixed first - Tifa isn't entirely sure about Cloud; its that whole judgement of them both that Aeris could be her soul mate and she can't think of Cloud in those terms yet. So actually, ignore the previous comment as I was looking at this with meta knowledge most readers aren't going to have! Oh, and the fear that Aeris might pull a similar stunt to her own confrontation with Sephiroth is good one, and yeah given how that one went, she *cannot* let Aeris do that as well.
Ah, that works for Barret's knowledge. I like that.
Hooray I got the inference! And yeah the dream apology is a little light-weight given what the apology is for, and I like that idea that he can't really remember, but has that memory he dearly hopes isn't true and it can't be that bad because Aeris is so willing to talk to him... and damn. And to his horror (and leading into his fears) its just as bad as he feared.
Ack - yeah Tifa's POV does sound essential for why the conversation he's trying to have isn't going to get very far... And yeah I can see Tifa being surprised/uncomfortable by the sudden increase in attention (she might also attribute it to fair-weather friendship/some doubts about how Cloud does feel about Aeris if he's going to take to her so rapidly like this). And yeah I can see Tifa thinking that if everything is still okay she'll tell Aeris how she feels and see how things come out, and then drop the bomb on Cloud in a different sense).
I do like the wondering about the altar under the city as its one thing that is overlooked; it half looks like a city down there rather then a place of worship, so I do like questions about how and why the city appears to us as it does (and if there were more organic buildings that are gone in the largely barren areas, or are there other ways down to areas like the altar where the Cetra lived...). I think the Sephiroth encouraging Cloud to go to Aeris before Tifa feeds back into the tumblr conversation of Cloud needing a justification for his impulses - at that point he's compelled but he honestly also wants to be the one to talk to Aeris, but does back down at Tifa's request. The second movement curtailed by Barret is more blatant manipulation and that's going to worry him somewhat that he's agreed to not go up there, but his body suddenly overrode his mind...
Ah - as above, too long since I read the One Who Didn't Die, but I do like that this plan going wrong has opened him up to an unguarded moment, however quickly he recovers and tries to hide it.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-07-27 05:53 pm (UTC)(Also I have pretty much accepted at this point that at least Aerith's part and probably Tifa's will be totally long compared to other chapters. OH WELL.)
**
Sleep was what guarded the greatest secret of the Planet, and sleep was what guarded Aerith now. Her own rest back in Gongaga had been filled with dreams of a forest, the voices of the trees rustling through their leaves to her, branches beckoning her to come, come. Northward. The summons was to a place on the northern continent. She'd reached out to them with her spirit, her thoughts seeking root to stand her in their earth, but that wasn't enough: they needed her to arrive in the flesh.
Still, she'd made some connection, drawing back with her to the waking world a small gift of their knowledge in Planet magic, a powerful tranquility that could lull even the fiercest of monsters… or the most steadfast of friends. Tifa hadn't suspected the new ability until it took hold of her, and the confusion in her wine red eyes as she'd finally stopped clutching Aerith's wrist had hurt to see. She hadn't understood why she was letting go, because it was something she wouldn't have done of her own choice. The woman from sector 7 had suffered such a terrible loss just a few months ago, her second home and three good friends, it was little surprise she'd cling at the fear of losing another comrade. Aerith wished she'd lingered and murmured lullabies until Tifa was in a slumber all her own. She wished she hadn't needed to leave at all. But she had, and quickly; so she'd used a trick.
Tifa was going to be really mad at her. …She would be alive to get mad. That was what was most important. Sephiroth had proven all too willing to hurt, kill and use people to make his miserable future a reality. Shinra Headquarters and the cargo ship to Costa Del Sol had both been turned into bloodbaths by him. The temple had had only one casualty, Tseng…and his body had been missing as they left the Temple to escape its shrinking confines. Hopefully that meant a rescue by the other Turks, and healing; Aerith didn't want to think of him dead, for all he'd been dead wrong about her ever helping Shinra. But then there was Cloud. To say she was scared of Cloud now wouldn't be even remotely correct. But scared for him? Yes. He still hadn't woken as she'd left; his injuries ran so much deeper than her bruises and lacerations. Just the night before the temple, before everything had gone wrong, she'd felt sure enough that something was amiss to try asking him about it where they couldn't be interrupted, where he couldn't feel pressured to keep up his confident act, and though his blank confusion had left her even more disquieted… even her worst suspicion, that Cloud might have something in common with the black-cloaked figures, hadn't prepared her for the unvoiced wailing that had started the moment Sephiroth held an expectant hand out to the younger man.
Something terrible had been done to Cloud. No soul should ever sound like that, be in that much pain. She didn't know how to heal it, but she could at least try to make sure Sephiroth didn't take advantage of that hurt again. That meant keeping Cloud safe, away from the conflict and with friends who would help him out. None of their friends needed to be involved in this. Really, it was better for her to be on her own right now; one person was harder to track than nine, lighter and swifter on her feet than the whole group.
And right now, she didn't even need to rest. Sleep was a necessity for many living things, but for the moment that didn't seem to include her. Her night and day alike passed in transit through an ever-changing landscape, first walking on foot and then charming her way onto a truck, which led to stowing away on a boat on the second evening, still alert, buoyed by not only the waves but the fear of an entire Planet transfigured into adrenaline that shot through her body like lightning. Because it knew, and now she did too, that she was the only one who could fix things. Even if she didn't know how yet; that piece of the puzzle was still unclear in the silent turmoil rumbling through the earth.
…No pressure, right? She ignored the choppy sea to keep her eyes fixed on the northern skies, once it was late enough for her to dare creeping out. Her mind was on the calm forest, full of life and peace. That was the first step to stopping Sephiroth in his tracks. The rest could be figured out there.
One Shinra sailor discovered her in the morning as she was sneaking off-board. One Shinra sailor was going to have a very bad day, kicking it off by napping on duty. She followed the unloading of goods to a village of ruins and excited excavators; though she overheard its name being said, besides a thought of how apt it was, she couldn't remember it a moment later. Her mind was on the forest, and the forest was in front of her. It started some ways ahead, at the edge of the village, but the silver tint to the lush leaves was immediately recognizable, and that one wayward branch…it was swaying slightly, easily dismissed as only the wind, but she took it as a welcome.
She ran to it. She was just at the fringe, almost inside when a firm hand caught her by the shoulder and spun her around to a man who stared down at her with disbelief. Sleep sprang to mind, the magic so strong with the woods at her back, but that impulse was checked by the layer of dirt on his clothes. Hardly threatening at all; this was someone who loved nature and got up close and personal with it. Too bad he was likely one of the excavators and not a gardener. "Miss," he said, "Don't you know it's dangerous to go in there?! That's the Sleeping Forest—"
Another apt name, she mused. She should have guessed. Someone around here was either very wise, or very uncreative.
"…You go in now without a lunar harp to wake it up, and it'll confuse you! You could get lost forever!"
'Lunar harp' sounded like a rare thing. Sounded like a delay. Sounded like the last thing she wanted or anyone needed. She hummed, tucking her hands behind her and looking upward to where the canopy of leaves stretched into sky. Would the forest really confuse her? Now, of all times? That'd be rather poor of it, since its life was linked to the Planet's.
The branch was waving her in. The leaves were rustling, and that pull on her, like she was water in the earth being drawn in by their roots, was as strong as ever.
Come.
She needed to listen to and trust in the voices leading her if anything was going to get done.
Aerith dropped her chin to beam widely at the excavator and shifted her small bag of possessions back onto her shoulder, making the things in it jangle and shift. "That's sweet of you to worry, but I already have one."
"What, really?" he blurted, clearly surprised.
"Of course! After all, I'm being expected."
He looked so stumped by that statement, glancing suspiciously at her and her light bag, but the important thing was that he didn't protest or stop her again as she ran into the forest.
And then, suddenly, she was well and truly lost, even as she came to a stop only thirty yards from the entrance. She knew which way that was still. The problem was that it was becoming clear the forest didn't have the answer she was looking for. Its invitation taken, it seemed content to sleep, like its part was done. It took some time for her to calm down from the panic that ensued—what was she doing out here, if not saving the Planet? How could she have left Tifa and Cloud and everyone else behind for nothing?—reach out to the Planet again, and realize that the forest really had been a first step. The trees were knowledgeable because their roots ran deep enough to brush near a vein of Lifestream, and their elders had taught and been taught by the Cetra, but they weren't all-knowing. They knew where the answer was, but they didn't have it themselves. And if they had nothing more to say now than satisfied murmurs of a cultivator's return…the answer must be just past them. Where her ancestors had lived.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-07-27 05:54 pm (UTC)Now was the time to rest. Even the Planet seemed to recognize it, the steady pulse of its fear ebbing, letting the exhaustion previously put aside leech back into her limbs. Aerith laid herself down under one of the biggest trees, where spots of sunlight peeked through the boughs to warm her hair. It was such an idyllic place for a nap with her bolero folded under her head for a pillow, and she wasn't exactly lacking for company with the trees dozing all around her or a Planet brushing up against her mind periodically as if it needed to make sure she was still exactly where she'd been left. Which it probably did need to make sure, given she was the only Cetra, but honestly.
"You are being an awful lot like Cloud right now," she sighed tiredly. Not lacking for company, yet missing particular ones all the same. Having traveled with AVALANCHE for so long now, she couldn't help but fill in missing places. Cloud would have gotten a campsite set up, but in lieu of tents he'd take position with his back to a tree, almost like her, though she doubted he'd also take the luxury of actually lying down. No, he'd sit upright, and only close his eyes after a silent head-count, and Aerith always had to wonder if he'd ever slept easily. Yuffie would be sprawled out and already snoring, used to rough bedding; Nanaki would also be quick to sleep but neater about it, curled up with one ear tilted up to hear an approach. He'd learned to tune out Barret, who usually had to grumble some before he could get comfortable. Vincent and Cid were harder to place and Aerith was admittedly distracted from their pretend naps as she realized she kept placing Tifa close by her side despite the open space. But that was just how they were most comfortable, close by each other, with Tifa's exhale and inhale a second rhythm to play off the breath of the earth. The woman could wear a crown of flowers in her hair, crooked from sleep but still marking her as queen of the forest and stubborn Cetra for a day, a sort of apology. Maybe just an excuse to see her face framed by floral color. Aerith was sure she'd look beautiful.
One green eye slit open to immediate disappointment. No Tifa. No Barret. No Nanaki, no Yuffie, no Cloud. Safely away, she reminded herself: that's where they needed to be. Especially Cloud. And she needed to be…she closed her eyes again, one ear turned to the ground, and reached out with her hand to brush the knot of a bumpy root where it broke earth. As her fingers traced the patterns of its bark, her mind traced its path below ground, twisting down through many yards of soil and rock to that smooth vein of milky green. How can Meteor be stopped? she asked the current, and it murmured back:
North. Searching. Magic, protection lodged deep in the heart of the Planet. Sleep magic had been easy to borrow from the shallows of the Lifestream; this could not be borrowed. This could only be unlocked, and allowed to run its course.
The current couldn't tell her any more than that, not clearly. It was a closely guarded secret, necessary with certain creatures having tried to use that knowledge for harm. She'd have to figure out the rest when she woke back up. She thanked the current and, as her body fell to sleep, turned her attention in the opposite direction to flow with it as she retraced her journey. After miles of land there was a crack in the sea floor where the pale glow of the Lifestream flowed up and refracted through miles and miles of ocean water, and here Aerith was for a moment horrified and almost jolted back to her body by the realization that the edges of the Lifestream were touching living bodies, fish from their smooth movements. That horror gave way to astonishment as their movements continued smoothly, not just fearless of mako poisoning but seemingly completely unaffected by the exposure, maybe even numb to it; they didn't seem very interested in the volume of knowledge in the flow. A human body couldn't have coped with it at all.
Then the Lifestream winded back into earth, and she followed it with careful navigation around a large packet of silence that had to be the Corel desert and found Gongaga by the bitter tang of its earth that only grew sharper as the Lifestream brushed up against the ruined reactor. Aerith's thoughts flicked through a long-stagnant puddle of mako, getting a feel for its sense, before jumping to the much more potent energy close by in the village, contained in the person she'd wanted to check on: Cloud.
'You're still sleeping?', she thought in dismay. She'd hoped he was still in the village, and it was possible he'd woken up at some point and fallen back asleep naturally, but that didn't seem like the case. His mind was worryingly quiet, without dream or drive. There was only one thought she could pick up, and it was tainted with confusion and fear.
…Don't wake me.
Aerith pulled back, fearful of upsetting him, for all of a handful of seconds. But—he couldn't just not wake up. She was sure they'd had this conversation with Vincent, so Cloud really ought to know better by now. …She couldn't exactly blame him for forgetting, when his mind felt like its own tomb. Rather than scolding, she'd have to lure him out. It was more than she'd planned to do, but leaving him like this for another moment was unthinkable; he wasn't the only one who needed to recover. With how much time had passed with her gone and him still sleeping, everyone must be worried sick. Poor Tifa especially…
What would make Cloud agreeable to waking up after the nightmarish reality of the temple? How could she persuade him? The answer seemed obvious after some brief thought: a dream. A restful dream that he wouldn't have to wake up for, but could restore some of his hope for the waking world. And she knew just the place to show him, gently pushing thoughts of the Sleeping Forest at him, showing where each tree sprung up and how the sunlight filtered through leaves tickled by a gentle breeze.
But as she built up each part of the dream, there was only silence. Was she taking the wrong tack completely? Was it impossible for her to help him? She shooed that thought away; it wouldn't help. She had to show him a brighter outlook right now. With that in mind she stepped into the dream herself, choosing a tree from which to peek out. Playfully, just as she might have on a better day.
"Cloud, can you hear me?"
He didn't appear as she'd hoped, but a response did come, cautious and almost child-like: Yeah, I hear you. Sorry for what happened.
She smiled. Any response was better than nothing, and he didn't need to feel worse about what had happened. The injuries were long gone, and it hadn't really been him who hurt her. "Don't worry about it."
I can't help it…
"Oh…" That sure was the sound of guilt there. She couldn't be surprised it wasn't so simple for Cloud; anyone with a bit of rationality would have been upset by that. How to reassure him? She played a bit as she thought, disappearing behind her tree and choosing to jump out from another as both a distraction and invitation for Cloud. Didn't she seem to be having fun? This was their dream, a reality they could play with however they wanted. Maybe he'd like to join her?
Still no appearance. Well, he did think differently from her. In fact— "Then, why don't you REALLY worry about it?" she suggested, hoping this wouldn't backfire and make him more afraid. She would have hated being told to worry, but it wasn't like he could pretend nothing was wrong… actually, he had pretended extremely convincingly, but they'd still ended up here from that. Obviously it wasn't the answer. What he needed, now that the problem was staring him in the face, was to accept it was there but believe that he'd get better. And he would get better. They'd gotten this far, hadn't they? And she was figuring out how to take care of Meteor. "Let me handle Sephiroth!" She pounded a fist against her chest and laughed, as if the man didn't scare her at all. Having a Planet on her side helped, and she let herself disappear before peeking out from a third tree. "And Cloud, you take care of yourself. So you don't have a breakdown, okay?"
It was, admittedly, a very simple plan for a serious problem that neither of them seemed to know the cause of. But there were seven reasons why it'd work: all their friends were with him. And once she'd worked out the Planet's protection against Meteor, she'd talk with Tifa again; maybe they could tease out more of the issue that way. They both wanted to help Cloud.
This time she dropped down from the canopy, slowly, like she was a leaf that could catch the breeze. And after a few seconds, Cloud joined her in the carefree fall, his bright blue eyes fixed on her with eagerness. Even if the tension in his dream self said he was still scared, he was listening to her, trusting her. She could just about cheer but swallowed that outburst behind a broadening smile. Once they were both on the ground, he looked about them—and see! Curiosity! He'd want to know what was going on in the waking world too soon enough. "Where are we?"
Hmm. Why not tell him? Since he knew there was a problem, he'd feel reassured to know better what was being done to fix it. "This forest leads to a city of the Ancients… and is called the Sleeping Forest." Again, an apt name. Her smile quirked before growing more solemn. "It's only a matter of time before Sephiroth uses Meteor. That's why I'm going to stop it. Only a survivor of the Cetra can do it. Only me." She took a few steps toward the bright sunlight on the other side of the trees to show a general idea of where she was headed before her feet abruptly stopped.
She could feel something calling her, even in this dream. No, because she was in this dream. The Sleeping Forest would confuse any person who wandered into it while it was sleeping with its dreams, ever-shifting and changing… unless the person was able to shift and change with them. That was why it had been time to rest.
"The secret is just up here," and she barely remembered to turn back as she said that. Right, she was explaining things to Cloud. "At least it should be." …Though maybe that had been a little too honest. She quickly shook her head, putting more firmness in her voice. "I feel it. It feels like I'm being led by something."
Oh, dear. He looked worried, a frown marring the beginnings of calm in his expression. She cut in quickly; she didn't have time to stay and reassure him, much as she'd like, so she'd have to stop him from worrying before that could get seriously underway. "Then, I'll be going now. I'll come back when it's all over." She waved, then turned to go. Cloud would wake up. She'd known from their very first meeting that he was resilient. He just needed encouragement.
Still, the confusion his voice put in her name as he tried to call her back stung just a bit, bringing back the memory of Tifa's lost expression as she'd let go. She hoped they both understood she was doing this because it was the best way to keep everyone safe. If she was the only one who could fight Sephiroth's plan, she was the only one who needed to be in any danger. It was that simple.
For now, she focused on getting through the dream of the forest.
**
...Basically I think "I have ideas" with me and Aerith really means OOOH OOOH CAN I MESS AROUND WITH PLANET MAGIC NOW lmfao
(no subject)
Date: 2013-07-27 08:53 pm (UTC)I do like all the new Planet knowledge and how that lets her subdue Tifa, and the implication this is how she's wandering easily without being attacked once by anything. Really do like that Aeris would have rather gotten Tifa back to sleep by her own efforts, and one part of the reason why Tifa would be so reluctant to let her go (oh you three... please talk to each other. Soon. Except I know that's a good way off). But she has gotten her justifications in place in her mind; she's not minding that Tifa will be angry, she's guaranteeing Tifa will be there to be angry with her. I... honestly can't remember if Tseng is due to survive in the next fic; I remember from some stuff on Tumblr recently that you don't mind him surviving (certainly not as objectionable as Rufus's shakey ability to not die), and I like how this has been left open-ended for either option. Really like that she isn't scared of Cloud, but scared for Cloud... and this is part of why she makes the dream connection later, and that she doesn't yet understand how its ocurred but is determined to not allow it to be exploited again.
And she has so many justifications for being on her own! And from a third person, meta-knowledge perspective we know her conclusions aren't necessarily quite correct, but its effective for why she does believe she needs to do this. The not resting is a nice idea too, and helps for the speed of her leaving and partly how she can get to the Sleeping Forest so quickly.
Little details are really nice like the Shinra sailor shortly to have a very bad day when discovering her, and I like how she's gotten too used to that power by the time she reaches the forest edge - it's all about removing the obstruction quickly rather then responding to the situation, and how close she came to just doing it automatically - it feels like while she might well retain the ability after this she'll be a lot more sparing as she was just plowing through obstructions with it. And I really do like that she's more willing to talk to him given his dirty appearance.
(really like her cheerful I already have one claim about the Lunar Harp, and that the lie is either so outrageous, or faintly plausible it gives her enough time to get away from the excavator).
...and I like that the Sleeping Forest immediately gets Aeris to sleep here. It's like it was adrenaline rushing/caffeine infusing her to get her to a place where no one can (easily) follow, and now it really needs to let her body recover - it's overwritten her basic biology, but it can't make her indestructible so she needs a break (...and random thought while typing: what if the pause were due to her half-human nature? Not sure I like my own idea here, but the human side of her needs this break, needs to recover, while the Planet could get a full Cetra the entire rest of the way AND start the summoning sequence for Holy).
Liking the Planet being very sure where it left its last Cetra though.
The imagined campsite layout is really cute and how she does lay out where everyone is, and she fumbles slightly on Cid and Vincent, but only because she's realised she's imagining Tifa right next to her, and that just overrides the thought process, and that's fine because they're comfortable like that, and Aeris imagining her with the floral crown was nice. And then - yeah, she has to check. She knows its not going to reveal everyone there, but she does it anyway just in case.
And the Planet still isn't going to clear on what she has to do...
I'd always formerly thought of the dream intrusion by Aeris as her being awake and connecting to Cloud, but I do like it as part of her falling asleep. And I especially like the connecting to the undersea rift (subject of many fake-rumours for FFVII), and I really like the odd detail about the oceanic ecosystem that is in place around the Lifestream here - and how initially that connection feels horrific, before fading as she observes them. And I like her following it round to Gongaga, orientating herself with the Corel desert.
This whole next section I'm not sure I can comment on, as I just like how you've combined the game-script with the thought processes behind the choice of words, the phrasing, how Aeris is presenting herself and her reactions or lack of visible reactions to Cloud. Especially little details about how she eventually coaxes him to appear in the dream after initially appearing and disappearing as she does... And just how much she trusts their friends at this stage; seven reasons why her plan would work, and how once this is done, then she and Tifa are going to fix Cloud.
(especially like that even in the dream she gets distracted by the Planet's call, and has to concentrate to turn back and say goodbye, and her notion that since she is the only one who can stop Sephiroth, she should be the only one in danger. Simple, but oh Aeris, they wouldn't have parted with you for the world. At least later they can demonstrate that...)
***
In short: this was really, really good! And I do like Aeris messing with Planet magic. And now to the actual reply!
this is a lot of rambling
Date: 2013-07-28 06:36 pm (UTC)I did wonder if maybe the reason given for Tifa is a bit too impersonal--which seems really weird because it's still about them being friends, but I just don't know if it comes through on the phrasing that even if Aerith hasn't twigged onto 'love' they are very dear friends. Or maybe it's that she knows but she also thinks it'd hurt Tifa just as much to lose anyone in AVALANCHE so she's not elevating herself...which is probably about what I was thinking the first time I wrote it. PHRASING. /bats at But haha yeeeeeah they need to talk. And circumstances are not going to help them talk for a while (it's so tempting to AU something so that Tifa doesn't land in the second "out for a week" situation after the northern crater because GOSH that is a lot of unconsciousness to go through. And then at the same time I'm not sure how I would change things up if she was awake the whole time--would Barret and her even be in Shinra custody, given that it seemed to be a trap under the guise of getting proper care for Tifa? \o_O/ Something to think about when I'm actually writing the next fic, I guess...)
Oh man that tumblr conversation annoyed me for how much it harped on "but Rufus is interesting his story is interesting" INTERESTING IS SUBJECTIVE??? (I like how his story possibly being framed as a tragedy was pooh-pahed, like VII and really most Final Fantasies aren't built up on tragedies.) Anyway. My issue with Rufus and Tseng's retconned survivals isn't so much from a worldbuilding or characterization standpoint (Tseng's death only got Elena pissed off at the party which is easily possible with the compilation explanation that has him disappearing, Scarlet and Heidegger don't need Rufus to be all the way dead yet to be their jerky selves and power-hungry) so much as a dramatic/writing standpoint (compilation is kind of like FFIV at this point--no one moderately important really dies except Tellah. Or Aerith/Zack and I'd bet money that's only because that would make the preferred portrayal for Cloud utter nonsense). Also, the feasibility of some of the survivals is really really weak ("L" for "loser" YES BECAUSE THE PRESIDENT WOULD WANT THAT IN HIS OFFICE JUST TO MAKE FUN OF HIS SON??? ffs his whole thing is money money money, sure he might mock his son at the moment but why would he actually have commissioned the project and wasted money on something he thought useless). Basically it's easy enough for me to ignore in writing a fanfic the "they're dead! ...wait, no they're not" nonsense that I wouldn't feel the need to kill them off unless I thought they were blocking more interesting possibilities. The fic's not about how they died so I'm not going to worry about how they miraculously survived either, that's off-screen as much as possible. Which is why Aerith isn't going "He died :(" in here but "oh man Sephiroth be crazy, he could have killed Tseng :(... but I haven't heard him die, maybe he got rescued...?"
tl;dr I still think Rufus' survival is ridiculous but both him and Tseng will survive 'the one who didn't die' unless I feel murderous toward fictional characters at some point in plotting (...not impossible). A live Rufus will quietly have been on the fringe of the blast rather than lol smack dab center in my head. I am mildly in despair people think retcons are necessary for interesting stories. MOVING ON
Just given her canon attitude toward Cloud, I can't think she was ever mad at or scared of Cloud for what had happened. I guess I like to make a note of it because it's so easy for Cloud to have thought she did (and this might come up a bit in his section. maybe. to be honest I'm not quite sure what tack I'm using to open that section yet.)
Haha the "not resting" initially tied into the sleep magic too and it was more like Aerith DID have complete control over both the magic and what was going on with her body, but then it seemed sort of odd to do it that way considering sleep is actually a necessary thing. So yeah it got tweaked to be the Planet pretty much pushing her to go go go and she's supposed to come off as edging toward slap-happy by the time she gets to Bone Village--she's so focused on the Forest that she doesn't remember the town's name, she has gotten trigger-happy with the magic (which yes, she'll be more careful with later on), and she's having some inane thoughts when the night before her thoughts were purely serious. She's still on-task enough to get things done but prooooobably would've needed sleep soon no matter what.
Funny enough at one point her being half-human was actually connected to the travel, but in a positive way--all the modes of transportation (besides her walking) are man-made, and she was going to be musing about how she knew to go where the Lifestream was muddled to find civilization. Then it was like "wow this is getting long already". (Though now that I say all her transportation was man-made, it's kind of humorous to think of the group finding her missing...and the chocobo lure. c'mon Planet, send her a gold! (Truly random tangent: one of her abilities in Theatrhythm is to increase the chances of getting a good chocobo during special segments. She's the only one who learns that ability.)) I don't really see the Cetra as hardier than humans so if a pure Cetra would have made it I would attribute it more to lifestyle (...and Aerith is less experience to harsh traveling so there could be something there) than physiology.
In the end, I did make it that her being asleep is actually a requirement for crossing the Sleeping Forest without the Lunar Harp (in the beginning this was going to actually be Aerith having to wake the Forest without the harp but still with music and involve singing and then it was like "no no not that much singing we are not making her a Disney princess here, just the lullaby"), so it's not all that bad that she has to sleep there, and is in fact part of why the Planet backs off for the moment...just a bit. Because yeah it is not letting its last Cetra wander off. XD
(ahaha the lie about the Lunar Harp is faintly plausible, which is part of why he lets her go, but it is very surprising and is surely going to seem more and more outrageous the more he thinks about it--because they can only be excavated there and he'd never seen her before.)
It's funny, but I just always thought of Aerith as being asleep when she contacted Cloud and lucid-dreaming. It's probably because when I was younger I was pretty interested in dreams and out-of-body experiences, even if I didn't believe in them. (...well, considering how I wrote this section, it's probably fair to say I still find them interesting XD) I'm not sure what is with me and FF7 and deep sea fish right now but I just really wanted to detail the oceanic rift and that there's still life down there, even as the Lifestream's gushing up into it. ...Now I'm curious what kind of rumors there were, though I'm not surprised there would be some--especially after one of the locales in FFV was a rift in the ocean floor.
I'm very, very glad that the scene for Aerith's dream sent to Cloud worked for you. It was a kind of weird turnabout as the whole dream is intended to make Aerith a bit mysterious, we're supposed to feel lost with Cloud about what she's doing, but at the same time Aerith's personality is such that there should be a sort of logic to this for her and she probably doesn't mean to cause Cloud any confusion at such a crucial time. I always knew I wanted the appearances/disappearances she pulls to be playful, but I was a bit stumped as how to handle Cloud's initial nonappearance in the scene--was she actually seeing him and he was just not in the screen, or what? The way his dialogue presentation changes seems to suggest he's not just off-screen but not with her at all at first and it turned into her having to coax him and in fact her trying to coax him to realize it's okay to wake up (which giving her a realistic travel time made seem like a necessity--he's surely been healed of all injuries at this point, so why hasn't he woken up yet? Unless it's because, as he says himself in the white-out scene, he doesn't think he should).
And yes, she trusts AVALANCHE...and still doesn't get why it's not okay to just run off without them to protect them. She will be hearing why she shouldn't in events to come, and Tifa and Cloud in particular definitely have strong feelings about that.
Re: this is a lot of rambling
Date: 2013-07-28 09:17 pm (UTC)I do think Aeris reckons losing anyone in Avalanche is going to hurt Tifa - especially after the loses in Midgar and throughout her life - it feeds into that observation that the VII cast are realyl likely to remain and be friends; there's no hint of allied for a mutual goal against their better judgement (not that I can think of that many examples in the FFs - Amarant keeps coming to mind in IX, but generally I can see the casts not wanting to lose touch in the aftermaths). And yeah, unfortunately circumstances get in the way of that rather vital discussion... Heh - I can definitely see the appeal of AUing to avoid the second week of unconciousness post-North Crater - especially given these circumstances where she's unconcious already... But yeah that does raise some complications for how/why/if Barret and Tifa are split off from the others at that stage, and what happens otherwise (if I remember the plan right, wasn't Aeris going to fall back into Hojo's clutches at this point?)
Haha! Yeah, the Compilation has got shades of FFIV to it - no one can die except Zack/Aeris - and yeah that's only stayed as it would impact Cloud too badly (I would also bet that the notion of concluding AC with Aeris/Zack's resurrection was mooted by someone along the line). You're right though, the refusal to let the characters die is infuriating - Tseng was a debatable point - though I think always assumed to be dead, while Rufus had sufficient fans to keep him alive in some instances. And oh, yeah the whole thing with President Shinra and the escape hatch and the L for Loser... I think this was the part of On the Way to a Smile it really felt like I was reading a badfic rather then an official addition to canon. Plus that even with that its badly designed as it seems to be responsible for several of Rufus's more problematic injuries rather then having the office explode around him.
Definitely liking Rufus on the edge of Diamond Weapon's blast rather then taking it to the face... And urgh; yeah, I don't see how retcons can be seen as necessary for interesting stories, or to even extend existing stories. (definite despair there)
I really liked that detail that Aeris is so focused on her mission she does miss Bone Village's name (at the same time, I did wonder if you were implying that Bone Village was more of a nickname and the place has an actual name of its own? Just one we never hear). Definitely liking the humorous notion of them finding Aeris gone and one single materia - the choco lure. And yeah, if the Planet sent her a Gold Chocobo, she'd be to the City of the Ancients in no time... (also that's a cool but random note on Theatrhythm).
Ah, yeah Aeris singing to wake the forest would be going too Disney Princess there (though would potentially allow that version of Aeris to get more involved in Kingdom Hearts if she was one of the princesses... Then again, sadly they seem to mostly get captured, so not such a great plan). But I do like the lie about the Lunar Harp - and it is effective because of the vague plausibility (despite being simultaneously very unlikely). Heh - dreams and out of body experiences are interesting - even if not believable, and the concepts behind them are useful for things like this. But its an interesting different way I'd never considered before, that Aeris can get into Cloud's dreams because they're both asleep and dreaming - it has a very nice right feel to it.
The detail on the oceanic rift is very welcome, and its something never detailed in canon as we never see any other life in the depths outside of Emerald Weapon - and it matches to the deep-sea organisms that live around the oceanic volcanic vents - very easy to see life around a Lifestream vent adapating to the conditions (/wondering how different the fish around Mideel are given the much more pronounced Lifestream...). Heh, I can't remember the precise details of those rumours, but I think it was under certain conditions you could descend in the submarine into the trench and into a new area. There might have been an additional summon or Weapon - I forget - and I think it endured a bit longer then some fake rumours as it really does look like there is more below the bottom of the ocean/the rift is clearly big enough for the submarine to go lower... It at least had more going for it then the rumour that you could (*somehow*) get onto Meteor and there was something else up there to do.
Heh - that is a good point the dream is supposed to make Aeris seem mysterious (very much the "Woah, has she always been able to do this kind of thing?" on the first play-through), but her personality still has to be a factor and yeah, she's going to want some logic for herself. I do like the idea he's not simply off-screen, as while the game implies this, it doesn't feel quite right for Cloud to be viewing the scene third person before entering it himself. And I like the justifications for why Cloud is taking so long to awaken/Aeris helping him understand its okay now.
Might have meandered a bit/rambled a tad there. Concentration complete gone this evening...
Re: this is a lot of rambling
Date: 2013-07-30 03:34 am (UTC)...lmfao it's friendship that keeps tripping me up now as I realized that I made Tifa afraid everyone would eventually part in the Gold Saucer chapter, while Aerith is so sure here that everyone will help Cloud and Tifa would be hurt by any of their deaths. They're not...necessarily contradicting, since 1) different characters, different perspectives and 2) Aerith viewing them as good people doesn't mean she thinks they're going to all stick tight together (and that they wouldn't doesn't mean it wouldn't hurt for their lives to be cut short) but I do wonder if something needs to be tweaked. In the Gold Saucer chapter it can probably be tweaked to be a bit more explicitly that Tifa thinks Cloud and Aerith will be caught up in each other and her own jealous feelings might get in the way. But yeah, something I have to think about... (I haven't really started the Cloud section yet and only poked a little at the part where Tifa is lulled to sleep. ahhhh I want to just finish and at the same time actually writing is ...:|;; I keep stumping myself pretty much.)
But yeah that does raise some complications for how/why/if Barret and Tifa are split off from the others at that stage, and what happens otherwise (if I remember the plan right, wasn't Aeris going to fall back into Hojo's clutches at this point?)
Yyyyyes general idea was Aerith was going to go back with Shinra her terms being to help the company purely by speaking to the Planet and trying to calm the WEAPONs or at least make a warning when they approach populated areas...knowing enough about Shinra that she's not really that surprised when they hand her off to Hojo (and on that note I kind of keep thinking too about what she might have to say at the Northern Crater... like the scene where Tifa is trying to shout to Cloud when Sephiroth's completely broken her and realizes he can't hear her voice, I imagine if Aerith's there too it's a similar deal and maybe it's only the girls who can hear each other (Barret/Nanaki doesn't seem to be able to hear Tifa either, as it would probably have given them pause to hear Tifa shouting at Cloud to stop when he's asking for the Black Materia); so they're effectively muted to everyone else but it doesn't stop them from trying and I imagine when Hojo tells Cloud "shut up, miserable failure" Aerith just absolutely explodes at him because he's always been like this, he's always dehumanizing people and hurting them without any care--and then Cloud is levitating up to Sephiroth and both girls are shouting at him again. Still doesn't work. :( ). One idea on the even-further-AUing is that Tifa for some reason is with Aerith... Except I don't know why Shinra would really take her conscious (I can see her insisting on going with Aerith to make sure Shinra's not pulling a fast one on Aerith even with Aerith going "NO" at her, but it seems much more likely Rufus would nix that as taking all three of Aerith, Barret and Tifa makes some coordinated resistance more likely, and leaving Barret behind makes the execution for public blame idea weaker--one woman isn't going to seem as likely as some horrible public threat as a duo (and sadly for Barret it is pretty much canon that he comes off the much more threatening one just by appearance alone). ...The only AU change I can really think works here is a brief-lived one, at least from Tifa's POV--she still gets knocked out, and Shinra will provide care for her and allow Barret to stay and Aerith comes with them--Aerith insists on helping heal Tifa. They grant this as a show of goodwill but still only intend this to be until Tifa regains consciousness; once she does, Aerith only has a brief time to talk with her until the surveillance camera gets checked and they realize oh, hey, the prisoners are awake to die and Aerith gets whisked out of the room on some excuse before Rufus reveals to Tifa and Barret the real reason they're there.
Haha, yeah, AC probably did have resurrection ideas being brought up at least once or in passing, just to be shot down.
Tseng I find very weird as, while Elena's line might have been badly phrased, there's still oddities--first, wasn't the translation done by the Japanese? Most of the translation errors always seemed to be idiot English, not a lack of understanding of what was going on in the original version. So while it's possible that they chose a bad English phrase not totally understanding its implication, it doesn't seem quite as likely... Second, why does Tseng never come up again in the game if he's alive? Even a casual comment would be nice. But then, you could probably argue the same about his death, that that should have also gotten comment from Reno or Rude.
But the third weird thing...why is Elena even angry at Cloud? Think of the original game scenario--if Tseng was supposed to have actually survived in that case, before compilation invented new people, Elena would have been the one to rescue him, being the nearest Shinra personnel. Are we to assume that despite being shown still conscious when Cloud goes on he then lost consciousness from the Temple of Ancients onward to Icicle Inn so that Elena never heard who actually did it? Even if he wasn't conscious, wouldn't Elena realize from the wound that hey, that's not the mark of a broadsword?
If we're assuming Elena is just THAT much a rookie that she thinks a stab wound from Masamune is from Cloud's broadsword (Yuffie's shuriken?? Cid's spear??) I suppose that works. But she knew they were following Sephiroth and that he had a possibility to be there too, so being that oblivious to realizing it was him seems pretty dumb. Going by OGC, Elena should have seen Tseng's body and realized it was Sephiroth...unless she plain didn't see the body, crushed in the temple.
So I think either Tseng's survival is a retcon, or the whole scenario in Icicle Inn wasn't well thought out in a way that isn't connected to translation.
And yeah, Case of Shinra definitely seemed more like badfic at some points.
at the same time, I did wonder if you were implying that Bone Village was more of a nickname and the place has an actual name of its own?
Ah ah, no, I did mean she heard "Bone Village" and thought "hmm fitting" and poof! it went out of her mind.
lmfao yes if anything KH is proof that Aerith does not need to be a disney princess. And oh yes! The sea rift is so, sooo much more plausible than the idea of getting onto Meteor (the idea of another summon is pretty believable since the sub is how you get both the Materia and Key of the Ancients).
I suppose it is possible that Cloud could be viewing the scene third person, as sort of him needing some time to "enter" the dream Aerith made, but I still just liked connecting it to the whole "don't wake me" line.
Haha I feel like my concentration's been gone for a while now.
Re: this is a lot of rambling
Date: 2013-07-30 10:14 pm (UTC)Haha - very true that Tifa's stance and Aeris's stance aren't necessarily contradicting due to their different perspectives/Tifa's more pessimistic view of the situations versus Aeris's much more optimistic - and yeah that Aeris thinks thet are all good people does not mean they will stick together (they've known Vincent and Cid for a relatively very short time) - but yeah it is still going to hurt to lose any of them, no matter how recently they met. Hmm... yeah that tweak sounds about right for Tifa's mindset at the Gold Saucer; her feeling she's going to be edged out/will get in the way if she stays as close/is not going to do herself any good by staying that close. Ah, I know that feeling about writing - really wanting to get it finished, but then some days, its just so hard to even begin/so much other things to investigate (I suspect you'll have seen, but just in case, there's an intriguing Rapture set BioShock Infinite DLC on the way, which sounds like it has a lot of potential and gives you control of Elizabeth (oh and reportedly Infinite 2 is just not going to happen. Probably a good thing, but now I'm hoping the Lutece's make it into the DLC...))
Ah - yeah, I still like Aeris returning to Shinra on strictly her terms, but never being surprised (so very, very disappointed, but not surprised) that they do hand her to Hojo like that. That's an interesting question for the Nort Crater - I like the detail that Aeris can still hear Tifa even if the other's can't - and yeah they would have reacted more if they'd heard her yells. And yeah, Aeris is going to explode at Hojo; she remembers what he was like before, and this is all uttely typical of him.
Hmm... taking Aeris with Tifa and Barret is tempting for the increased AU possibilities; but you're right, the motivations of Rufus don't quite work/as you said with the publically stated reason they want Aeris back to talk to the Planet/warn about Weapon approaches, it seems odder to lock her up with the Avalanche members. That said, I think the idea of it being a condition of Aeris's return works quite nicely so she does have until Tifa wakes up to stay with her and Barret (and actually, you could then use this to reduce the time it takes for Tifa to recover with Aeris able to assist the process. And she'll be torn between spending more time with Tifa even though she's unconcious and getting her awake only for her to be dragged away from her. I just remember you were wary of having Tifa be unconcious for seven days so rapidly after Sephiroth's attack at the City of the Ancients).
That is a good point about Elena's line in VII. From what I remember the VII translation was done entirely by Square themselves - and yeah most of the errors are slightly wonky grammar/the odd bad phrasing, but never noticeably inaccurate/misunderstood (which would be a greater risk for an external translator). So yeah, while it is possible that the phrasing is off in Elena's words, its not as likely to have gotten the meaning so wrong to confuse the situation. And yeah; Tseng's lack of in-game subsequent appearance is probably the strongest reinforcement of his death - it feels like he should have stopped the Turks from challenging Avalanche that final time, or tried to get Rufus out of his office, or helped Reeve escape confinement, or almost anything. Though that is also true that Reno and Rude never comment on it either.
...somehow a load of this just never occured to me; Elena being angry is confusing - and yeah before the Compilation (/two active Cait Siths at the Temple), Elena would have to be the one to get him away from the Temple - and yeah, its a big stretch to imply he never explained to Elena that it was Sephiroth who near killed him. The sword wound... is a bit trickier as Cloud does have some finer bladed swords I think so it might not be quite as obvious that the wound can't be from his normal weapon. That's a weak argument though.
Hmm... yeah while Elena is still quite rookie-like, I think even by that stage she'd be much more used to the Turks way of doing things to not make that mistake with the wounding, but it is possible that its the turning point and she becomes more serious as a result of that incident. But yeah, that it was possibly Sephiroth should have ocurred to her. Tseng getting crushed by the Temple would sort that a bit, but it does feel that unless Tseng crawled elsewhere, Cloud might have taken the second to grab him as they're fleeing out of the Temple.
Hehe - I think the easiest conclusion is that Tseng's survival is a retcon, fuelled by a slight narrative hitch in the way they presented Icicle Inn (or else it was an overlooked line from a point where Tseng was meant to survive, and when developing AC someone realised they'd not actively declared him dead. Then someone else nuisance pointed out that no one saw Rufus's body, and so...)
Ah - my mistake with Bone Village (though, like with Icicle Inn, it kind of feels that these places should have a name that feels more like a place name. Well, admittedly Bone Village feels like Rocket Town - it was never conceived as a settlement, it kind of developed as a result/they nicknamed their settlement and it stuck. Admittedly that could be true for Icicle Inn - originally there was just the Inn as a way-point and the other houses came later...)
Heh - good point on the sub. We could add the crashed Gelnika as well as things connected to it. And that rift just looks like it should be accessible.
Re: this is a lot of rambling
Date: 2013-07-31 05:14 pm (UTC)Yeah, I saw about the DLC! Well, I saw a gifset of meeting Elizabeth in Rapture, which I figured must be from a DLC. I'm curious to see what plot there is even though the closest I'll ever get to experiencing it is Let's Play or summaries...
and actually, you could then use this to reduce the time it takes for Tifa to recover with Aeris able to assist the process. And she'll be torn between spending more time with Tifa even though she's unconcious and getting her awake only for her to be dragged away from her. I just remember you were wary of having Tifa be unconcious for seven days so rapidly after Sephiroth's attack at the City of the Ancients
Mm, yeah. At the same time I mostly find the period of unconsciousness annoying because it winds up with her doing nothing, and if I get Tifa into that situation in Shinra custody...she's still going to wind up doing nothing until the execution/Sapphire WEAPON attack. (Unless I turn things really AU with Barret and Tifa escaping on their own, and I'm not sure how I'd have them meeting up with the others again and that's just more and more complicated.) Though it may still have potential as an opportunity for something... at least the scene together when she wakes up would be sweet (kind of bittersweet with Aerith knowing that aaaaaany minute now...)
...You know. With the Elena and Tseng thing now I kind of wonder if Elena's supposed to be pulling a Hope and blaming the person who is very obviously NOT TO BLAME but was involved and is much more easily punishable than the real responsible party. ...Her dialogue is kind of going a step too far for that unless she reaaaaaally convinced herself it could be one of Cloud's fine-bladed weapons. (Elena...writers...?! /_\) It does feel like a "hey, we never actually SAID he was dead" deal that chose to brush Icicle Inn's weirdness aside.
Yeah, I think Bone Village and Rocket Town are both makeshift settlements that just came into being rather than being planned--and that does sound right for Icicle Inn (I always do wonder when looking at that one if it shouldn't have another name as a town though--which is funny because I don't even think of it for the other two. Probably because they at least say 'village' or 'town'--that one's talking about just the inn!!)
Re: this is a lot of rambling
Date: 2013-07-31 08:36 pm (UTC)I was actually considering waiting for a LP for the DLC as well; mostly as I was so put off by the combat in Infinite I'm not entirely encouraged about going through that again. That said, maybe it'll be different due to Rapture, and I am really intrigued as to what's going to happen. Also the meeting with Elizabeth looks like its done to give the impression its a returning BioShock character and there's a lot of speculation if this is an AU with the Infinite cast in place of BioShock cast, or they're additional and previously unseesn Rapture denizens.
I do agree about the unconcious period being annoying (I skipped straight over that last time) as it does mean she does nothing for a week - and yeah would then be stuck until Sapphire WEAPON turns up. The AU for the escape is intriguing, but yeah, getting everyone together again is a bit trickier. Oh! And yeah having Aeris there as well really would make it bittersweet when Tifa wakes up and Aeris is uncomfortably aware that they could be coming for her any second.
That is possible that Elena is reacting similarly to Hope like that; Cloud and co. are much less daunting to deal with then Sephiroth would or could be... Though yeah, the dialogue is a bit too far unless as you say she is completely convinced. I wonder if it's... not so much different in Japanese, its just the blame is easier to understand (another point to get to in the re-translation of the game. As well as finding out what on Earth Johnny says).
Heh - yeah Icicle Inn has always stuck out as being the oddest named settlement for me too; it really feels that place should have had another name; and yeah, never thought that about the other two - they sound righter as place names, and have a right sense to them when the circumstances of their founding is considered/conjectured.
(now my brain has gone silly: postal delivery to the area. The package is addressed to Icicle Inn - the postal worker is pretty sure this is for the Inn and not just the area. The staff at Icicle Inn open the packagae and find six copies of Loveless inside and wearily send someone to tell the red-headed stranger that the delivery company forgot to put his name and address on the package again (...brain you confuse me; why Genesis of all people?! Well, needed something obviously not intended for the inn to be delivered... rambly...))
Re: this is a lot of rambling
Date: 2013-08-01 06:58 pm (UTC)I saw a pic with the Booker Dewitt Detective Agency (or however that went) door in it--isn't he the playable character? I mean he could easily not recognize Elizabeth because he's had his life with Anna and she doesn't look the same (and this Booker's not clued in to alternate realities). But then again I wasn't looking too closely at what the pics I came across did show of the player's character so I could be completely wrong and it's another Bioshock character. It'll just be interesting to see what they do (though, ack, at the combat being fun--I do remember other complaints about it but the genre's the completely wrong one for me to judge anyway).
Sometimes I feel like I should just go through the whole FF7 Japanese script just to satisfy my curiosity. Then I realize with how much Japanese I don't now, this would drive me pretty well insane (slang and casual language would just. no. no.)
Ahaha the Loveless takeover has gotten to you. But yeah, the address confusion does seem like it'd be a thing with that sort of name.
Re: this is a lot of rambling
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From:actual comment response
Date: 2013-07-27 08:29 pm (UTC)Oh, yes, I can definitely see that innocence in sweetheart, which I think makes it more fitting as Tifa's preferred term for a love... though yeah, she'll come to accept "soulmate" a bit more in time. And that's true that "sweetheart" is not necessarily mutual.
Slight language differences aren't always obvious, so feel free to keep pointing stuff out when it sounds off to you--I'm pretty sure I've done the exact same thing with phrases that are perfectly correct.
lmfao Cloud and Tifa both hate the "go alone" part of this plan. Meanwhile Aerith is pretty much going "oh come on it's the best plan I got"
I do keep thinking that at some point Tifa and Aerith are going to be due for an argument given how things are going, even without blatantly hypocritical statements (...also I felt really bad in writing the Aerith section with how she keeps thinking she's doing the right thing and this will keep Cloud and Tifa out of trouble and it's like hahaha TIFA ALMOST KILLED, CLOUD OUT OF HIS HEAD, NOT EVEN SURE SHE HELPED THE PLANET it gets better eventually...) Mostly it's figuring out when this would actually happen, given the lecture Tifa wanted to give at the altar got...cut short.
I definitely wrote an Aerith-centric thing. >_>
I just imagine when Cloud and Aerith get left alone by Tifa Cloud's thinking that it's because he is in deep, deep trouble with what he did at the Temple and he needs to start apologizing to Aerith NOW and Aerith's just like "Cloud. Cloud, calm down. No one's mad. TIFA? CAN YOU COME BACK BEFORE CLOUD THINKS WE DON'T LIKE HIM NOW?"
"It really isn't quite the right moment"
...I think I have a bit of guilty pleasure for humor even during serious times. Or maybe that's just with certain characters (Aerith...)
Ahaha yeah in Tifa's notebook the 15 minutes = 15 minutes thing would be a very slight footnote with "SCHEDULE-MAKING" and then meanwhile "don't use magic to subdue your loved ones" is so big it just takes over its page and is underlined. several times. Did not like that.
...Kind of amused to think Tifa's notebook was actually supposed to be a record of their trip so like there's a bunch of notes on general musing things and some passages about Cloud (but so very, very vague because omg what if he found it and read it, or someone else did. she wouldn't live it down) and then there's passages where Aerith takes over because it's like "we were doing this today and it was really wonderful and Aerith is the best girl friend I've ever had
and I kind of wish we were more" and then the very occasional "I wish she wouldn't do _____"and then it gets to the second time at the Gold Saucer and the Temple and Gongaga and it's just an absolute mess of "Aerith why do you do this to me we need to talk about ALL THESE THINGS"
Yeah, the lullaby has definitely won out for that moment; I might write that snippet of Tifa's section next before setting out to do Cloud's.
...And haha, yeah, Cloud's section might definitely be the tricky one with figuring out what I want to do while keeping a consistent POV. we shall see. I can see Tifa thinking fair weather friendship a bit which is kind of. ouch. on both sides really, Cloud for her thinking that of him and her for thinking that's how Cloud sees her.
Also I realized sometime on Thursday the game script itself suggests Cloud doesn't remember everything that happened in the temple, when he first blacks out--before the dream starts in the forest: "Everything is white... What did I do? I don't remember anything... My memory... since when...? If everything's a dream, don't wake me." So yeah, definitely going with his memory of handing the Black materia and hurting Aerith being in fragments or coming back that way, so at the time of the dream he remembers he let things go really wrong, but not exactly how or that he himself hurt Aerith.
I think the Sephiroth encouraging Cloud to go to Aeris before Tifa feeds back into the tumblr conversation of Cloud needing a justification for his impulses - at that point he's compelled but he honestly also wants to be the one to talk to Aeris, but does back down at Tifa's request. The second movement curtailed by Barret is more blatant manipulation and that's going to worry him somewhat that he's agreed to not go up there, but his body suddenly overrode his mind...
Yes, that's pretty much exactly it; the first part is an impulse like as he's had all along, and the second one is more along the lines of when his body is just outright taken over.
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-07-27 09:27 pm (UTC)...haha. Actually when you point out a sentence doesn't sound right, its so far been always correct - often as I wrote something hurriedly or half-asleep and it seemed to make sense at the time, but is in actuality some tortuous phrase which makes no sense.
I'm all for Aeris and Tifa having an argument; as much as they will be happy and contented, friction/misunderstandings are natural parts of relationships - its one of the aspects that is really infuriating when Case of Tifa is used as anti-Cloti evidence because they fight. Couples fight, they get angry and make-up. They might split for a while, try to see other people and get back together. Not to say CoT doesn't have other issues (we've been over those a few times), its just seemingly that Clerith can be this perfect, completely understanding, stress-free relationship - mostly due to circumstance/time constraints while Cloti is not all plain-sailing, but it never has to be. Bit of a tangent there.
Heh - ah, but Aeris was not to know Tifa would make such a sacrifice for her, or quite what Sephiroth was planning, so in her own mind she feels justified. And yeah, she's going to hit a real bad patch after this, but things will get better (*wishing for deliriously happy once things are sorted, the OT3 is together. Something like how Cloud/Zack/Aeris were behaving in 'The Sky...' just before Aeris, Tifa, Marlene and Merlin go to the Disney castle, and the description of the other two not wanting to let go, her getting dishevelled, but *glowing**)
Haha - like the thought of Cloud and Aeris left together, and he's thinking he's in deep trouble and Aeris tries to mollify him and calls Tifa back...
Humour during serious times actually feels really appropriate for characters like Aeris, so I'm encouraging it!
I like all the descriptions of Tifa's note-book and those two examples. I think don't use magic to subdue your loved ones needs to be across two pages in big letters. And then Tifa makes Aeris write out in the available spaces later on so she learns...
The idea of the notebook being, or at least starting as a journal is a nice one too, and I like the evasive/oblique notes about Clouod, and the much more honest Aeris ones.
The fair-weather friend thing is indeed a little bit ouch, but it seemed to work from Tifa's mindset - she implies he'll gravitate towards Aeris, and in her absence he'll gravitate towards her. It connects with her view of their relationship as a contest and that she's already lost, and she's not even a consolation prize, she's a temporary consolation prize until Cloud gets the person he wants. That said this is a sticky notion to bring up and then reverse completely later on...
Ah - that's interesting the game-script canonically has Cloud uncertain of the events at the Temple which does nicely feed into how you're doing his mindset - and makes it a lot easier for the aftermath.
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-07-28 07:02 pm (UTC)I could've sworn I haven't realized about a regional thing at least once. At any rate seriously, feel free to keep telling me if something doesn't sound right to you; sometimes things are technically correct and still not the best choice.
That's very true that friction/arguments are natural parts of relationships--and it helps make the fictional ones more interesting, even if we wish they wouldn't happen in our real ones XD; And oh, Clerith shouldn't be completely perfect. They're very different people and definitely have different ways of looking at things, even if they also have good chemistry with each other.
Something like how Cloud/Zack/Aeris were behaving in 'The Sky...' just before Aeris, Tifa, Marlene and Merlin go to the Disney castle, and the description of the other two not wanting to let go, her getting dishevelled, but *glowing*
Marlene or Kairi? But oh, yeah, that really was a sweet description. I can't say I'm so good at moments like that but I do want to give them some happy times after all this trouble.
And then Tifa makes Aeris write out in the available spaces later on so she learns...
LMFAO yes. Time for some lines young lady ("I'm older than you!" "You weren't acting like it :| /POINTS TO PAPER")
The idea of a Tifa journal during the trip actually sounds like a neat little idea in itself... she or Aerith are the two most likely to keep diaries and it'd be kind of interesting to see what each of them would cover (aaaaaaand then my mind started making this bittersweet aerti with both their entries gradually showing feelings growing for each other but never quite making up their minds to say it and Tifa's last entry is her finding Aerith's journal after she died, bawwwww)
Yeah, the fairweather friend is definitely hard to both build up as a valid belief for Tifa to have and then go "but of course that's not how Cloud feels!" I mean it's possible for Cloud to be kind of a clod with his emotional ineptitude but...it'd definitely have to be carefully built up in that he is trying to be a good friend to her, it's just coming off wrong because he's also floundering with his identity crisis and because he just doesn't understand the social tact of some situations (I mean even if he was told there was a competition between Aerith and Tifa... "what are they competing over??" lol Cloud.)
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-07-28 08:06 pm (UTC)And I'd say the same; tell me if something doesn't sound right (well you have done, but please continue!) - you're right, technically correct but not necessarily the best choice.
Definitely agree that friction/arguments are wanted in fictional relationships (and oh yes, to avoid those in real ones...). And very true! Clerith shouldn't be perfect for all the reasons you listed; it just feels like there's an expectation of this if Cloti can be attacked for a few cross words/lost tempers. Its just again we never saw the couple together long enough to see the moment when one or other snaps, or just has a spectacularly bad day...
Oh dammit! Yeah, Kairi (I should worry she got interchanged with Marlene there). But hooray for happy times later on!
The lines/"But I'm older than you" just made me laugh, so that's be great to see if it could be worked in. Actually the idea of the Aerti fic with the two journal is a bit like 'Love Not Often' as Tifa does final Aeris's journal after the fact (after AC in fact/it then gets magically filled in). This is different though, as the couple get together prior to the end of disc 1 in that fic, and its not Tifa later finding out how Aeris felt, and that would be so sad! It actually half reminds me of another fic where it turns out Aeris is illiterate and Tifa teaches her to read and write, and Tifa is staying up later and later and abusing Cure materia to keep herself awake so she can keep helping... and then feels so betrayed at Enchantment Night. But yes, I like the idea of it, and I don't think its been executed in quite that way that I've run across.
Thinking about it, the fair-weather friend situation can be made to work, but it'd have to be done in the right order; basically I think you can have Tifa coming to that conclusion from his actions, and have Cloud's POV to make clear that's not how he sees it (still leaving with Tifa not feeling great towards Cloud, but later events like entering his mind would clear that up a bit).
Haha - yeah, Cloud really would say that if told there was a competition between the two girls...
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-07-28 09:15 pm (UTC)Even in game there are a few moments where Aerith loses patience with Cloud (I don't think it's ever true in the opposite direction, though it is easy to picture him finally getting mad that she won't listen when all he's trying to do is keep her safe). So yeah I do think they would have arguments (at times I like imagining them having spectacular arguments and then making up so...)
Haha while "Marlene" did throw me for a minute (was wondering if she cameo'd and I missed it) it's pretty easy to see how the two got switched with Scribblr's fic being so FF7-heavy--they're both the young girl of the group.
I just keep picturing with the lines that Aerith looks to Cloud for help with Tifa and he just puts on a serious face and says as leader of the group, he thinks Tifa's idea sounds pretty fair and she better get started. Nooo winning this one here, Aerith. XD
The magically filling diary always seemed weird to me... yeah this diary would just be an ordinary one. I can imagine Tifa being frustrated and upset at first because it is sad that they didn't figure it out while they could have had something, so her last journal entry of the time is bitter...and then maybe a calmer one some months later as an epilogue (though it's always possible to just end on the bitter note).
Actually after some more thought I don't think the fairweather friend CAN work, not without going AU in its own way; like, you mention events like entering his mind would clear that up a bit, and that really does seem like the first time things could get cleared up, but that's after she's been determined to find Cloud and then stay by his side and care for him through the end of the world, and there's also the way she's so sure that he would say things that would reassure her after the execution. From that faith I don't think it'd really work to be showing Tifa as thinking Cloud is a poor friend ...which now I think I may have to relook earlier portions over and make sure that most of her doubt is in her chances of romance and the weirdness of the memory conflict but not in him as a friend.
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-07-28 10:00 pm (UTC)Good point; I had blanked on Aeris getting ticked off with Cloud (the not wanting to involve her because she's a girl at her house, potentially that difficult to answer question in Costa del Sol...); but yeah very easy to see him getting mad that she won't listen as he's trying to keep her safe. I like the thought of spectacular arguments, but they cool down super-fast and make up just as fast...
I think I was also conflating 'But that was...' with 'The Sky...' which didn't help. But yeah, Kairi is in a similar position and with such a FFVII influence... At least you did know the moment I meant despite that goof!
Haha - yeah Aeris is not winning that argument ever.
Oh, the magically filling diary seemed weird to me too, and the ordinary one sounds better! And yeah, I can definitely see Tifa's last entry being bitter that Aeris never said anything/she herself never spoke up and just how different would things have been... (kinda torn on the point to leave it on actually. The bitter one sounds really right, like she can't bring herself to ever re-visit the diary after this entry - this is her last thoughts about Aeris and she's going to have to try and forget/move on and as much as she meant everything she wrote before she can't cope with reminders - at least not yet. So that's it, its a pained goodbye to Aeris and the nagging wondering of what might have been. But then the calmer one would still fit - its been some months later, the world is saved, things are calming down (/optional ignoring of AC here) and Tifa misses Aeris too much that she has to revisit the diary just to remind herself of her friend. So she opens it up, reads cover to cover... and just feels uncomfortable reading that last entry. She meant every word, but she hasn't been able to stay angry/mad/bitter. She knows Aeris never meant to die/never wanted to die/never needed to die, that if either had said anything nothing would have changed. And had she lived they might have one day been able to talk about their feelings and things would have been different. And she's reationalised that just as Aeris never said anything about her feelings, she didn't either, so they're both to blame/Tifa knows they'll be reunited in the Lifestream, but Aeris would want her to live first. So Tifa writes one final entry (maybe in both?), a much calmer, sad, but not bitter goodbye to her friend)
Got a little rambly there (also; much like 48 Exposures, there is a real appeal to these canon-spliced artifacts that the characters could plausibly have had. The twin diaries have a nice rightness to them. Suddenly I'm thinking they both start in Kalm - while gathering supplies, they spot them in a shop and both decide to keep a travel diary. Oh! And maybe the idea was at some future point they swap so they can see the other's perspective, and both hit on this being the way to confess to the other but writing it in, only that back-fires so sadly).
Ahhh! Good point about the fairweather friend. Yeah, that isn't going to mesh quite right there; so yeah Tifa can't be in any doubt of Cloud as a friend - just in terms of romance/the love triangle/the memory conflict (and that does work nicely as I think Tifa will attribute her seeming failure in the romance stakes because she doesn't feel able to speak up and tell Cloud how she feels/doesn't feel able to with the memory conflict).
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-07-30 01:51 pm (UTC)...I may have been thinking about how arguments would go in a threesome living arrangement too much. At any rate there are definitely arguments Aerith will never ever win like "but I went alone to keep you two safe--" "NO."
Yeah, that seems exactly right for mindset for both "final" entries--I think the second ending would depend on whether or not Tifa kept the diaries, or if Aerith's (and possibly hers as well) were thrown away/destroyed while she was still bitter about it (...mental image of Cloud coming to the campfire to see a journal in there and all Tifa will say about it is that it was dry paper and she couldn't find more kindling). Depending on just how personal Aerith's diary was, if she did keep it, it might be something that eventually gets shared with others--Elmyra, or maybe the rest of AVALANCHE. But yeah starting in Kalm and it being a shared idea seems right for both of them keeping one, and from there the idea of a swap is pretty easy.
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-07-30 08:18 pm (UTC)Oh! Definitely agree that Aeris at her angriest is the very calm, very composed and very clear - and Tifa now wishing for the yelling again (heh - and yeah what is Cloud doing that has angered Aeris so much?)
Hehe - its good to think about how an argument in that setup would work - and it makes me again wonder how often they would occur even with the participants really striving to communicate as clearly and openly as possible to prevent later complications. And yeah, Aeris is never winning the wanting to keep them both safe argument (and by extension, neither is Cloud if he ever tries to pull something like that).
Oh! that would be really sad if Tifa threw away her diary like that or burnt it. Though, I can see this being she burns her own out of frustration/sorrow/anger/bitterness, but can't bring herself to burn Aeris's as well (so in fic form, interspersed entries from along the journey/a moment in the North when the weather is freezing and they need warmth so Tifa sacrifices her own diary, then later post-game she writes the epilogue?). So she does eventually revisit it and really regrets burning her own... Hmm... if Aeris really is going to confess her feelings in the diary, it feels like Tifa would share some parts rather then others - especially if there is an expectation of the other reading it eventually and that kind of love confession is included.
Re: actual comment response
Date: 2013-07-31 01:52 pm (UTC)lmfao if Tifa gets recalled as referee--well it depends. I can see some matters coming up that still don't involve her because it really is an opinion difference between Cloud and Aerith that just isn't a factor in day-to-day stuff (and then she scolds them both for dragging her into it instead of working it out between them) but then yeah, there'd be the stuff where she does need to weigh in because it legitimately affects their relationship. And then it's like ffffffff having to pick a side, why.
(Though I can also imagine that at first all of them feel some need to play peacekeeper if a fight comes up between the other two because they've never been in this arrangement before and they're afraid of things souring somehow--which if the other two don't work things out between them might really happen. Aerith is happy to leave Cloud and Tifa to it as long as they're actually talking about the problem (heaven help them if they aren't), Tifa wants to play peacekeeper all the time at first and comes to realize 1) that's tiring 2) Cloud and Aerith don't always appreciate a moderator and 3) it probably is better for them to work through some things on their own. Cloud reacting to Tifa and Aerith fighting... he's probably torn between wanting to help fix it now and fretting he's going to somehow make it blow up even worse. Cloooouuuuud.)
Haha yeah AC Cloud would be in trouble too with Tifa and Aerith on trying to keep them out of his problems. I can kiiiind of see Tifa doing this sometime, not that it ever came up with Cloud or Aerith but the whole deal with Don Corneo (she says herself Barret told her to leave it alone and not get involved with the Don, now here she is in Wall Market on her own, if Cloud and Aerith hadn't happened to see and go after her she probably would have gotten dumped in the sewers with Aps on her own), but I think the circumstances would have to be really specific to get her doing that, she seems to default a lot more to doing things as a group.
...I'm kind of blanking on ideas about the journal thing right now. /shakes brain
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